Blunt Life Advice
“Diversity is being invited to the party. Inclusion is being asked to dance.”
— Vernā Myers
#1. Whenever you speak out on your life experiences (racism, workplace, sexism, etc). Someone out there may not be happy with what you are saying and could retaliate. Brace your self for the hostility, and be prepared for people to retreat from you and not be on your side. Tell your story, but be ready for anything. Victim blaming is a thing. I just watched Dr. Phil on 2/9/2022, and this lady named Cameron Vaughn was victim blamed for being raped (she was drinking, she was doing this, or that.) Does this mean she deserved what happened to her? No. The judge overturned the rape conviction because he thought the guy that did it was punished enough. It seems like more is done to project the perpetrator instead of the victim one too many times.
1a. This is why I stopped recording at night in person. At the end of the day, if I was recording or filming at night with guys and something happened, more in likely I would get victim blamed (why were you up there with guys by yourself, you know how men are. ) Because I live in a society filled with double standards, and I don’t always feeling safe being a woman. I don’t let my guard down so easy because I also don’t have enough experiences telling me that I’ll be safe if I do. It’s interesting because this world sends a lot of mixed messages. I have to think 10 steps ahead and think of every possible scenario, especially with the medical issues I’ve had, I really have to REALLY be on my guard with my biggo safety net. I’ve gotten more music recorded from my home computer, and this is the zone I’m going to stick with for a while.
#2. After seeing a lot of crime shows (any other crime show fans out here? I love Dateline, 48 Hours, 20/20 and some of the older shows). All it takes is for a group of people to say lies and a stupid judge to believe these lies against you. As scary as this sounds, you are one lie and one idiot judge away from a criminal record. I’ve learned that justice isn’t always on your side. There’s plenty of people that’s been convicted of crimes they didn’t do. Thank goodness for groups like the Innocence Project.
#2a. I remember as early as my childhood, you can get blamed for things you didn’t do, just for everyone to find out later after the damage is done that you really didn’t do it. On another episode of Dr. Phil, (2/10/2022), Yesse and her lawyer Benjamin Taylor was on there explaining that she was arrested for a hit and run because her car “looked like” the car that was in a hit and run. The police had evidence that she didn’t do it, but they arrested her anyways.
If you are in this unfortunate club glad to be in the UHaul with you. Let’s get to know each other better. Sorry doesn’t always take back the pain or damage someone causes (Good for Yesse and her attorney for filing a lawsuit against the Scottsdale Police for violating her civil rights). Sometimes, people take what you say in conversation, a blog post or video way too personally. They can’t seem to read an article and separate themselves from it, they want to dissect everything you say and make everyone think you are talking about them. (If it really does hit close to home for someone, the only advice I have at that point is if the shoe fits, wear it. If it triggers you that much, don’t engage…And remember that people are always going to lie and talk shit about you, let them talk. )
#3. I hope you have a legal defense fund of at least $10,000 or more. Be prepared to appeal over and over. The scary part is even this may not pan out.
#4. If you can, try to find people that you can talk to. As a person that generally powered through things for years on her own, I’ve had plenty of life experiences to suggest to me that I cannot generally trust people. I’ve gotten burned too many times being vulnerable, so I’m careful with what I share, because people can deeply wound you with it. I’m very choosy. I’ve generally found that most people just don’t care with what’s happening to you unless it’s happening to them. Unless they are getting something out of it. OR if you are giving something them.
Sometimes I would post a story just to test if family and friends was going to check on me. I love them, but most of them didn’t and really didn’t care. In their defense, I did say everything was gonna be fine and that I didn’t want to burden and bother. Many times in my life I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone or don’t think people wouldn’t understand so I keep a lot to myself.
#5. When I go to the hospital, it’s on my own. (Occasionally my mom shows up, but when she’s not around I’m on my own). Generally speaking, If I can’t handle it on my own I won’t put myself in the situation.
P.S The same people who bagger about having kids are the same people who would never be found if I needed a support system. The #1 reason I will not have kids. Again, due to my life experiences, I’ve found I won’t get the support I would need and when it boils down to it I’ll be on my own when no one is around. As a independent person, I’ve gotten a feel for what I can deal with and pushed it beyond my own limits at some points. And I know if I experience a burnout or exhaust all my resources, I would be on my own emotionally, personally, psychologically and mentally. I will not go into any situations based on what other people say. Or what people say they would do given the situation. My question to myself is could I deal with this on my own? If not, I’m not putting myself in the situation, because no one is gonna come save you but yourself.
5a. Everything starts, begins and ends with you. People leave. At the end of the the day when that door shuts behind you, you have to deal with it on your own.
