13 Reasons Why Wealthy People Avoid You
As someone who has major trust issues, I can relate. I also have rich family and friends.
Thank you Ossiana Tepfenhart for the inspiration.
As always, my bluntness in this is off the chain. If you don’t have thick skin don’t read. I do curse too. I just keep it for real no matter what that looks like.
1. They can’t trust you.
As someone who doesn’t:
- Trust easily
- Been burned by so called friends multiple times. This Tik Tok is spot on. When you down bad, you realize who’s in your corner. People talk that loyalty stuff, and when the time comes, they all disappear.)
- Has trust issues to the point where I’m avoidant and have protective love patterns. I do not make it easy for people to get next to me. (And if I decide to let you in, please don’t make me regret it or question it. )
- (Sidenote: But Alesha, you gotta trust somebody. Ok, I’ll play along. I have a self care routine that I trust, lets start there. It involves my favorite skin care brands, Lubriderm, Minty Relieph, and sometimes I go grab a small bottle Aveeno or Cerave while waiting for fav Minty Relieph to arrive. I can’t even front with the flareups, they are apart of my day to day life and makes life easier to deal with. They are the one of the few things that I trust that provides me comfort, and they actually do what they say they gonna do haha. And they don’t gossip. I played along.)
- Became financially ruined for years for trusting the wrong people/school (hello, if you called me a fucking idiot I won’t get mad. I’m to the point where I rather be closed off than be vulnerable to the wrong people, that shit was too costly.)
It’s discerning to be in situation where every time you are around someone or people. Or family. You have to wonder if they want to get to know the real you for you. Or they around you for what you got. Because you deep down know if the money is gone, so are they. When hard times come around, they are no where to be found. The same people who want you to treat them all the time, wouldn’t treat you to a single meal.
They are people with feelings, struggles, desires and goals just like you.
Or every time you are around family, they are overly anxious to hang around you.
And you know they are kissing your ass/afraid to piss you off/want to be in your good graces because of what you have.
If staying safe means keeping your circle small and with people you trust, I get that to the core. I have a wall so high that my trust of people is very low. Megan Thee Stallion’s interview on CBS this morning hit me to the core, because she says she trusts no one. I feel you babe.
I barely trust anyone, so I understand completely.
I understand making someone earn your trust, or being lukewarm to them.
And wait. Taking the chance on someone, just to get used, burned or taking a financial hit.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CZedfReKfj-/
They are cautious of people that think they deserve access to a version of them they didn’t earn or deserve.
1a. They are cautious of people that think they deserve access to a version of them they didn’t earn or deserve.
Say this louder for the people in the back.
1b. They realize that too many people don’t come into their life to love them, but to use them.
2. You have ulterior motives, and only want to hang around them for what they got, not who they are as people.
3. As Ossianna pointed out: You’re after their money, connections, or status. They are not stupid and can tell you are trying to ride their coattails.
I don’t remember who said it, but I remember a rich person say that if he wasn’t rich, he’d get a job as a doorman where rich people hang out. Why? Because wealth is contagious and if you hang out with rich people, you’ll start to adopt habits and connections that keep you wealthy too.
In theory, some people don’t know any better and they just want to better their lives. And the way we always been told us is hang out with people who has more than you, more successful and so forth.
But there’s also a point where you start to use people.
Would you still be friends/want to be friends with this person or seek this person out if they lost it all/didn’t have the money, connections or status? BE HONEST. Prolly not.
Would you see them as a role model if they wasn’t famous, had status or connections? Prolly not.
Would you be trying to hang around them because of their status?
Believe it or not, you don’t have to be very rich to have people try to use you. When you’re middle class like me, it can still happen — often with people who are literally just above or below you. A major thing rich people learn quick is sniffing users out.
If a wealthy person gets even the slightest inkling of you trying to use them, they’re never going to let you in their circle. And honestly? I understand it. Having been the used party, I can tell you that it puts you in a very awkward position.
Anyone who’s friends with you will start to question you. Having someone using you in your midst devalues you to others, and puts you at risk, too. With the money wealthy people have, it’s easy to see why they insist on bailing fast.
3. You’re jealous of them
They’ve been traumatized by the interactions they had with other poor people. Trust me when I say that this is a thing — and a major one, at that. In very elite circles, you often meet people who are extremely suspicious of you. It’s not just the worry about you using them, either.
A major unspoken tendency in people is the need to tear down others who are doing better than you. In other words, a lot of rich people have experienced hatred, aggression, and straight-up discrimination because people knew their wealth. The resentment is real.
