13 Therapy Alternatives
As someone who doesn’t trust people and plans on never going to therapy, this list. Thank you Black Girls Can Heal & Hello Jaquasia.
(As usual, I added some of my own)
- Yoga
- Prayer
- Exercise (My personal favorite. )
- Going to vacation spots like this solo. (I solo travel a lot and it’s amazing. I don’t tell anyone.)
5. Going on 30 day meditations in Bali. No talk meditations are also in.
6. Cooking.
7. Cleaning, organizing, decluttering.
8. Laughing with loved ones.
9. Spending time with loved ones.
10. Salt baths.
11. Mediation with apps like Calm.
12. Essential oils
13. Deep stretching.
14. Talking with a loved ones.
15. My personal favorite. Removing yourself from the people/situations/circumstances that makes you consider going to therapy in the first place and puts you in that downward spiral. Coming to a realization that the title of friend that you give to people more in likely deserve the title of acquaintance unless they prove otherwise.
But Alesha I go to Therapy and you should re-consider in the future.
Then as soon as I hear that, I came across this quote by Dr. R. Scott Gornto.
3 Most Common False Beliefs (That I See In My Practice).
- Polarized Thinking-also known as all or nothing or black or white thinking. This thinking pattern has difficulty seeing shades of gray, the complexity of situations and the middle ground.
- Filtering-takes all the negative feelings, thoughts, events, and dwells on them magnifies them while “filtering” all the positive aspects of a situation, resulting in false, distorted thinking.
- Overgeneralization- concluding that if an event happens one time, your brain incorrectly tells you that all future, similar events will have the same negative experience or failure.
Here’s my thing. I’m going to keep reusing this.
Therapy or not. Agree or disagree.
I did not feel safe emotionally or mentally, because opening up to people who are waiting to hear bad things just to kick you down further was the norm. It was a hostile and toxic environment that was allowed to thrive, especially during my teenage years. Gossip, jealousy and backstabbing was the norm. My early years taught me that it’s safer to go through difficult seasons alone than to trust the wrong people (and take my word for it, they were the epitome of mean). The priest in the situation allowed it to happen, because he was more concerned with money, image, getting Pacers and Colts tickets, fronting appearances, and walking on needles to please the money people.
Nowadays, when I see people displaying the same toxic behaviors, I’m like hah, seen this before, these people are not trustworthy, as noted in this article. Trust, forgiveness, and moving on doesn’t necessarily go hand in hand.
Don’t get yourself in a messy situation thinking that forgiveness means you have to trust. It does not. Find people worthy of your trust.
Stay safe. And remember that it’s okay to deny trust to someone who is not worthy of it.
Learn to notice red flags and wisely stay away. In other words, build boundaries that respect your privacy and keep you safe while still letting those you deem trustworthy into your inner circle.
The therapist may describe it as overgeneralization, but I saw people displaying the same behaviors over, and over, and over, and over again for years. I saw schools and events displaying the same behaviors over and over again FOR YEARS. Is it fair to say all people are going to be the same? Of course not. I know not to trust that particular persons/circumstances/situations and not go out into the world thinking everyone is the same way. But clearly, if someone is giving you red flags, signs and aren’t clearly making efforts to change their behavior and is not truly remorseful or sorry, I would be crazy as f*** to keep sticking around and giving someone the keys to run me over with. For my own survival, sanity and self-protection, I did what I had/have to do.
Expect this to be in a future article. This Tik Tok hits close to home, because it’s so true the very first point.
Some friends have told me that therapists are legally not allowed to say anything. After 2020, I not much a believer in therapists or therapy.
But if it works for you, you do you! And I’mma do me.
We are all humans, give them the right circumstances, they can use what you tell them against you in a court of law. Or anywhere. Or against you period.
My rule is:
Don’t tell people things you don’t want the world to know. And when you do decide to be vulnerable and open up, do it within your own timing.
Even a therapist can be called to the stand to testify against you.
I forget where I saw this, but I was reading that this lady got raped and abused as a child by her sister (I promise I’m going to try and find it), and didn’t say anything to her family, her mother, or anyone for years. She’s 90 years old. She wrote in to the blog asking if therapy would still benefit her at this point. She didn’t tell anyone. She’s lived her life and had so many lovely experiences, you wouldn’t even think something like that happened to her. Question.
COULD YOU KEEP QUIET/KEEP A VOW OF SILENCE FOR YEARS LIKE THAT? Or are you the type that would spill the beans at the first sign of blood or when you think it would bring you some benefits? What’s your loyalty like when a person’s back is turned? I’ve literally had people spill a low grade secret just for candy…(and we don’t talk anymore lmfao).
My thing is at the end of the day, I just want the same love that I render.
I keep secrets, and don’t gossip on people. (There’s people that’s known me my whole life, and there’s still some things they don’t know about me.) Because I hope that if I share my vulnerabilities, secrets with trusted people, it’s not used against me. All I can say is if I start to trust you, don’t make me regret it or question it. I don’t make it easily for people to get in my trust circle, but if I do, don’t make me have second thoughts about it.
If you do happen to use therapy….
I found this post on Instagram to be helpful by Dr. Jeff Cohen/sensorystoriesbynicole. Just because I don’t use it doesn’t mean it isn’t helpful to someone else.
5 Different Approaches To Therapy By Jeff Cohen.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)- You identify thoughts and behaviors that you want to change, and the therapist helps you create a plan (using coping skills and other tools) to change those thoughts or behaviors. CBT often emphasizes practical solutions for problems.
Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT)- About accepting our thoughts and feelings, without trying to change them. This type of therapy focuses on helping people do what matters to them in life. Put another way, ACT helps us get out of our head and into our life.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy-(DBT)-Incorporates a dialectical worldview which means two opposite ideas can be true at the same time. DBT balances the acceptance of ourselves where we are, while also changing what we want to change to build the life we want to be living.
Interpersonal Therapy- Draws connections between your mood and relationships to underlying interpersonal issues. These issues could be adjustment difficulties in social or personal roles, complicated grief and problems relating to others.
Psychoanalysis- Developed by Freud, this approach focuses on “changing problematic behaviors, feelings and thoughts by discovering their unconscious meanings and motivations” (APA). In pop culture, this is the couch therapy, where a patient is lying on a couch and talking.
I saw a guy on CBS THIS Morning have 7 therapists (each for different things). And he visits 3 times a week.
It’s 2022 at the time of this writing, but by the time you read it, it will be 2023. I had to write a ton of content ahead of time to stay consistent despite what’s happening. 🔥🙌
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