#6. It’s your strong friends that tell you that they are ok are the ones that need the most checking up on. The ones that are there for everyone else usually don’t have anyone there for them.
When a good girl has been broken by the people she loves. She’s not selfish for focusing on herself. She been through a lot of shit. That pain she been through has made her life fall apart. So now she’s spending every waking moment trying to put herself back together, along with her life so that she can live her best life. STOP MAKING A GIRL FEEL GUITY FOR PUTTING HERSELF FIRST. She’s been putting everybody else first before her. How the feel is she supposed to live her best life, when you are draining the life out of her.-selflove_speaker.
(Drop a comment if you needed to hear this ladies, self love speaker was on one when he said that one.).
#6a. I’ve seen the quote thrown around that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, and if you wasn’t strong enough to deal with it, you wouldn’t be put in that situation, and God gives his most grueling battles to his toughest soldiers, etc. Or if you are an empath or lightworker reading this (or even if you don’t consider yourself one) and you think you were made to receive and experience problems, you find that you keep dealing with suffering, pain, and sorrow over and over again with no end in sight.
I truly believe that he made me this race on purpose, and he built me to endure the tribulations that come with this race. And I think part of my calling is to help people who look like me get to where they want to be-Jennifer DeCasper
I think in order for things to change, you kind of have to be comfortable being different, because somebody’s got to walk into the room and be the only one. Somebody had to make room for somebody else at the table. There’s so many people that have done it before me, and have made me feel more comfortable. But there’s still so much more to do.-Candace Parker
“The enemy uses the heaviest artillery on the people who are carrying the greatest purpose. And so if a lot is coming against you, that means God has put a lot in you.”-Steve Furtick
“It isn’t the good days that define who we are, it’s being able to weather the storm, fight through those days where you feel like you can’t accomplish anything, like you have no motivation, like success is years away and you will never get there. Those are the days where you put in the work, those are the days where you strive to be better, even if it’s just making that one small step. Getting out of the house, going for a walk, doing one small task that gets you ahead. It’s in those moments that you set yourself up for success in the future. And if you’re willing to grind and do those things on days you absolutely don’t feel like it? Well those are the moment that are gonna define your future, and I know that if you do that, you will be successful”
Let’s just say hypothetically and unapologetically you can handle a lot, these quotes are your situation. You’ve been/are Teflon and as tough as nails. You’re a badass trailblazer, you pick up the stones that people throw at you and make an empire. Yes, the crappy experiences can set the stage to help you shine. They are huge opportunities for growth. What’s waiting for you on the other side of this. Let’s just say there really is so much more waiting for you. The experiences you’ve had have only served to prepare you for everything that’s coming for you. Something that’s been draining you for years is about to disappear. Or your past is going to prepare you for your abundant new chapter. Let’s say you are destined for bigger and better things than the people around you, and that everything I said in this paragraph is 100% true.
Just because you can handle it or equipped to handle more than usual due to your life experiences, doesn’t mean you always should. Even if it’s preparing you for better things, in the midst of tragedies, traumas, losses, and setbacks it doesn’t always feel this way. If you feel like you have trusted people to go to unleash and open up to, try. It’s a catch 22 to keep the pain and trauma bottled up inside: on one hand, you might be in situation where talking with people around you may prove to be too difficult, or you don’t want to trigger them (or you can’t trust them). On the other hand carrying all of this around is a heavy burden.
And some will say the trials, tribulations, challenges and obstacles weren’t for nothing and got you here and there. You are the person you are today with everything you went through. With that, if it becomes too much to bare, still seek help. I’ve seen the motivational videos, prayer videos, even the suggestion that you can pray away your pain. I’ve seen the videos where it says God/allah/higher power/what you believe in is there for you and “choose his ability over my circumstances” “I’ve heard your cries, and see your pains, and you need to hold on during these trying times” “Keep praying, I will change your story” “I am proud of how strong you have been, and continue to be strong because help is near.” “Your pain has a purpose, I will catch your attention through pain at times.” “Your pain will be used for something far greater than you” “I will turn your negative circumstances into one of the biggest blessings of your life (I can keep going actually). And the situation seems to continue to go on a downward spiral no matter what you do, and you just not catching any breaks despite seeing “be strong and the light for other people” “You may have to go to people far removed from your situation, but seek additional help if you need, especially if you are at the point where you stopped believing all together or if you are pissed off and angry at the world. Or if the pain is going through is so bad that you are thinking about ending your life. All the you are a champion , do not give up, pick your head up, if you only knew what God is doing for you and to better your situation, don’t stop moving forward quotes in the world may not be helpful if your prayers go unanswered, you feel like your life is a mess, if you feel like things won’t ever get better, you are facing suffering by yourself and you are to the point where you don’t want to be here or a particular place anyone). It’s easy for people to say not wallow and judge when they are not in the midst of it themselves. If you can, get some outside perspectives from non-judgmental people (and I know this can be hard to come by for some people, especially if you feel like you are distanced or don’t have reliable people in your life).
