Are Things One Sided?

Even if things are one sided, make sure your intentions are pure and genuine.

Thank you Al Baner.

Reflection: When you look at your relationships, are most of them one sided or mutual? When you check your motives, why are you doing what you’re doing?

According to Al, what he has discovered that most of our relationships have a direct correlation to our relationship with God/(your higher power).

Homework Assignment (I’ll do it again): Spend some time with God/your higher power/your belief system and revisit some relationships you have. Ensure that even if things are one sided, you made sure you at least did YOUR PART & out of love.

You’re responsible for your part.

11/4/2024 update:

I’m going to republish this in another article.

Jennifer Glantz, owner of Bridesmaid For Hire came up with an amazing list for a friendship inventory. I will be doing this yearly. (Thanks to this collective, and being hired for more acting/music gigs I have no more desire to be apart of weddings or being a “bridesmaid.” After running in this and several circles, I’ve been in a lot of weddings that I’m good. I’ve scratched the itch. I do have a popular group of series of articles and videos on what to do if you are not invited to weddings if you are interested thought!

Here’s what I do:

1. I write a list of everyone I consider a friend. These are people I feel I have a relationship with. People I care about and who have made an effort to show they care about me.
2. I write a score next to the person’s name, from 1–5. This score represents how good of a friend I think I’ve been to them this year. Did I reach out to say hello? Did I make an effort to see them or talk to them? Did I go above and beyond for them? Did I make them feel loved, supported, respected, and heard? There aren’t a lot of 5's…there are so many 3's.
3. Then I give myself feedback. How could I have been better to that person? Do I want to continue to nurture this friendship? Is there anything I did wrong to them this year? And so much more. It’s usually 3–4 sentences per person.
4. On the other side of the paper, I write down what kind of friend they’ve been to me in the past year. Did they make an effort? Did they show that they wanted to still be my friend? Then I also remember that everyone — every single person — has a myriad of internal struggles we don’t always know about. So before I get down about a person or our friendship, I think about that and I think about what I can do to reach out to them and show them love, make an effort, attempt to repair the friendship — etc.
5. To close out the inventory, I write 1–2 actions I can take, per person, to be a better friend to them.

I know this inventory might sound weird or odd — or even just a lot to do. But friendship doesn’t always have as clear rules or boundaries as a romantic relationship often does.

We don’t always express to our friends how much they mean to us. We don’t always know the right way to end a friendship, so we end it all wrong.

This inventory is my way of checking in, of slowing down, of shining perspective on the people in my life so that I never, ever again take anyone for granted.

Nowadays. I’m to the point.

• I cut myself off from a lot of people from my past.
• I don’t post on social media that much.
• I have better boundaries.
• I’m very picky on who I let in my life. I won’t lie I make it hard to get next to me.
• I post a lot of food/general content on Youtube, but there’s a lot that people still don’t know about me and my life. My past doesn’t know about my life or how it’s progressing.

But I do have my peeps and I’ll keep this inventory close in mind.

It’s 2022 at the time of this writing, but by the time you read it, it will be 2024. I had to write a ton of content ahead of time to stay consistent despite what’s happening. 🔥🙌

If you like what you’ve read, please recommend it so others can read it as well. Please tell me what you want me to write about here!

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