Being used is only half the issue. The other half is how often rich people who take a risk on people end up receiving abuse for it. A lot of wealthy people have such terrible experiences with people of other classes, they write them off entirely.
I mentioned this in my articles before.
But people are jealous of people who are more successful and have more than them. I mentioned this here…I noticed how many of my former school friends stopped talking with me when it looked like I was doing something (even just saying I wanted to do music instead of a 9 to 5).
But when is the last time you looked at a wealthy person and said….
I wonder what they went through to get that? What are their fears and struggles behind closed doors?
Instead of being hateful and jealous?
It’s a mindset switch.
Do some people have breaks that others don’t? Yes. Some people work hard and still don’t get ahead. That’s how the cookie crumbles. Some people don’t have to experience financial hardships and live paycheck to paycheck.
They may have pain in their past. In some instances, people reach hard for their dreams only to fall short, often through no fault of their own. And some individuals honestly have been kicked when they’re down through various types of abuse. When you go up another rung on the ladder, it’s like you throw all that back in their face. They don’t resent you, per se, because they know you’ve worked hard, too, but their sense of fairness makes them sad and angry that others can do well when they still feel trapped.-WANDA THIBODEAUX
To be honest, I trusted the wrong people financially believing they would look out for me in school. I will never see scholarships, help, and aid in the same way ever again. When things got bad, I said I hope no one has to go through this stupid shit. If you are reading this and never had to experience being let down by people over and over again (especially financially) I’m happy for you. If you never had to deal with the rat race or living paycheck to paycheck, I’m happy for you. (If you have a sugar daddy/mama, good for you lol, I don’t knock anyone’s hustle, everyone has to make it in this world too.).
I know people that has never had to have financial hardships. Thank goodness. The embarrassment and shame. Mentally, I don’t think I’ll ever see life the same after that shit. I decided a long time ago that I would/I’m pulling myself up so high that I won’t have to deal with that again. It was a situation where I asked for help, and I was their puppet and they were the puppet master(s). It came with way too many strings attached. (I was crazy for ever buying into the lie that they were looking out for me, but I’ll keep my thoughts on that short for the purposes of this article.)
If you are reading this and having a hard time, that’s emotionally, financially, psychologically, what not. Or you living paycheck to paycheck. And everything keeps falling apart no matter what you do. And you think there’s no light at the end of the tunnel.
Being hateful of someone else and their wealth is not going to change your situation, and for some people, it takes them a lifetime to learn that.
Can you be happy for someone who has more than you? Genuinely?
You’re not competing over someone who you think is doing better than you. You are still competing with yourself.
If you are sitting around waiting for someone to fail, ultimately that will get back to you.
There’s many people out here that want you to live in misery because they are.
I watched people in grade school up to adulthood cut people because they think it’s the only way to get ahead. At these times, no one around me had the same wavelength/energy as I did, so I ended up spending more time by myself. And I spend more time by myself unless I find people on the same wavelength.
For the second time. Being hateful of someone else and their wealth is not going to change your situation. Waiting for someone wealthy to have a bad day or watching them have a hard time is not going to help you. And for some people, it takes them a lifetime to learn that, like I said above, some people never get it.
And I’m going to keep saying this until we get to point #7: taking the chance on someone, just to get used, burned or taking a financial hit.
why choose negativity when you could choose yourself, instead?
scarcity mindset lies to us — it tells us that only one of us can make it. it makes us jealous of people we’d be better off supporting and learning from. if we’re not careful, scarcity mindset will have us competing with each other for scraps when we could all be feasting together.
instead of being jealous of people who are more accomplished than you, let their existence serve as inspiration. look at them as examples of what’s possible. let go of that scarcity mindset and walk confidently into abundance. you deserve.
[tweet screenshot; tweet by michell reads: “when you see people accomplish things you didn’t know were possible, it should be an invitation to re-examine the limitations you’re imposing on yourself, not an opportunity to poke holes in the legitimacy of their breakthrough.”]-Mitchell C. Clark
4. You think their money is your money. You assume that every time you go out with them, they pay for the meal because they have more money than you.
Have you ever offered to foot the bill for your wealthy friends when you go out to a restaurant?
Rich and wealthy people like to be spoiled, surprised and cared for too.
You might not be able to do it on the scale that they can (nor is anyone expecting you to). But if you pay for something sometime, it would make you stand out. Surprise them. Be the 1/10 person that offers to treat them. They expect most people to try and get money off of them in different ways.