Honorable Mentions:
“Hey you, stay positive. The things that you are praying for are going to happen very soon.”
I see when your faith has run out and you have lost interest in all the things in your life.
“Your answers has arrived. Don’t ignore this message from God.
“This is the season when everything starts to fall into place for you what was fallen apart.”
“The experiences you’ve had have only served to prepare you and for making you strong.”
“Blessings are on their way. I promise to be with you in every trail of your life”
“God says to you, be strong now, because things will get better. It might be stormy now, but it can’t rain forever.”
“11:11. Opportunities will knock at the door”
“To let in, slow down. To let in, relax. To let in, unwind. To let in, be calm.”
“God is saying to you, in case no one told you today. The pain is temporary. Please don’t give up on me because you endure while being on earth.
God said: Give me your broken pieces and I will fix it for you. Just trust me. I don’t want to see you hurt like this. I love you so much (
“God’s timing is perfect” and your blessing is bigger than you think
“There is a mark of favor on upon you, so the work of your hands are established”
“I never saw YOU this quiet and disturbed. You feel so helpless that you don’t want to share your pain anymore with anyone”
“I know you are worried about your family, your career, your jobs, your business, and want an abundance of peace, harmony, happiness and prosperity.”
The pain will end, the tears will stop, the doors will open.
“I know you are secretly living in pain. You cry yourself to sleep every night not wanting to bother anyone”
My dear, I know you’re stressed, and thinking too much, but always remember one thing that every problem has a solution
I know there’s a lot on your mind at present. Just give it to me and stay calm (keeping
You might be tired, frustrated or discouraged, but don’t give up.
I know you have experienced pain, but you still had faith in me.
“I prayed a special prayer for someone parring through hard times, a hard time which seem to be mental, financially, and emotionally damaging. I pray for this person reading this, that God will come to your rescue, wipe your tears and restore you whole in Jesus name. Amen.
“Be strong now, because things will get better.
“You have endured much in your life. People have betrayed you and judged you for no reason.”
“I am going to heal your pain, restore what you’ve lost, and provide all the financial resources you need. Blessings are in your future.
“God is saying to you today. Everything will work out. I’m in complete control. I know what the medical report says. I know what the financial landscape looks like.”
“God is saying, my child, you have suffered enough, I have come to give you a new life.”
“My child, I want you to stay strong in times of suffering and difficult situations. I’m not silent, I can see you suffering and crying. My child, I love and care about you. Your adversity and tribulation are not permanent, they are illusion.”
“The things that you have gone through have only prepared you and made you stronger.”
“I’m going to make things right by you. God says, you will be happy again, you will heal.”
“No harm will come to you, no sickness will come near your house”
We also know that, both emotionally and physically, words can hurt you — especially racist ones. “There is data that suggests that stress associated with experiencing racism actually causes people to be physically ill,” notes Benton. “That’s very real and that’s at every stage — for young people and adults. But traumatic experiences don’t have to reside with us all the time if there’s an opportunity to talk to someone who can help us process.-Dr. Tami Benton
“When someone helps you while they are also struggling, that is not help, this is love.
P.S. You can’t show love if you don’t have any to give. You can’t help others if your cup is empty. I’ve tried it multiple times…..and in the end I’ve found that people aren’t willing to help you in the same ways you would help them given the situation (and if you know me well enough by now, I don’t do things to get something in return).
P.S. 2. The quotes look and feel nice, but imagine reading no harm will come to you, and then watching your friends and family pass away in a tragic way, it doesn’t feel like blessings. I’m going to make things right doesn’t feel right, nothing When you focus on my presence, many things that once troubled you will lose their power over you. The things that seem sorrowful now will soon be over but the joys to come will last forever. No matter how bad things may seem at the moment, know that God has a plan for you. He will bring you out of this struggle, and into a place of peace and happiness. (I can really keep going.) A breakthrough is coming your way and all your prayers will be answered soon. Keep your head up and don’t lose faith, because the best is yet to come. God has great things in store for you, so don’t give up now. Healing blessings are headed your way soon and everything will be back to normal. There will be a turnaround in your luck. The hardships you have been through won’t last forever, and better days are ahead. God says, you deserve to be happy, be strong because your problem today are just temporary. My child, trust me and have patience, everything will come to you at the right time.
