First Written On a Cold January 28th, 2019.
I cannot begin to count the number of times someone has approached me and said something like, “You are living my dream” or “Man, you are so lucky.” Although I know they mean well, I want to look them straight in the eye and emphatically tell them, “Luck has nothing to do with it!”
Your life is a result of the choices you make, of course — from things like your waistline to your bank account to your relationships. We are all creatures of habit, and the problem is that most people don’t have the life they want because of the habits they maintain daily.
Enter: The Challenge.- Wayne Hoover in Lexington, KY
As my time in my 20’s is coming to a close in a year or so (I have a little bit more time to say 20 and 30 something before I can drop the 20 something and just say 30 something!) I’ve had several big transformations. From my teens into my 20’s was cool. I didn’t feel much. But.
If you see someone in a Royal Royce, do you say.
“I can’t afford that.” That person is lucky.” They are a snob.
Or do you say.
“How can I afford this.” That person worked hard and deserves everything they get.”
Me personally? My responses that swirled around in my head for years.
“What is this person’s story? What did this person go through to get where they are today? What can I learn from this person?”
“Yes I can afford that. That’s amazing. What business(es) do I need to create to get a couple more of those?”
I was never a jealous type.
Question 2: Can you see yourself as successful before you are successful? Can you imagine yourself and be happy as if you were actually wealthy right now?
Challenge: The next time you see a person of wealth coming out of a mansion or I want you to visualize being wealthy INSTEAD of being jealous or envious.
Act like being wealthy is your current state of reality. How would you act? What would you be doing? What charities would you give back to?
Come back to where you currently are. How can you get to what you just visualized?
It’s like starting at the 1st level at the elevator, even though you were just at the top floor. You were just there and can go back immediately, just climb the stairs.
Those very steps are how I personally moved from very weird college situations. Basically I noticed a lot of cut throating, people labeling and stereotyping me. The travels and parties were fun but geez is it worth the student loan people coming after you for the rest of your life? And you getting 40,000 a year for a 200,000 degree? Nope.
I wrote about it here:
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I exercise, visualize and work on projects daily.
(I have different folders of people in my mind. If you were a toxic person, I wish you well but stay away. I’m writing a article about that later).
Millionaire Mindset #1 I just saw the Range Rover. I’m happy for that person and I can do the same thing myself. I can afford anything I want. I want it, I get it. I buy it.
Often when people “hate” someone I find they are jealous. Or they said something that hit a nerve and it made them aware of something in themself.- Christine Maier
I realized after a few business and acting experiences that quite a few people from school was hindering my success. Long story cut short. Every reason they could come up with from to keep me from leading a organization it happened.
If you are being overlooked at a job for a promotion, (and a person got promoted and they are doing less work than you), someone won’t elect you as president in some organization because of popularity contests or politics or if you are in a doggy situation. Basically if you are around cut throats and backstabbers. DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF. Sometimes people around you see something in you and they try to sabotage you to make them feel better about themselves.
It turns around and it gets better.
I don’t keep re-writing these things to keep reopening wounds.
I remember these things to tell people my story and to remind people to not let people stop you living life. I have people ask me all the time. I’m brutally honest.
- Whoa how did you do everything so fast?
- You’re a accomplished 20 something
- You’re loaded with money…
I get sent messages like this on LinkedIn on a weekly basis. And I don’t take it for granted. I went from getting treated like a piece of shit in school to being sought out for many different things. I wrote about them in the past few articles. It turns around and it gets better.
Repeated three times on purpose. If you are not being treated nice, being rolled over for a job promotion or if you are in a rough spot, it can get better, I promise. If you read enough of my stories in school, I was treated like shit. People in my city overlook me often. Guess what? This is ok because I don’t crave the attention and I get messages from all around the world now.
I get booked consistently for acting gigs. I don’t take it for granted.
I have so many collaborations and features for music when I removed myself from Indianapolis.
People who are wealthier than me reach out to me. Entertainment people, celebs and grammy winners you see on television have reached out. I never reveal my contacts, brag or name drop because I post silly food photos instead. And people, celebrities and people of wealth are normal people who take a crap like you and I do. They just worked to get where they are.
It’s not always about money. Money itself is energy and neutral. Money buys you freedom. Money is peace of mind. Money allows you to have experiences.
And I have to remind them that it wasn’t easy and it still isn’t easy. And no I’m not going to make a post about receiving residual income every time I receive a check in the mail. Some people like to be center of attention and tell everyone they have dough. I’m the opposite. I like my solitude.