5. You name drop their name to earn favor/gain tickets/get free gear, etc.
For full disclosure, if I can’t buy tickets and add value to the situation, I’m staying my sorry ass either at the bar or at home. I said this in a Facebook post and had people private message me because of how for real it sounded. I have a tendency to keep it for real, no matter what that looks like.
My policy is, what you see is what you get. If I can afford it, I will tell you. If I can’t, I’ll tell you. There’s so many people that front appearances because they don’t want to appear/look poor to other people. And they want to be seen places with people they have or think have something. Or they are status struck. The sad reality is, people judge you based on what you look like/how much money they think you have. This plays out in real life, so many people want to impress people around them instead of focusing more on being themselves.
I see people name dropping other’s names sometimes to get tickets to Colts football games, and I’m like what the f***. (After the way the Colts played against the Jags with Wentz, I had to start following other teams to feel better. As a long time Colts fan I can’t take the shit anymore. That was so damn embarrassing. I’m still the laughing stock amongst some of my football friends when I say I’m a Colts fan. Matt Ryan, lets see what you can do, but I also follow the Cowboys, Tampa Bay, Chiefs, Bills, sometimes the Bengals and Rams. If I were to name the quarterbacks I follow that would take forever, lets save it for another article.)
If I was in that position, would I want someone doing that shit to me? Name dropping my name? No, because they would be using my name to gain favor. At that point, I couldn’t and wouldn’t trust them.
If you had the right intentions and wasn’t looking to get anything for free, why name drop?
I’m pretty sure if you ran it by the person who’s name your dropping, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be ok with it.
If you can’t afford tickets? I get it that $500 tickets can be expensive. Even $90 is a lot for some people. Get the nosebleed section or stay at home and watch it from the couch. When I have to have surgery paying out tens of thousands of dollars, I watch from the hospital bed bothering no one.
7. They want to hang out with people like them.
Think about the last time that you saw a homeless person in your circle. Unless you’re an outlier to the rule like me, you probably haven’t had it happen. Now, ask yourself why.
Is it because he smelled? Is it because he posed more of a risk than he did a reward? I’m willing to bet that you looked at him and thought, “Yep, I would gain nothing from this dude and would lose a lot if I actively befriended him.”
It’s sad, but it’s true. As humans, we tend to seek out people we feel would benefit us — and if you don’t, you probably should. It’s a matter of self-preservation. We also tend to avoid people who we feel pose a risk to our wellbeing.
Rich people are well-aware of how bad one single relationship can be to your livelihood. I mean, we’ve all seen true crime cases of wealthy millionaires killed by friends they took in and helped out. It’s a thing.
If you have nothing to offer, chances are that wealthy people will be lukewarm to you at best. It’s just the way things are.
You really have to be careful who you let in your circle. It can be the difference between your well-being and success. It can be the difference between life and death. (More on that in #7, and if you haven’t noticed, we hit #7. Read on).
Why do you think Bill Gates and Warren Buffet are friends? Because they are in the same realm and they are not trying to get things or money off each other.
Once you hit a certain level, you have to distance yourself. Look what happened to Nipsy Hussle for trying to give back.
Sometimes, when you reach a certain level of success, you have to let some people go, because they can try to poke holes, backstab you and try to keep you down. Or shoot to kill you.
Simply saying I want better for myself and having a different ideas of what success is? People hate me and resent me for it. I sensed it on smaller scales my whole life, and I can only imagine.
Sometimes, you can’t go back to where you come from, or give back to your “hood” , because that same “hood” was/contain people that tried to keep you from getting to the position/status/wealth.
I’m not saying be an asshole about it, but the sad reality is you can’t help everyone. Most people will not reach millionaire level status.
I’m not suggesting not give back. It’s just at their own/your own discretion. You/they give if and when you/they want to, not when someone else tells you to.
8. You offer nothing beneficial to them and are more of a liability.
Rich people are well-aware of how bad one single relationship can be to your livelihood. I mean, we’ve all seen true crime cases of wealthy millionaires killed by friends they took in and helped out. It’s a thing.
8a. You’re a User.
9. You expect them to support you in your causes, but you won’t support them in their business ventures.
“They always have money, why should I buy something from them?”
You’re missing the point.
“They come from money. They don’t need mine.”
You’re missing the point.