I’m sorry, I can’t unsee seeing my friends and cousins from the ages of 21 to 34 in a casket. The sad reality is no one can take that pain away or make it right. Time doesn’t always heal, you just learn to live with it, and that child-like innocence you had before experiencing tragedies is forever gone. Life before loss was one of a kind of childlike innocence compared to the life I have now. For them to pass away in the prime of their life hurts.
Everything will come to me at the right time. Is watching my friend get killed around my birthday ok? Or losing friends and family over the holidays great timing to you all in the same year? I don’t think so, it feels like karma and punishment to be blunt.
Now earthly things? Absolutely. Sometimes you can’t force things, and things just click at the right time like career wise. I got that. If I watch the videos from that perspective, it makes perfect since.
I rather no God or religious video say anything, and I flourish in into the person I’m destined to be, and there are so many amazing things to look forward to, celebrate life than making promises they can’t keep.
7. Don’t always expect help from others because you helped them. Do not expect people to show you the same love you show them.
You give so much to help your family, friends, community, or even strangers without expecting anything in return. But very few people recognize that you might need help sometimes, too. Recently you might have gone through a tough time and needed help, but nobody was there to lend a hand.
Sometimes, people don’t know how to help you, and most of the time people don’t care to help you.
#8. There’s a difference between being lazy and burnout.
#9. You’re not a virgin. Especially if you been through life. Kurt Cobain says it best.
#10. Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean they will love you back.
#10. People will question all the good things they hear about you but believe the bad without a second thought.
#11. I’ll just leave these 5 here.
11a. Sometimes it’s completely necessary to isolate and improve yourself by yourself.
On a personal level, your spirit guides want you to know that The Universe is activating a social shift for you as well, Alesha.
When the Three of Cups card shows up in a reading, it brings forward new friendships, relationships, and partnerships that are actually in alignment with your soul.
For a while, you may have felt a little lonely — especially during the chaos that seemed to consume most of 2021.
The most consistent thing that I’ve heard from many of my clients during this time is that many people seemed to just be “falling out of their lives.”
Have you experienced this recently, Alesha?
If it’s been difficult with losing old friends, disconnecting with family members that just don’t seem to support you or understand who you truly are, and even move away from jobs that no longer serve you, you’re truly in alignment with The Universe’s energy.
Don’t worry!
This isolated feeling is coming to a close with the divine message of fulfilling partnership and friendship with the 3 of Cups card.
As challenging as vibrating past your old friends and family might have been, it was completely necessary to isolate and improve yourself by yourself.
As you can probably tell over the years, it’s been difficult for you to “fit in” here on Earth.
What’s popular and mainstream rubs you the wrong way because it typically goes against your morality.
It seems like what’s on TV, social media, or in the news doesn’t really align with what you know your soul wants to do.
That’s because you’re different, Alesha.
I haven’t felt like I fit in anywhere for a long time, and while I don’t try extra hard to fit in, when I find people I click and vibe with I stick with them. It’s just matching people on your wavelength.
#12. When I care, I care wayy too much. My loyalty runs so deep that I will fight for something until I feel like there is nothing left, no matter how bad it is or how long it takes (which is why I was trying to work it out with the place I once loved when I was younger for years-even though I secretly knew as early as 19 that I wondered if I could have had a time machine to change things.) I will fight for the good times that could return, so once I stop arguing, activity caring, and checking on you. That’s when you lost me. I will cold turkey not care and become cold hearted.
When I don’t I generally don’t. It’s curtains when I don’t. And once I get to the point of no return, it’s nearly impossible for me to see that situation/person the same way. A childhood friend to this day is trying really hard to be my friend again, and I really can’t trust her. Trust and loyalty is big to me.
#13. I love you, but this is where I speak my mind. Also, generally what I noticed is too many white friends/family never notice things over the years (I.E. Racism) that don’t affect them or that they haven’t personally experienced. What helps me is remembering that unless you are part of a historically marginalized group, they won’t care, really understand racism or see racism. (Some of you really do try, but let me finish my point). It’s not your burden, responsibility or obligation to teach them, only if you are comfortable doing so. Once I lowered my expectations, stopped expecting them to speak out against racism, I stopped being disappointed. (The BLM black box posting was a phrase, and I figured it wouldn’t last long. My thoughts are more are interested in keeping up their reputations, status, fronting appearances and being who they are not than really getting rid of racism. Why get rid of a system that gives you an advantage?).
