30 More Things I Learned Before Turning 30

1. I love martial arts. Self-discipline has been the reason why I’m consistent with my workouts, and stick with both business and entertainment when it gets tough. I do things when I don’t feel like it, and I give some credit of this trait to martial arts. I like business & entertainment when it’s good, bad and downright ugly.
2. If I worked at it, I could have been a professional video gamer. I won plenty of video game tournaments. When I have a hour I usually play N64, Gameboy color, and Gamecube games. Legend of Zelda, Super Mario 64, and Super Smash Brothers brings back great memories. Don’t laugh at these professionals aka gamers. They take home serious paychecks and endorsement deals like NBA players. Probably not 300 mil but the check is descent. I heard they get living arrangements and free travel too. I want a one way ticket to Legend of Zelda, Wind Waker Outset Island. ❤
3. I like to draw. I have plenty of paintings, sketches and doodles.
4. I love the popcorn and butter at movie theaters. Omg.
5. Fries: McDonald’s fries are first place. Five Guys fries are second. Arby’s curly fries & potato cakes third. Pizza: Favorite commercial places: Donatoes, Pizza Hut, Papa Murphy’s, Noble Romans (IF I CAN FIND THEM), Lil Caesars, Giodanous, Store Pizzas: Costco’s, Local: Mama June’s, Uno, Dos, List subject to change the more places I discover.
6. I have to remind everyone that I’m not an angel, saint, doormat or perfect. Hell probably wouldn’t make the cut in the canonization process either haha. In part 1, I mentioned that once a person breaks my trust, it’s hard to trust them again. I give A LOT of chances (hell I mess up and make plenty of mistakes so I give that same love back). When I realize a person isn’t going to change and they are too toxic, I let them go. In several instances, I put my foot down and said enough is enough, I’m not a door mat and I’m going to leave these people alone. When shit hits the fan and they realize I wasn’t playing this is when everybody and their momma said “give them a second chance” and “you would be a great influence on them”. Basically they thought they were going to ease their way back in by getting mutual friends to talk to me on their behalf. I find it interesting that people over the years wanted me to take other people’s shit, and came down on me hard for washing my hands of the situation. “But they were going through a hard time” was often stated to me. Everyone goes through hard shit, yet that’s not a reason to treat others mean. Yet they didn’t have the balls to confront the person causing the issues. Handle your mess without taking it out on others. Number 2: If you make a mistake, clean up your own mess and don’t get others to do it for you. Just for the record I don’t expect closure or an apology. I just stay away from them.
7. Sometimes people are stupid as f*** & let their perceptions make the call. You will be amazed how many times an account got deleted because I “look”16. Someone thinks you are a minor so we took the report seriously. Um. hello. You are going by what someone thinks, not what is actually real? Wow. Sometimes people take things at face-value without drawing their own conclusions and INVESTIGATING. Yes. I take care of my skin, keep stressful things and people out of my life, and I live life on my own terms, thank you very much. I have a baby face but I’m not stupid. To assume things is equally as bad. I have saved more tip money from servers being asses towards me and then saying sorry countless times (more money for me to invest no biggie). Don’t underestimate, judge or over look someone because of what you think they look like.
8. No one defended me or took my side a lot of times growing up and nowadays like I told you in #3 so I became my own hero. At least Meghan Markle has friends that will stick up for her, I would love it if I had that in my younger days. And today would be nice. Instead of waiting for Facebook or people on Facebook to acknowledge your birthday, celebrate your own birthday anyways!
9. Instead of waiting for Facebook or people on Facebook to acknowledge your birthday, celebrate your own birthday anyways! Celebrate your own accomplishments. Mentioned twice for a reason. Don’t use social media to validate your self worth. I noticed over the years that mutual friends encouraged others but never encouraged me. It’s nice to get support from others but it’s not needed or required. This is why it’s best for you to support and get your atta boys and atta girls from the inside first. That way you are not expecting or looking for something others don’t want or have the capacity to give.
10. Sometimes people get a kick out of seeing someone do worst than them. It makes them feel better about their current situation. This is why some people don’t help even though they could. They don’t care and they happy to see you there.
11. This happened a little bit before I published part 1. I ran into a relative of someone I went to school with. This toxic person is someone I don’t deal with AT ALL. He said “Alesha?” How does he know my name despite us never meeting personally? I found out through the grapevine that streets are talking. Despite me blocking them on social media and re-locating outside the state most of the year, they are still playing the same games like they did in school trying to keep up with what I’m doing by looking at my page through other’s Facebook accounts. Years later, there’s still a debate on who’s hair is longer than who’s, and who is hotter than who. Jesus, some of your humans are very odd sometimes. They supposely say people change, grow up as adults and realize the error of their ways. Some people don’t ever change. And damn it get a life. It doesn’t make sense to keep up with someone like this.
12. Keep back ups of everything, including posts on Medium. I’ve had wayyy too many things delete on me. Trust is at an all time low for me.
13. I’m heavily guarded. I’ve had way too many jealous people backstab me, and people say they will be there just to find out later that’s a lie. I take my time with people. I put my walls up just to see who cares enough to break them down. It won’t be 20 years before I open up to you, but it will be a while.
14. I’m a great listener and I keep secrets. I’m not the best of displaying my feelings at times. I’m careful about being vulnerable because I’ve been back stabbed so much. I make a great sound board. I might not be able to fix it, but I can be there to shut up and listen. (I will get help if your secret involves harming yourself.)
15. Airplane mode is a peace mode that I found on my phone. I refuse to let anyone take me out of my peace.
16. I love whipping topping on my cake. Oh my lawdz!
17. If I ever win the lottery, I’m not telling anyone. And NO.
18. First celebrity crush: Mulculay Culkin. My mom said at 1 I hit that television when I saw him on it.
19. Other notable hotties: Shawn Mendez, Paul Ryan, Jesse Williams, Cary Grant and James Dean (Jesus I need a time machine, these last two are before my time!)
20. There’s going to be times when you are not successful, as this John P. Weiss article points out. If you read enough of my school articles, I was chewed up and thrown to the wolves many times. (I didn’t let it effect my self esteem. I always believed in myself I started questioning who I was around, I left and things turned around). Regardless of your status, treat people the way you want to be treated. It’s not the amount of dough in your bank, how you treat others count. Hating on people more successful than you makes your situation worst and if you are a big wig treating people like shit it will catch up with you.
21. The one thing I won’t miss about my twenties is losing so many friends. To attend so many 19, 20, 21, 22 something funerals scares me. I saw this quote on YouTube that said why do so many good people die? And the mom responded: when you go to the garden, which flowers do you pick? The good ones. Have you ever noticed the good ones in your life left too soon? Or is it me?