You never know what’s happening behind closed doors. They might need more support than you care to realize. Money is helpful to have, doesn’t make problems go away. (I would love to trade all the money in the world to have my friends, family, and the guy I loved back…I have a protective love pattern, and I was considering letting my guard down for the first time in years. He passed away and money can’t bring them back. They are all gone. Remember money doesn’t solve everything……I would give my front seat in hell to have them back.)
They might come from a rich/wealthy/well-off family. But have you considered that maybe the person wants to make their own way and their own money?
But their grandparents are wealthy and have millions. Their money goes 5 generations back. They never had to have financial hardships.
You’re missing the point.
They may want to make their own. Or add more income streams. It’s not your call what you think they should or shouldn’t do, or what money you think they don’t need.
They don’t help me.
It’s their money and they can do what they want and help whomever they want at their own discretion.
I’m struggling and having a really hard time. They could turn me on to their connections and make my life easier, but they are being selfish and keeping it to themselves.
They keep posting pictures of their travels, and it’s like they are bragging about where they get to go and where other people don’t get to go.
I’m going to explain more of my position in 9. If you can’t learn to be happy for other’s happiness, you won’t reach what’s meant for you…
And they don’t have to turn their connections/what not to on to you. They are not being selfish (and even if they are that’s none of your concern love). They are looking out for their own welfare by keeping their circles small. They have a right to include who they want at their own discretion, just like you pick out the people you want to hang around right?
Someone in their family had to make the sacrifice to make it easier for them. Maybe you can be this person for your clan. Maybe you think you don’t know what to do to make life easier, and you think the only way to make it is to latch on/ride the coattails of someone who’s wealthy or with status. You can find your way, your own lane, but you just have to find it. Maybe you are an average joe/sally and you know you can’t have a title like your rich relative. Maybe your friend is a big NFL superstar football quarterback, and you are barely making ends meet. But you can still find your gift and talents.
Bullying or hating someone because someone has luxury this or that is not right. Could you genuinely wish someone the best?
This takes a shift, but if you can learn to learn from the successful instead of hating on them it’s a gamechanger.
It may appear someone has it going on more than you, but you have no clue what happens behind closed doors. You don’t have no clue what someone had to go through to get where they are, and you have no context. Do you understand the pressures they have to deal with? Because once someone reaches the top, their journey is rarely judged.
What’s meant for you will be yours, what’s mean for them is meant for them. Jealousy is not gonna stop anyone’s destiny. If you can learn how to be happier for someone else’s success, you will reap good karma.
On the other hand, lets say they do take the chance on you.
And lets just say you fall through and don’t work out. Do you understand how much of a hit they can take if it doesn’t work out? But you’re not thinking of it this way.
But
You are not in their position and haven’t been there.
But…
You’re missing the point. The way you think is the reason why they stay away and don’t include you. Instead of trying to explain to someone who doesn’t get it, it’s best to keep their distance and leave you alone.
If you have a chance to support and elevate someone (no matter what you think they have/their position/status/wealth), do it. It can be on a smaller scale, no one is expecting you to have Oprah money.
9. You don’t know how to act (you don’t fit in).
For full disclosure and a little bit on my upbringing.
I’m not exactly someone that people seek out (contrary to what some might think). Even though I’m an actress/musician with a lot of streams on Soundcloud and views on Youtube, I’m not famous nor do I fit in (and I never really tried to). I’m at a point in my journey where I am making decisions for my happiness that doesn’t make sense to anyone else around me.
I’m not looking for a high-five, a word of encouragement, approval or invites. I’m not asking what you think about it. I’m just going to do it. So if you see me doing something out of character, or I’m acting brand new, or if I’m on some new shit. Just know it’s about who I am becoming and not about where I been. It’s about where I’m going and not where I was. And I don’t want anyone to take it personal when this growth happens. Savannah Christina originally said this, but it applies to me a lot. I literally got rid of my former religion, some schools, some people and some organizations that I cared about for a long time because I cared wayy too much, and the feeling wasn’t mutual. Most of them didn’t-don’t give two fucks about me and it showed.
As the only child growing up, I have people I hang out with, but I crave my solitude. Seriously I’m the person who goes to the movie theater by myself because protecting my peace is more important to me, than fitting in. I don’t live for other people. What people say about me is none of my business.