(The tables can turn for you. Keep believing!)
I just saw that I was being punished by both my organizations and school for losing friends. Remember I mentioned in a article that people don’t care about your problems, they only want you to solve theirs. They wanted rush t-shirts, or for you to show up to a project. They don’t care about how you are feeling.
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I did the best I could in multiple bad situations. I saw that my best wasn’t enough or appreciated.
Secondly, my mistakes were used against me. It was ok for other folks or people in the clique to make mistakes.
Watch this video.
One of my learning styles is making mistakes like the cook said, and to actually “do it.” Make mistakes while doing it. And if I have to, redo it a few times.
I didn’t think it was fair to be punished or someone trying to hold you back over your natural learning style.
And you know that feeling when you are at work or at school and you’re getting screwed over.
It was a no win situation and I saw the writing on the wall.
In these and other scenarios, I saw first hand how competitive some 20’s something’s can be. How far some of them would go to get attention, power and status. I was around people who thought:
“If the spotlight is on her, that means there will not be enough room for me.”
Sometimes people don’t want to see you do well because it will make them feel bad about themselves. Or the famous I can’t do that so why are they trying to do it?
If you check out this video, Trenius Henderson will tell you that some people start to feel small because of your successes. When they come around you, they can’t keep up or compare.
Which is a hater way of thinking because I mentioned in many articles this: there’s enough room at the table for everyone to be successful.
I make several mistakes in business because of a learning curve. I’m realizing more and more how they did things wasn’t cool! My capacity wasn’t being used then, but it’s sure in the hell being used now. They should be ashamed of themselves for trying to discourage me. It was jealously at it’s finest. I can be what I put my mind to.
#3 Do you sit there in the situation and hope it gets better? Or do you stop letting people treat you like shit and do everything you set out to do?
Question #4 Have you ever had a situation where you lost more by continuing something instead of stopping? What did you do about it?
It’s up to you what you do here. I realized quickly that I was being taken for granted and I left. Sometimes you have to be a star player somewhere else.
How do I know this? Because it happened to me personally. As soon as I left school and started my own companies, I took my power back. The people who said I couldn’t be a president? They started adding me on LinkedIn trying to hop on my bandwagon. They want a piece of the pie but tried to kick me down on the way there. Doggy dog world. I knew I was going to be the co-founder of million dollar companies. I knew I would be an actress and musician before it happened. Do not let people tell you what you can and can’t do. Do not let people’s jealously keep you pursuing your life, because sometimes people see things in you that they wish they had in themselves. By trying to sabotage you, it makes them feel better, and they hope to keep you down in the dumps like they are. And remember that success is the best revenge.
Millionaire Mindset #2 Do not let people tell you what you can and can’t do. And remember that success is the best revenge.
“Why do you want to move all the time?
I never liked sitting at home all day especially after having a surgery. Time is something you don’t get back and I always want to make the most of it. At the time (and still happens to this day) I said: No days off until.
How long do I keep creating businesses? Until.
How long. Until.
I stopped explaining. In order to be successful in entrepreneurship, you have to make decisions that others see as different or illogical.
“WHY DON’T YOU WANT TO STAY HOME” They say.
I like spending my time in the library on my off film days to read or to come up with song lyrics. I can read and get 100s of years of knowledge from people during my time and before my time. I can’t meet Napoleon Hill. Or Albert Einstein (and hell if you know a way for us to have a meet and greet with Hill or Einstein let me know lol)
But I can absorb their knowledge through the books and stories they left behind. I can make the learning curve easier for me.
I don’t know about people reading this article, but when I get out of the house my productivity goes WAY up. When I change spaces, my energy changes. Journaling is easier. When I’m at home the temptation to watch TV is high. I have journaled at home but I promise I write more in the library.
I do have the discipline to say I need to get these things done today regardless of what others say. For example, nobody puts a gun behind my head to make me workout everyday. It’s so engrained in me that it’s my routine.
Rain, snow, cold. I prefer the weather to be warmer but whatever. The work gotta get done.
Do you have the fortitude to push full speed ahead when people talk shit? Do you have the guts to be yourself in a world that’s always trying to change you? Or do you let their shit turn you into what they want you to be?
I usually ask these questions to people in my life.
Question #5 “If you are so smart, why aren’t you happy?” And you did everything that people in society want you to do. You went to school, got good grades, graduated, got married, got the white picket fence yada yada yada.
You are basically what society says is success. So if you are in this current position and did what everyone else wanted to do then: (drumroll please)
Question #6 “Why haven’t you figured it out yet?”.