Rosetube you are on one. Boop Boop I said that to some Indianapolis labels until they started getting creepy looking for girlfriends like it was the Bachelorette. I ran for the hills and never looked back. Not sorry!

21. Because I attended so many funerals, cemeteries scare me. My family members keep taking me over to cemeteries. I don’t like it and I really need space from them. I’m in the age group where it creeps me out to go on cemetery tours.

22. Another thing. Things will happen and you have no control over it. My bank account got hacked around the time I had medical issues. (I got a tumor too, I named her after food.) Now they don’t want me as a customer for a while. I have friends at Chase that told me you’re not an evil person. (Hell at least we can go out for drinks afterwards!) Like my tumor, it just happened to you. Bad things happen to good people. I had a friend pass away in a traumatic way, and he was always nice to be in church, we bonded over a retreat. Next thing I knew he was gone. (God really picked up a good flower there) If you have the resources, get you the best legal council and advocates that money can buy.

22 a. So about taking responsibility for all the bad things that happen in your life, as suggested by Terry Crews during the view or by many of the motivational quotes I see. I agree sometimes. But tell that to someone who lost their kid to cancer, suicide or murder. Tell that to a parent who’s kid passed away during a school shooting. When the Manchester bombing happened, it wasn’t Ariana’s fault. There’s genuine circumstances that are tragic and no matter what you did or didn’t do it’s not your fault.

23. Doris Day might have a point when it comes to creating a foundation for animals. I think I’ll follow in her footsteps, and put animals in my will. People can be a trip.

24. I sometimes get paid to eat food. I’m a taste tester. I can also be a great Godmother to cats, dogs and other animals. I missed my calling to be a dog singer. Wait. I sing to my dog personally. I might be able to jump on that ship. Other jobs I thought I wanted to be growing up: basketball player, veterinarian, architect, storm chaser (twister movie is the shit!), and video gamer!

25. I’ve learned to give gifts without expecting nothing in return. No thank you cards or acknowledgement. When you have no expectations feelings don’t get hurt & you don’t take things personally; Not being attached to a certain outcome makes life happier.

26. I’m stubborn. When I have an idea I will see it through to see if it works out or not.

27. When your friends get married, be prepared to become the honorary third wheel. Don’t take it personal, but their spouses will come before you. (If you are lucky, you will on call for Godparent duty, but avoid questions about kids unless they bring it up to you first, they will get enough pressure from the world).