Felt like, or made someone feel like, an unwanted guest? Witnessed or participated in an act of racism? Stood silent or conversely, took action in the face of an unjust act? Thought of yourself as a privileged person, enjoying some right or advantage that certain groups of people don’t?-Dr. Zur
#14. Being alone for a while is dangerous. It’s F*cking addicting. Once you find out how peaceful your own company can become, your never want to deal with another person’s shit again.
#15. If a person comes into my life, I don’t expect them to stay forever because so many others left when times get rough, when times get hard they left. I don’t even blame people when they leave or don’t get surprised when they are not there for me.
It’s trying to show your love more than enough times. And every time you were proven time and time again on why you should have stuck to yourself in the first place. You get frustrated when people expect you to sit there and talk to them and beg for them to sit here and stay in your life when you know they don’t want to. It’s frustrating to bend over backwards to try to keep people in your life.
It’s trying to nurture a relationship with others, but the same effort isn’t put into nurturing the relationship with you.
#16. If you stick around forever, cool. I just don’t bank on it a lot of the time anymore. #15 is more accurate. P.S. I’m so used to people leaving, so don’t be offended if I isolate myself from you. That’s how I’m used to dealing with my problems, alone for years.
17. Here’s a great Tik Tok video on how to unlove someone who was supposed to be your everything forever.
18. There’s someone out there right now, holding their breath just waiting to see you fail. Make sure that motherf*cker suffocates.
19. The same people who hated on you will eventually mimic you because they studied you so hard looking for flaws that they got inspired without even knowing it. That’s what happens when your light is so bright it shines even on the darkest spirit.
20. That outer acceptance from others is nothing compared to inner peace. (nurturing your inner world and embracing solitude is more my speed.)
21. Fame is as fickle as it is enticing.
22. Expecting people to do what you would do in a situation only leads to your disappointment (Repeating this three times on purpose).
(Which is why I personally give without expecting anything in return. Once it’s done, it’s done and I don’t think about it anymore. Mom had me volunteer for people when I was younger and there was no way they could ever “pay me back” or “give me something” nor was I was looking for something. If you have ulterior motives or looking for something when you do something your intentions isn’t good anyways. Or you always looking for recognition and pats on the back all the time? It’s so much easier if you can let go of the need to get recognized. Classic example: I would never expect someone to support me in my business because I supported them in theirs. Ideally, its nice to know you have people in your corner and you can scratch each other’s backs. But if your heart is in the right place things will work out in it’s own way. And for sake of all things, whatever happened to just being nice just to be nice?)
23. When someone helps you and they are struggling, that’s not help. That’s love.
#23. Don’t start a business or something creative just because you think it will get your friends and family to like you more. Start a business/creative venture because it aligns with your higher purpose and you want to better your life. If you are starting a business for sole purpose to be liked, you are in it for the wrong reason.
#24. Don’t let anyone tell you how long to grieve for. Some people you will miss for the rest of your life. I do sometimes think I hear a loved one, or see them in my dreams…
#25. Sometimes you are still afraid despite reading scripture. I remember reading it for religion class in my early years, and I still didn’t feel safe.
#26. Along with 24. When you are grieving, a lot of people don’t want to get involved with you because they have their own problems they are dealing with and busy with their own lives. Also, in other words, most don’t give a f****. Other times, people don’t understand what’s going on in your head, especially if you are in a room with people and still feel isolated. If you find some friends that stick around long after that casket closes (and I mean for years), keep them. People show their true colors during hard times and grief. You’ll find out who your true friends are.
#27. You don’t have to forgive if you don’t want to.
#28. People who are not wealthy, who fall for the trappings of wealth don’t really know what wealth is, but try to tell you what they think wealth is based on what amount of material things they think you have or don’t have. Most of the people who are giving advice I wouldn’t want to trade places with.
#29. Happiness don’t come from other people. It comes from within.
#30. Breaking your back for people who don’t break a sweat for you. STOP IT.
#31. Sometimes, holding on can be more painful than letting go.
I literally cut out my religion, some schools I used to love, some people, and some organizations I deeply loved. I stopped giving the things that caused me pain the straw. As painful as it is, sometimes keeping the things that isn’t meant to stay can keep you from attracting what you’re meant to have/become. As soon as I stopped cold turkey caring about people that don’t care about me, stopped loving a place I loved for years where I got treated really badly (I’m rooting for the other side now), and let go of my religion where I felt disconnected for years, my music started taking off. At the time of this writing, I’m close to 100k listens. This is absolutely wild.
Only time will tell if I ever will make amends with some of the things I cut out, thinking no, I want to continue on my new journeys. (I doubt it, once you cut them out I should leave them out of my life right like I’ve always said? Exactlyyyy.)
#32.
It’s 2022 🔥🙌
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