A Post Asking For Advice From Solo Females Who Live In Large Cities
This came up in a group recently.
Asking for advice from solo females who live in large cities & take public transportation or those working in public safety. Can take this down if not appropriate.
Have lived in NYC for many years and on every. other. subway ride (& some bus rides) I’ve realized men recording me on their phone or clearly staring (sometimes with a buldge in theirs pants).
It’s usually 10–20 minutes into a ride & I get that heeby-jeeby feeling and continually look up from my phone or book & notice a dude quickly looking away, or frozen pretending to stare above my head. I have photos from the summer of men (old & young regular people) that are clearly just *riding around (sweaters during the middle of of summer?),* eyeing who gets on, phone clearly aimed at people.
One young guy, who came on near Times Square and quickly walked to stand in front of me, aimed his phone over my toes
(I quickly got up from my seat to stand at the other end of the car). I’ve given up my seat on long rides. Switched cars only to run into another man, clearly hiding himself & hands behind some laptop bag, standing there staring. (these are just 1 of Many different instances over the years)
I’ve crossed my arms and made an angry face, staring at a point above other men’s head, sometimes mumbling to myself to make them think I’m crazy
, they get off at the next stop. I’ve held books and newspapers up over my face for the last 10–20 minutes of my rides (arms get so tired).
TIRED OF THIS! I want to wear a laminated sign with:
RESPECT WOMEN
MIND YOUR BUSINESS
Also want to hang one from my beach umbrella — tired of that too.
I know this wouldn’t be a safe solution, I don’t know what to do at this point. Even asked a female police officer at one subway station (she just said, call 911 and let them know which next few stations you’re approaching, especially with lewd behavior). When asking my neighborhood FB group, they took the post down..
I know legally people have a right to record and take photos in public, but damn. Respect your mothers, aunts, grandmothers, daughters, sisters, nieces, women in your own lives!-Op
Here’s my original answer.
Following and actually reading all the comments here. Because honestly, I don’t know an answer, because I’ve dealt with that my whole life (like a lot of other people I know). I’m also following because I use public transportation as an ambassador but I do want to live in NYC part time one day. I’m the only child, I keep people at arms length, I’m very selective on who I let in my life. And want people to mostly leave me alone-I’ve been going through a period of cutting a lot of people out and purging my past. When I read OP’s story, I felt this
I’m watching my Chiefs get smashed by the Eagles. Raincheck me.