Also throughout my life, I faced a lot of rejection because people don’t/didn’t understand me. We had different definitions of success and I especially wanted different things (and I still want different things). I wasn’t willing to backstab or gossip to fit in. I didn’t and still don’t fit in people’s box. I don’t care about status, celebrity status, or fame when it comes to a person. I don’t care about being seen as important or being recognized. My biggest thing is can I trust this person? If I told this person something, will they be able to keep it? I don’t care about the size of your house, or how many swimming pools you have or who you know. I’m not going to ohhhh and ahhhhhh your lambos (although as a cheerleader and not jealous type of friend, I will atta girl/boy you when appropriate). If you drove up in a Honda, I still get in that b**** with you to ride/drive if I trust you as a person. If I don’t trust you, I’ll walk the 10+ miles I need to (and did it before….or Lyft. And when I have a car, fix the darn tires on my own.)
I’m misunderstood. I also look at things from 8 to 9 different realms.
And I’m also not into the same things many of the people around me are. For example: I listen to Sadhguru, BK Shivani, Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and mantras.
Because truth be told, my situation got so bad I had to start riding the bus/subway. Due to the surgeries/treatment/chemo/what not and meds I’m on, I can’t drive anyways (it’s not cool to drive under the influence of anything people, and they tell me on the medicine box do not drive if you take these!) It’s pathetic and embarrassing, but I’m known for my transparency and keeping it for real.. The question I ask of everyone is? Everyone wants to be quick to ride with you in the limo or private jet, but who’s willing to ride the bus or walk with you if that limo broke down? Or the private jet came down?
At different times, I won’t reveal other things because I want to keep my peace, and I don’t want people to start liking me just because. I have a small group of Instagram peeps I share things with, and I trust at this point they keep my surprising secret quiet (for now…..)
And I’ve told several people I rather give them the fame spot first. Trust, loyalty and peace is so important to me that I literally had to and still isolate at times until I find people on my same wavelength. As with anything, trust has to be earned, so I welcome anyone put me through their trust obstacle course (I cold-turkey ran 16.9. miles for the mini marathon and was in pain for 2 weeks, so I’m up for the trust challenge). I’m a guarded girl with a high fortress, so I understand completely threading carefully and lightly with everyone. (I’m not a perfect person, and got a lot of skeletons in my closet from trusting the wrong people and school(s), and found myself in situations and circumstances I never thought I’d be in. I never wanted to be in this puked up fur ball of a mess. So I make them skeletons dance. Hey it is what it is. According to some Tik-Toks, us guarded girl’s love is the purest of them all, I wish they stop revealing my secrets, and I wouldn’t take it THAT far lol honestly. Still guarded at the end of the day, no matter how pure and “real” someone thinks I am.)
we didn’t plan to become closed off to the world, but a lot of us were taught that it’s safer to go through difficult seasons alone than to risk being vulnerable with the wrong people.
we learned this lesson the hard way — we asked for help, only to be judged and ridiculed. we poured into people who never truly appreciated us. we didn’t just stumble, we fell flat on our faces — because there was no shoulder left to lean on. we looked around for our support system and saw an empty room.
and as much as we don’t want to hold onto these parts of our stories, how could we ever forget how that felt?
healing is a difficult, frightening process. some days, we feel light. we can feel ourselves letting go of situations that used to trigger us. other days, we feel the weight of every burden that we’ve ever carried bearing down on our shoulders and our spirits. it’s heavy.
we wake up one day and decide that it’s better to be numb than to risk falling off of another emotional cliff. we decide to run from our feelings for another day, because it’s the only way we know how to keep moving. we decide that we’re better off pretending that everything is ok, even when it’s not.
and this is valid. we can’t snap our fingers and become the people we were before the trauma. we can’t pretend to be okay until we are okay. healing takes work. we need a lot of time, space, and grace to walk the path towards restoration and uncompromising self-acceptance. healing isn’t a destination, it’s a lifelong process — and i think we’ll all be better off acknowledging how hard it really is, while choosing to believe that it’s worth the effort.
[tweet screenshot; tweet by michell reads: “sending love to everyone who is carrying their burdens in silence. sending love to everyone who wants to be heard but is afraid to speak. sending love to everyone who’s ever felt alone in a room full of people.”]-Mitchell C. Clark
I’m going to keep re-posting that quote. Thank you to the family and friends that posted that and allowing me to be seen. That describes my situation so deeply.
I’m the person no one wanted for years. I looked for support and friendships in people that wasn’t capable and didn’t want to give it (but ironically gave it to other people quicker). I looked for trust and loyalty and way too many times I was backstabbed and burned. I do have people and friends that I talk to, but that took a long time, and for the most part I consider myself someone that craves my solitude. I make it hard for most people to get in my inner circle-I keep most at arms length because I faced harsh consequences for being vulnerable with the wrong people. There’s some things that even long time friends for over 20+ years don’t know about me.