I’m not trying to be an a**hole. I don’t talk about financial freedom my friends or family I went to school yet because most of them don’t get it. The entrepreneurship topics that I write about? They are not my tribe and I just don’t go there. When I see them we just hang out and I’ll say the usual “How’s it going” question.
But getting back to the original point:
Don’t forget who you were before the world told you how to be.
Millionaire Mindset #3: I’m Teflon. Comments that sideline most will roll off me. I’m living a life most don’t because I do what most won’t. Remember they wouldn’t bother you if you were nothing.
BONUS Millionaire Mindset #4:
EXPERIMENT. Next time you see a family member or friend. Ask them that you need some money and that you are a little short.
- Be honest with you and say no I don’t have it or don’t want to give it to you.
- DO they start acting awkwardly and start avoiding you?
It would be nice to have a supportive shoulder. I sometimes want to ask for more help than I do, but ultimately decided to help myself. One of the reasons why I wanted to improve financially because I asked before. And got burned. Was told that “oh we will be here for you just to have people flake out. College said you are a minority, we will be here for you. The ones who were the first to say “we are gonna be there for you every step of the way” were also the first to leave.
For the most part, I find if people can’t use you they don’t want to be bothered with you. It would be nice if people liked you for you instead of what you have. But we don’t live in the perfect world. Wealth works on human’s most primal desire for life to be easy. When you see cars, houses, the life, it appears easy. Instead of trying to build wealth for themselves, have you ever noticed many will try to hop on the bandwagon?
When you have your own, you got options.
Money isn’t everything, you should not optimize your life for financial net worth.
BUT money is the root problem for you not being able to achieve the highest lifestyle net worth.
Financial problems are one of the biggest reasons for divorce…
People are so stressed and focused on making money they neglect their health…
Some of the best experiences in life require money…
But if you didn’t have to worry about money…
You and your family wouldn’t have worry about bills every month…
You’ll have less stress and more freedom to take care of your health…
You can go anywhere and do anything you want, whenever you want…
So, yes. Money isn’t everything, but you need to know how to make money. To use it as fuel to maximize the other aspects of your life.-Tai Lopez
As a Catholic school girl, I can tell you hours and hours of stories of how the money people had so much power and ran the church. I can tell you stories about how the Catholic church somewhat caused a rift in my family.
As Access Live Plugged In on their St. Patrick’s Day (Access Hollywood Live Season 9 Episode 121) episode pointed out, when you are a celebrity or super wealthy, you can do things that “broke” people can’t and don’t have access to.
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What am I supposed to tell my daughter who has straight As who’s classmate has rich parents? Who was able to pay their way into Yale when they don’t have half the qualifications my daughter has?
(It wasn’t exactly like this but you get the general mode of the conversation).
Life isn’t fair unless you have money. Tell your daughter that life isn’t fair. But what’s meant for her will come to her in this life.
I legit respected how honest that dialogue was. That’s why the Varsity Blues sandal exist. People have been paying their way into better schools for their kids for years. You paid the 500,000 or more to have your name on that college building? Hell yeah your kids are getting in that college. People involved in that scandal took it too far. By saying they played sports they never played.
Jessie Smollett got off easy by getting all of his charges dropped.
Why do you think so many people want to be wealthy, celebrities or front appearances to look rich? It’s access to the lifestyle. It’s control and power. It’s getting access to political favors and having the option to pay your way out of jail. Just keeping it real.
BONUS Millionaire Mindset #5: GIVE (Thought of this on my Granny’s Birthday, RIP)
Instead of trying to just hang out with someone just to see what you can get, and climb someone else’s curtain (OMG SHE’S FAMOUS AND CAN GET VIEWS ON MY YOUTUBE VIDEO IF I COLLAB WITH HER) see what you can give.
You’ll know someone is a giver when they genuinely help you without asking for anything in return. And they are truly, genuinely, happy for the success they help you have.- Benjamin Hardy
I have a group of people (I’m not name dropping because they are human and take craps just like you and I do) who I’ve gotten on Huffington, Forbes, Yada. I’m heavily connected more than I like to say.
I haven’t asked them any favors. If they offer that’s fine. If I want to meet that celebrity? I’ll make my own way (and I’ve done it already)
“Oh I see that you are friends with so and so and you represent this client who dances for this celebrity. Can you put me on….”
No. No. No.
Many people would do something just to get something out of it. Or the intention of getting something out of it. Or name drop a name to gain favor or advantage. I’ve seen this in my family and it’s not cool. Buy the tickets, but don’t try to name drop to get them free….