27a. I don’t mind being left off the invite list. It would be nice to be apart of your day but I also understand if you can’t or don’t want to. It’s a decision I made a while ago to have peace of mind. I notice a lot of my friends are getting married and engaged and have to make hard decisions on who to cut. Let me make that easier on you and exclude myself. We can do something later ha.

28. Some of the worst people I’ve met in my life are in a church. Ironically these godly, self righteous, child of God people are the first to yell “I’m a Christian” off the top of their lungs. If you are a Christian, show it instead of overly bragging. If someone keeps repeating they are a Christian, alarm bells start to go off in my head. An aunt told me the church is like a hospital, people go there to get help. Based on my treatment at different periods, it’s a hospital I want to avoid most of the time. Shit. Germs run rampant in these “hospitals” especially when you take up communion and shares the same wine cup during a cold/flu season. I have so many stories from my Catholic church that it’s ridiculous.

29. I write a lot and I make a lotta mistakes in my articles. I rather write and be consistent than be afraid to make a mistake or two.

30. Instead of aspiring to be like someone else, I hope you are ok with being yourself.

31. According to my Astrology readings, long story cut short I should trust people less and depend on myself more. That’s no problem. I made a mistake as a 18 year old. No I don’t trust easily and that probably won’t change.

32. There’s no such thing as a best friend forever. You shouldn’t have one person be your sun or everything anyways. Even if someone offers to carry your burdens, it’s unfair to put all that weight on one person.

33. I create startups, I create characters in acting, and I create music. I see how people talk about my rich relatives thinking that they are supposed to share their money. My mother says I don’t brag enough. (Look on my LinkedIn I guess?) I rather be overlooked person that’s always mistakened for being a teenager (team Babyface) and live in peace then be hunted down like a bank. (It’s ok for them to think I don’t have anything, it’s a part of my plan to say low profile). I’ve made peace with the idea of not marrying or having kids. Every guy up to this point do not understand my creative ventures and don’t deal with the idea of non-traditional roles too well. I’m not as hard core as Elon Musk (because I do take time off to socialize) but I’m walking in that direction.

34. When you have nice things, you catch it from people. Don’t be afraid to give them a piece of your mind. If they want things, work. They have no earthly idea what you been through to get where they are.

35. I’m growing my hair out back. I’m convinced that college f**** with my mental health more than I’ll ever admit. After my friends passed away from suicide, I noticed my hair started breaking out. The tumor, the surgeries, and medicine that felt like I took 20 shots didn’t help. I would personally appreciate it if you wouldn’t touch my hair if you see me in public. Despite all the staring I get, it’s real. Discovering my multicultural roots the older I get, I realize why I caught it from some of my black peeps growing up. And I’m spending 100s of 1000s of dollars to get my hair back to a descent length. If I wear weave, extensions, or fake hair for an acting gig I’ll tell you. Or if I wanna be 21 for a night and put an extension to explore my wild side, I’ll tell you it’s fake. (There’s no need to stare like you haven’t seen a black person with long hair before. It doesn’t apply to the people reading, this is the awkward conversation that I’ve had to address with many.)

Speaking of that.

36. What you see is what you get with me. I plane jane it most of the time because the only person I’m trying to impress is myself. I’m transparent with you. I know some of the things I say in my writings can be harsh, but I’m a straight shooter.

Call To Action

If you like what you’ve read, please recommend it so others can read it as well. Please tell me what you want me to write about here!

Interested in having my Medium stories sent to your inbox? Sign up here!

Hello There! I’m Alesha! I’ve been involved in different businesses in several different capacities from being ceo, coo, co-founder, and more. I’ve learned so much from creating businesses, and I look forward to all the learning experiences I will have from starting new ventures. 2019 I’m excited to announce that I’m going to add more businesses to my portfolio. STAY TUNED! I’m going to introduce them sometime next year!

With one business I was involved with, we made it possible to install a little device with customized hardware and a SaaS solution implemented to the router, the business owner was able see live data about social media info collected.

With another company, we had professional internet marketing company that focus on digital marketing campaigns, services and jobs such as SEO, PPC, Online Reputation Management, and social media marketing.

With EYT, I oversaw day-to-day operations and keeping the CEO apprised of significant events;Yes I actually talk with my business partner on a daily basis. I created operations strategy and policies; Communicated strategy and policy to employees and interns; Fostering employee alignment with corporate goals; and overseeing human resource management. I also delegated tasks to my team.

With Bones’ Custom Guitar. We created custom guitars for musicians with imported wood. No one Bones’ guitar is the same.

The Wish Benefit Concert is a concert founded by Ayana Carter, Mel Sexton and Alesha Peterson. It’s privately held at Riley Hospital For Children.