Freeing Yourself From Mental Slaughter
Before You Read This: I had this as a draft in my LinkedIn profile for a year. LinkedIn restricted my account, and I couldn’t access anything. There’s mistakes in this I’m sure. If you catch anything outrageous, help a fellow human out and let me know.
Before you read this II *This is influenced by a mix of articles that I saw across the internet. This article was on my LinkedIn but it was restricted for a while. I thought this was something I lost forever. I’m happy to publish this. It was so long ago I forgot who’s quote is who. Forgive a human lol.
Many people are stuck in limitations placed on us by ourselves or others. How many times have you been told you can’t? In my years of schooling, I have been told I couldn’t do this or I couldn’t do that. Or the famous: I can’t do it so why do you think you can do it?
Be Aware Of The Baby Elephant Syndrome
These limitations inevitably lead to many of us suffering from the “Baby Elephant syndrome.” The story is told how baby elephants are trained. When an elephant living in captivity and is still a baby, it is tied to a tree with a chain or rope every night. The baby elephant tries with all of its efforts to break the rope but it isn’t strong enough to do so. It tries and fails many times until realizing its efforts are futile, it finally gives up and stops attempting for the rest of its life.
Later, when the elephant is fully grown, it can be tied to a small tree with a thin rope and could easily free itself by breaking the rope or uprooting the tree but because its mind has been conditioned by its past experiences, it doesn’t even make the slightest attempt to break free. This powerful animal has confined its present abilities by the limitations of past experiences hence, the “Baby Elephant Syndrome.”
Human beings are similar to the elephant except for one thing, we have a choice. We don’t have to settle for the false boundaries created by others or the past.
Don’t let others limits become your limits:
Don’t let other people talk you out of your dreams because they don’t have the courage to pursue theirs.
Don’t let circumstances keep you from moving up.
Personal story. I was talking with a graduate student about an acting career. She started to say something along the lines of “your a person of color and you are going to have a harder time.” My first response was “Oh really now?”
“Why I never focus on the negative: “Whenever people say it’s hard for black women in Hollywood, I say, ‘That has not been my journey. Check my résumé.’ As my father used to say, ‘What you profess is what you will possess.’”
I agree with Taraji P. Henson. I really can’t and don’t focus on what I can’t control. Contrary to popular belief, I do not have the “bad” experiences with my Hollywood circles that people in school told me I would have. That has not been my journey. I find them to be quite nice and casting directors are really kind. When it comes to casting for projects, casting directors know what they are doing. I really didn’t tell anyone at my school about the connections I have because a) It’s not cool to brag and b) if you know someone doesn’t support you, why tell them your goals so they can try and talk you out of them? And then on top of that kick you down and talk about what you can’t do?
Look. I’m not saying that things have always been easy. I had my fair share of hard times and people trying to give me grief because they just wanted to. But when I was told that, my response really was “My opportunity is based on me. I control my own destiny.”
I actually emailed one of my Hollywood connections this and told him what happened. I won’t name drop but here’s some of his response:
“Whether people support you are not, you know the truth and the truth is it doesn’t really matter what other people think. You can’t really change that. To have the most success you have to simply believe in yourself and give it all you have and see what happens. You only will find out if you try.
Most people are so afraid of failure they would rather avoid it at all costs than take a chance to achieve what they want. Our culture is very focused on winning and losing and when you think winning is so important then it discourages people from doing things that look difficult.
The good news is if you try things that are difficult your chances for success are quite high because so few other people will try. There is often a complaint that certain races are not represented enough on television or in movies but part of the problem maybe that fewer people from those groups try to succeed in this field because they assume they will fail. Eventually if enough people try something then doors will open because everyone will get tired of saying no to these people and finally they will let them try so we are all partially to blame for the difficulties that various groups have, including the groups themselves.
