Can we be just friends?

As a lady who experiences this on a regular basis, I get it.

  1. Staying away from people. My cottage in the woods is my sanctuary. If I had to I would get a trailer or RV, only to come out for groceries and to take my dog to the bathroom.
  2. I’ve been told I’m strict and hard on people at times. This is why as a nice person, I’m hard on people. On so many occasions, people mistake my kindness for weakness.
  3. Tell guys that you only want friendship and making that communication clear. NO MIXED MESSAGES. No silly giggles. No I’ll “think about it." Be direct and firm. If they keep pushing the point limit contact. What’s worse are the guys who don’t respect that and try to change your mind as if life is some kind of disney movie and that if they keep hounding you, you would eventually be attracted to them.
  • I also tell them to bring their girlfriends and wife along to the party. I have nothing to hide and over time the SO realizes I’m just a wing woman to carry his drunk a*** home at the end of the night it’s all good anyways. He goes to his home and I go to my home. It’s made clear that I have no interest in the guy. He has no interest in me PERIOD.
  • Are you friends with them because are products of your romantic interest? Check it at the door. See them as a human first. Treat them like you would treat your best friend.
  • Are you actively hang out with them with the constant hope or intention of being "rewarded" romantically or sexually? Check yourself. Stop expecting something for everything nice you do like you’re 10 years old. GROW UP. (This tip is for the fellas, but applies to ladies too).
  • To add to that, if you want to understand the “grow up” concept better, volunteer and give back to someone who can’t repay you. No one is saying spend thousands of dollars on someone. But what I’m also saying is to stop counting the number of nice things you do, and then reminding the person every chance you get. Do something nice then let it an adult about it.
  • According to some of my guy friends I’ve talked to: IF a guy liked you and you dont like them back, it may hurt them too much to be around you. Same for a girl liking you.
  • You don’t have to like them back just because they like you first. It’s not your problem that they are fixated and they need to move on.
  • Love can make you think irrationally and cloud your judgement. No does not mean ask later.
  • White Falcon is right on another relating topic. True friends are really hard to come by. Acquaintances and friends are intertwined a lot. The people we call friends sometimes deserve to be called acquaintances.

Hey bud, I don’t like you romantically but value your friendship.

  • Find a purpose or volunteer opportunity to get your mind off the person. Join a club, find a hobby.
  • Have your friends take you out and get you drinks.
  • Realize they don’t have to be into you because you are into them. This is worth repeating because many don’t understand this and like to try to force the issue.



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Alesha Peterson

Alesha Peterson

Howdy! Entrepreneurship, fitness, music, acting, real estate, tequila & investing is sexy. Idea for an article? Suggestions wanted!