Mom has always taught me from an early age to not hate/be jealous of people that appear to have something you don’t. I don’t care if you are cuter, smarter, more talented, what not. Appreciate your own gifts and talents, and don’t compare your journey to theirs. It might seem like they got it going on, and get to travel more than you do. Or they get breaks that you don’t. But ultimately I want to impress upon the people who happen to be reading this; hating on someone else doesn’t make your life better. Even though at different periods things haven’t been easy for me, I can look at a person’s vacation photos, rich lifestyles and ultimately be happy for them. If anyone can live a charmed existence and not have to experience the traumas, betrayals and losses I’ve experienced, that’s amazing and best wishes.
In school, I drowned and suffered. I didn’t think life could get that bad. At 20 I was like why did I love this school my whole life again? I didn’t think I could feel so low. Despite this, I was happy for others around me, because who am I to rain on someone else’s parade? Resenting and hating on others will never lead to success. Sometimes it’s just finding someone to talk to. But things got so bad I couldn’t function as a human, and I felt like my dignity just walked out the door. I won’t get into that story here either because it’s a totally different topic, but I knew as early as my 1st semester I made a lot of wrong moves and mistakes.
We can’t control the cards we are given, but you can control how you play your deck. Maybe they do get to travel more than you do. Maybe you do get green with envy when you see your rich friend or family member get to travel to exotic locations like Puerto Vallarta while you are barely making it at home. Maybe you do feel like it’s being thrown in your face, because you work hard, but you never get ahead and they have an expense account. You don’t have a rich uncle that left you an inheritance, and get to retire from their jobs early. And you have to get up at 6 am to work 3 jobs because you are barely making ends meet. Sadly, this is how the cookie crumbles, and for some people, watching someone else’s vacation photos are the closest thing to a vacation they will ever get.
I can’t travel like they do. I’ll do it when I retire.
Don’t compare your journey to theirs. Travel if you have the means. Some of my peeps didn’t make it to age 22. If you can, take a day trip or a two day trip somewhere while you can. Baby steps.
If you live a charmed experience and you are reading this, I hope you never take it for granted, a lot of people won’t get to millionaire status or understand/have what it takes.
On the other hand.
I personally think a major problem is bullying/hating on a rich/wealthy/well-off person because they experience the finer things in life and the people who are dulling out the hate are trying to make up for what they feel they are lacking in….if you find yourself in this position, I’d ask you to reconsider taking out your anger/resentment/jealousy on another human being (this also goes for people who dull out nasty comments on social media, we all know that most people say things behind the computer that you wouldn’t say in real life. ) Wealthy or not, that person is still a person, and bullying anyone, no matter that their status or economic level is is not ok. Find healthier ways to vent, even if it means seeking help. Just because someone has luxury this or luxury that does not entitle you to treat them like shit.
If bad things are happening to you, understand it’s not anyone’s fault. You taking out your frustrations/hurt on a rich/wealthy person that has it going on is not going to make your situation better.
When I’m in the hospital, do I expect people to sit in the waiting room for me at all hours? No. When I’m having hard times in life, do I want others to have a hard time too? No. I want them to live their lives happily. Sure, I would love to travel more, but I’m not going to hate on someone that travels more than I do. Do you get what I’m trying to say here? Treating someone mean because they have something you would like to have? It takes a mindset switch to get out of those thought patterns.
Hurt people hurt people, and in the end, by sending out negative vibes you will reap bad karma. Remember you reap what you sow.
I sorta got off topic. And I’m going to make my point in a minute.
If you can switch your mindset to be happy for others and their successes, you may find more good things happening for you. I know for some that’s easier said than done, but it’s not going to serve you giving out hate. You get what you give. Try not to compare your life to theirs's, and find something to be grateful for in your own life instead of hating on someone else.
To the rich/wealthy/well-off: You have the opposite problem-A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT YOU (and lets be honest for all the wrong reasons for the most part). Organizations will take you if you donate a certain amount of money and put you on their boards. You have so many people flocking to you wanting to be near you/inner circle for your safety and well being I don’t blame you for staying away from most people, even if that means not giving people that may be a good addition to your circle a chance. It takes up too much time and energy trying to figure out who’s real and who’s not, and if you got your circle already, why mess it up? Life is short, and if you have great, trustworthy and loyal friends, that’s a gift.