I had people tell me:
“well I am friends with this celebrity person.”
That’s cool. But I’m interested in getting to know you as a person. What were your dreams growing up as a kid? What do you want your legacy to be?
Deep provoking questions to connect with someone. Do not use people for their connections. If I’m meant to meet that celebrity, I will and have done so on my own terms.
I wrote about it a little bit here too.
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You’ve spent your valuable time painting this art, and yet even your own friends and family won’t stand by your side?
Many people would do something just to get something out of it. Or the intention of getting something out of it. Or name drop a name to gain favor or advantage. I wrote this twice on purpose.
DO NOT DO THIS.
Instead of expecting something in return, give just to be nice.
Many people want to be around someone only because they have something they want. This may be fame, glory, wealth or power. Again, if they can’t use you in some way they don’t want to be bothered.
Be the exception. Don’t be a user.
If your intentions are good, the universe and God will take care you.
Bonus Millionaire Mindset #6
We live in a generation where if you don’t flaunt your blessings, they think you lack them.
I’m not going to make a post every single time or make a tweet of every residual check. I do notice a lot of my peers make statuses all the time of what they are doing. Including going to the grocery store…..
“loook at what I’m doing…”
“LOOK AT the music I just released.”
I see the statuses all the time.
I posted these pictures for the purpose of the article. Acting, music and business takes me a lot of different places and I’m happy to experience it. But my friends on Facebook and Twitter will tell you that I didn’t talk about it at all or posted about it way later.
When you are living it, you don’t have to overly show off. In my other article, I point out that the wealthy rarely show off their wealth. You won’t see them bragging about themselves on the social web, and they truly enjoy helping other people.
I’m not going to post what I’m doing every minute of every day. Living, breathing it, and experiencing it is a blessing. By no means am I Jeff Bezos wealthy (yet) but I work on it everyday in different ways!
I will sometimes to keep my friends updated, but sometimes the statuses go way overboard. Does everybody have to know that you went to the grocery store as a status on Facebook? Do good, and if the world is meant to know, they will find out.
Millionaire Mindset #7 (April Fools Day Edition): Learning how to earn money in your sleep. Literally.
The lowest level that you never want to be is Debt. This is worse than having no money and being broke. You actually OWE money.
Then you have Scarcity, which is where most people in the world live. This is where people are holding on to their money for their life and are money doesn’t come easily to them. Most people here are salary slaves or business owners who are stubborn and don’t invest in themselves.
Next, you have Health and Prosperity, which is where money is no longer a problem. You have enough money to live and some funds to spend wherever you want to. You can live the lifestyle you’ve always wanted to live. Everyone should strive to be here in order to be happy.
Then comes Wealth and Impact. People who are at this level use their money as investments into the world and have a profound impact on the world. Think Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs… the list goes on. This is the peak of the pyramid and obviously, as you go up the pyramid, the fewer people there are.
Everyone must move up the pyramid or else you can get stuck or stagnant.
What are you doing in order to get to the next step? Are you working your way to Health and Prosperity? Or maybe dipping into Wealth and Impact?-Tai Lopez
We are not taught in schools how to build wealth in this manner. If you can get a tribe to support you and your work, the possibilities are endless.
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Hello There! I’m Alesha! I’ve been involved in different businesses in several different capacities from being ceo, coo, co-founder, and more. I’ve learned so much from creating businesses, and I look forward to all the learning experiences I will have from starting new ventures. 2019 I’m excited to announce that I’m going to add more businesses to my portfolio. STAY TUNED! I’m going to introduce them sometime next year!
With one business I was involved with, we made it possible to install a little device with customized hardware and a SaaS solution implemented to the router, the business owner was able see live data about social media info collected.
With another company, we had professional internet marketing company that focus on digital marketing campaigns, services and jobs such as SEO, PPC, Online Reputation Management, and social media marketing.
With EYT, I oversaw day-to-day operations and keeping the CEO apprised of significant events;Yes I actually talk with my business partner on a daily basis. I created operations strategy and policies; Communicated strategy and policy to employees and interns; Fostering employee alignment with corporate goals; and overseeing human resource management. I also delegated tasks to my team.
With Bones’ Custom Guitar. We created custom guitars for musicians with imported wood. No one Bones’ guitar is the same.
The Wish Benefit Concert is a concert founded by Ayana Carter, Mel Sexton and Alesha Peterson. It’s privately held at Riley Hospital For Children.