People rely on what happened in the past to assess what will happen in the future and of course if you do that then you ensure that the past will be repeated. You have to keep an open mind and give it everything you have and just see what happens because i can guarantee you one thing. Nothing will happen if you don’t try. “
I won’t get in the whole conversation, but it was a great talk with a Hollywood insider. I never understood growing up why people used to talk about that. Look. I wasn’t born yesterday. I may experience things my friends don’t experience and I may be perceived differently. But to imply that I won’t be successful because of my skin color is ridiculous. There are some people who are closed minded and that’s unfortunate that some people isn’t open to all the possibilities. And if an unfortunate situation arises, I handle it accordingly. I wasn’t always focused on the things I was expected to, which was odd to people. I may take some heat for that one. It’s my truth and my journey. Believe it or not, I have my struggles, but I haven’t experienced all these things. I would be fake if I said it any other way.
“Human tragedies: We all want to be extraordinary and we all just want to fit in. Unfortunately, extraordinary people rarely fit in” ― Sebastyne Young
“She may have been among them but she could never be one of them. She was without inclusion for-as-much as she was not “one of the girls” and she wasn’t “one of the guys.” She was an outsider gazing in, endlessly comfortless, while they wished they had what it took to be less like the others and more like her.”
Let’s just say I would have taken the advice to heart that the graduate student told me. Being negative and taking the route everyone else were mindsets that wouldn’t serve me. If I would have listened I don’t know what my life would be like. It scares me to think about it.
So I know this was a long section.
Going Against The Grain:
“When I was young, I used to wish I would fit in… I’m glad I didn’t get my wish.”
“There are people who are generic. They make generic responses and they expect generic answers. They live inside a box and they think people who don’t fit into their box are weird. But I’ll tell you what, generic people are the weird people. They are like genetically-manipulated plants growing inside a laboratory, like indistinguishable faces, like droids. Like ignorance.”
“I don’t fit into any stereotypes. And I like myself that way.” ― C. JoyBell C.
“True cool is an attitude that is projected from a person who is extremely comfortable in their own skin. Cool people have the ability to forge their own paths, stand apart from the herd, and not give a damn about fitting in. A person who is truly cool is a work of art. And remember, original works of art cost exponentially higher than imitations. Just take a look at the the coolest people in history. They will always be a part of history for being extremely original individuals, not imitations.” ― Suzy Kassem,
“We’re so quick to cut away pieces of ourselves to suit a particular relationship, a job, a circle of friends, incessantly editing who we are until we fit in.”
“I think fitting in is highly overrated. I’d rather just fit out… Fitting out means being who you are, even when people insist that you have to change. Fitting out means taking up space, not apologizing for yourself, and not agreeing with those who seek to label you with stereotypes.”
Be careful what you call yourself. The inner dialogue inside of us is the biggest enemy of all. The mind is a powerful thing. The minute you start working on your mindset, the minute you can start transforming your results.
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Hello There! I’m Alesha! I’ve been involved in different businesses in several different capacities from being ceo, coo, co-founder, and more. I’ve learned so much from creating businesses, and I look forward to all the learning experiences I will have from starting new ventures. 2019 I’m excited to announce that I’m going to add more businesses to my portfolio. STAY TUNED! I’m going to introduce them sometime next year!
With one business I was involved with, we made it possible to install a little device with customized hardware and a SaaS solution implemented to the router, the business owner was able see live data about social media info collected.
With another company, we had professional internet marketing company that focus on digital marketing campaigns, services and jobs such as SEO, PPC, Online Reputation Management, and social media marketing.
With EYT, I oversaw day-to-day operations and keeping the CEO apprised of significant events;Yes I actually talk with my business partner on a daily basis. I created operations strategy and policies; Communicated strategy and policy to employees and interns; Fostering employee alignment with corporate goals; and overseeing human resource management. I also delegated tasks to my team.
With Bones’ Custom Guitar. We created custom guitars for musicians with imported wood. No one Bones’ guitar is the same.
The Wish Benefit Concert is a concert founded by Ayana Carter, Mel Sexton and Alesha Peterson. It’s privately held at Riley Hospital For Children.