If you are wealthy/rich/well-off, have an abundant bank account and have your circle set and don’t want to include anyone else, that is your choice and right. You can hang out with whoever you want JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE. And include someone if you want to. The people that complain about not being in your inner circle don’t understand how much YOU have to lose if you have the wrong people in your life (I pointed this out in #7 & #8).
You don’t care about impressing them or fitting in with them because you are not trying to get anything off of them (you already have it). (I could be wrong about this, let me know) but they are doing things directly and indirectly to get things off of you. They care about getting in your wallet the most.
10. The way they do you when you think you got something.
If you are well-off/wealthy/rich or whatnot and happen to be reading this.
I’m sorry if:
- People always expect you to pay.
- You have to keep your guard up around family and friends because you are not sure what their intentions/ulterior motives are. Or, you just flat out stay away because it takes up too much energy to try to rule out who’s real and who’s fake. Deep down you know that if you didn’t have the money/connections/status, they wouldn’t be trying so hard. You know deep down they only like you for what you got, not who you are or your values.
- People borrow money from you and won’t pay it back, because they assume you have a boat load of it and won’t miss it.
- You’re going through a crisis or a set of crises of your own, yet you are not sure who to turn to, because they will say something like YOU ALREADY HAVE MONEY. WHY are you coming to me?
People are so hateful and jealous of you.
People are so secretly envious of people of people who they think have luxury of this or this luxury that. That they think, oh, who care if they are bullied. Who cares if this or that happens to you. Who cares, because guess what? Because you have this and you have that. It’s ok, well that’s what they say. It’s ok. It’s not ok, because you are dealing with a F*** human being. And you think it’s f**** funny? -Nicki Minaj
People usually are guilty of judging things when they have no context or understanding of how much work you did behind closed doors.
They only see the end result. They don’t see the years of struggle, suffering, fear, or agony that you experienced.
I’m sorry if:
- Got burned/nearly financially ruined because you tried to help other people out (some of you I bet rose up from hard circumstances and wanted to pull some people up because you understand what it’s like to be down, or just had hard times despite your position BUT GOT BURNED AGAIN DOING SO. Maybe someone stole money from you or put you in a compromising position. Or you were about to lose it all helping someone. And people get mad at you wondering why you don’t let them in your inner circle. This is me trying to show love to you at a distance, and don’t blame you for keeping your distance and making it hard for people to get in touch with you. (I think airplane mode on a cell phone is one of the best inventions they created. I was told recently that I don’t answer the phone a lot, unless I know who is calling, I don’t. )
- If you can’t reveal who you really are to people around you (for those anonymous millionaires out there) because you know if the people around you knew the wealth you had, they would change.
I don’t blame you because I have deep trust issues (I relate in getting burned so many times, getting used and thrown away like trash can happen at all economic levels). I don’t know what it’s like to lose millions of dollars, but I did lose opportunities for believing people who I thought was in my corner at the time. I trusted the wrong people, just to get burned multiple times. I’m not going to get into it here because that’s a different article. My way of living, finances and dignity was ruined. But I don’t blame you for keeping your circles small if you have your people, and slow to let people in (or if you don’t let anyone else in, I don’t blame you).
Grief isn’t just for the people who’ve left our lives, Alesha.
It can also be grieving over a sense of what we’ve lost like a work position, a career, facing an illness (loss of health), or even changing circumstances or lost opportunities.
Azrael advises that grief is a process and we might still be carrying loss no matter how long ago the other person left our life or the situation changed.
Keep in mind you don’t need to read this article because you are actually living it and being it. You don’t need my advice or writings because you been there, done that and DOING IT. I’m just writing it as a topic and someone who observes human and jealous acting behavior (preferably at a distance nowadays) . You know what you are doing, keep doing you and living your best live(s).
I’ve written other articles:
Hopefully you feel seen at some level. I wrote some of those articles at different periods of my life.
10. You only call them/seek them out when you want something. You never give them anything, you’re only looking to take. You’re always looking to get, but you don’t think about what you can give.
Do you message them to say hey how’s it going? Do things to make them laugh? Do you do things to make them smile? DO you think to yourself, what can I give instead of what I can get?
Do you buy from their businesses? Or are you always hitting them up for free samples? (I’ve opened up businesses before and can be hard keeping them afloat with day to day activities to maintain it. A few of my ventures tanked and failed and it wasn’t pretty. I did have a few that worked. And when it works, it works and feels amazing. Working for someone and running a business is two completely different ball games-you cannot approach a business the same way you approach a job. If I can be supportive and support a fellow entrepreneur I will. I see their success as my success. It’s brutal, and anyone can trailblaze in entrepreneurship good for them. That shit is difficult, but if you can get on the other side kudos.)
Lets try another perspective here.
Would you want your boss to say “hey you’re volunteering” instead of paying you your paycheck at the end of week? That’s how a business owner/entrepreneur feels when you hit them up for free product and services. It costs, they have business expenses too. And if you really want to show your love, throw some money into it, by either donating or buying the products (or a combo of both), especially if you can use the products in your day to day life. Nobody is saying or expecting you to buy from them every week or get their highest priced product all the time. But a little bit here and there I’m pretty sure would be much appreciated.
When you go to Walmart, Target, CVS, you are still supporting them when you buy the product despite the owners being multi-millionaires/billionaires right?
So why do you think your rich friend/family member supposed to hook you up with free products/turn you on to their connects? Do you know how much of a hit they could take from this? Especially if you end up falling through? How much damage it could cause their relationships and what not. More in likely not, because you are only thinking about you, not them.
Despite what you think they have, there’s things you don’t see or understand. They have expenses, wealth tax, TAXES, and other things on their plate.
Or is the only time they hear from you is if you are asking for money or asking them for something? BE HONEST.
10a. When you down bad, you find out who’s really in your corner.
I was someone everyone disappeared on before. I’ve also found that the person that got me the most is the one looking back at me in the mirror.
11. You see them as Central Bank.
No matter how bad it’s gotten, I didn’t hit up any of my wealthy friends or family.
Remember the part where I said I don’t want to be a burden? (I was treated so badly seeking help in many periods of my life that I’m hesitant to ask, even if I was given the green light. I more in likely won’t, and I’ll just vent if they are trustworthy but that’s it….)
It’s not on them to bail you out all the time. (As you can recall I just said this, I don’t like to bother or burden anyways…If you ever see me on Skid Row, keep it moving. I don’t want to burden or bother, and throughout my life I’ve been used to handling things by myself. Keep going and act like you don’t know me, I totally understand. Life has taught me it’s safer to face cruel and difficult seasons by yourself. As you were.)
If I did reach out to them, it was to be a listening ear, like anyone else family or friend. Sometimes I run things by people far removed from the situation to make sure I’m not going crazy. “Like am I crazy for thinking this is crazy?”
It’s one thing if someone offers. But to ask and annoy. And be the typical person asking them for something all the time. Even if you are about to lose everything. I just don’t, unless they told you it’s ok to ask. They are people with feelings just like you.
Imagine if someone only reached out to you and the only conversation was asking you about money.
But Alesha, they have so much and they can afford to share some…with someone less fortunate.
Anddd you’re still missing the point. Re-read #8.
Did you ever borrow money from them and didn’t pay it back because you think their rich and won’t miss it?
But Alesha. They have enough money and can afford to give it to me.
And you’re still missing the point. It’s this way of thinking as to why they stay away from you. Instead of wasting their time trying to explain it to someone that don’t and never will understand, they keep their distance.
They can share.
You are trying to tell someone what to do with money you didn’t earn. It’s not your place to tell anyone how to spend their money.
12. You only see the end result. You don’t see the years of struggle or fear that they experienced.
Everyone wants to be in when things are going well.
Is this same enthusiasm around when things are hard and they just need someone to vent to?
A person is a person, not to be used at your convenience or an ATM machine.
Question. Are you anxious to get as close to other family members and friends that don’t have money? BE HONEST WITH YOUR INTENTIONS. They can indirectly pick this up.
13. They know that you don’t really love them. You just love what they can potentially do for you.
Were you there for them when times got bad? As soon as they lost that job at that prestigious law firm where they had that million dollar payday, were you still as anxious to hang out/associate/talk about you know them? When they could no longer give you tickets to the football games because they got let go, did you still call? Or did you only want to be around them because of their position/status? As soon as they stopped being in a position where they can give you something, did you stop wanting to be around them? As soon as they stopped being that hot shot, did you give them money to help them out despite what you think they have? Did you show up to their apartment/house with wine when they were having one of those weeks?
When their business was struggling, did you try to buy something to support it and keep it afloat? Or did you only want to be around for the glory?
Just somethings to think about.
Here’s my 13 Reasons Why Wealthy People Avoid You. I actually intended to send this out next year, but after sending my draft around, people were like, b**** you gotta publish this now.
I will have another updated one to be published in 2023.
Am I missing something? Let me know.
It’s 2022 🔥🙌
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