Hate Is My Love. I Proposed. We Were Engaged. Now We Are Married.

This was technically supposed to be my 4th Medium post. Oh well. As I was posting, I found a whole slew of posts I missed from my 1st blog post. I was trying to honor where I started and whoops. In order to clearly understand, it’s best to read these in this order. It’s almost like reading chapter 4 then jumping to 15 lol. More in likely another mistake will happen. I even tried waking up at 4 am to play catch up haha. You might be reading a few of these posts twice. This is like a journal of my school days, which I washed my hands of and threw away. I avoid these days like the plague. I remember this post getting a tons of views.

Photo Credit Goes To Lee Pearson.

I love hate.

You’re probably thinking, “I knew Alesha was always crazy, but what is this about loving hate?”

I want to say for starters, it’s not my goal to go out of my way to get negative publicity. I appreciate and I’m super grateful for all the support and love I receive. I certainly would love to get positive reviews of my music and other products.

However, there is a wisdom to embracing both positive and negative publicity. Here’s why negative publicity could help me.

I’m into entertainment, but as of July 6th, 2014 at 7:19 pm (when I 1st started writing this) I’m an unknown actress, singer, model and dancer working my way to the next level. I’ve been thinking…negative publicity could make people aware of me (unknown person) that they didn’t know about before.

Let’s just say I release another music project, and it gets negative reviews. Because I’m not famous, the negative reviews could give me that much needed boost.

A negative review can make people more aware of my unknown product, my music. How can people buy my music if they don’t know it exists? Of course, I would love to get positive reviews, and that’s another way to gain attention. Who wouldn’t want some one supporting their music? Dedicated fans are gold.

In a crazy twist of fate, just like positive publicity can trigger people to remember your product over other unpublicized products, negative publicity can do the same thing. BINGO! As I’m writing this, Im thinking, why didn’t I think of it from this perspective before?!?!?Think about it: There’s so many forms of entertainment that people can spend their money on. Let’s face it, there’s so many choices. Trying to make yourself standout as a upcoming artist is not impossible, but tougher when starting out. Positive and/or negative publicity on my unknown product can let people know that it exists in the first place, (change it “known” status!!! WOOT WOOT), keep my product on people’s mind, and the next time someone makes a purchasing decision, they’ll keep my product in mind. I started to change my mind and keep an open mind to how negative publicity could help me, still being unknown.

Don’t get me wrong. I would much rather have positive reviews than negative reviews. And there is the negative publicity to worry about. But let’s face facts: Negative news can sometimes bring in more attention than the positive news. Sad but true. I do not love people talking poorly of me or my product(s). My music and my film projects are my babies. But being talked about in a both negative and positive light could actually help me. See the wisdom in that?

Have you heard of good things coming out of bad situations?

If I was famous, negative publicity could hurt me more because people know me. I know the one thing I probably will get hate on is the way I tip. Here’s the thing, they charge you a lot to eat food (a restaurant owner recently confessed they overcharge you for food), then if you have 8+ people at your table, they automatically add a gratuity; I’m a paying customer, I’m not thinking about how much you are getting paid or not (because I’m assuming that tips are added on salary right?) If you have issue with the way you are paid, take it up with your bosses or switch jobs. And then on top of that, they always go “aw your so cute are you old enough to be in here and out this late, DAMN IT YES. Again, I love my baby face and the super young look BUT If I’m harassed about my age, given bad service, security or the police called on me because they assume I’m too young, my tip money stays in my pocket. You think I’m kidding? Try me. My friends will tell you I like paying it forward and treating people right (despite how I feel about tipping in the first place) but if you give me reason to keep my cash in my pocket I will. I’m prepared for my fate and I’ll embrace the hating publicity. For all those reading this, I called it first. (BETS ANYONE? Takers? POPCORN?)

To get a even better perspective on this concept, watch Joel Olsteen’s video “No Stick Anointing.”

He nails it. No joke. So many life lessons to take from that video. I’ll find a way to get more quotes from this video, which includes watching it over and over! I came across it last year, and I kept this video in my life ever since. After watching this, honestly I started looking at negativity as something to embrace, not something to run from. And when I have a comment that takes me off guard, I have Joel Olsteen’s “No Stick Anointing” and “You are equipped” videos in addition to supportive family, friends, current fans, and future fans.

Also, there is one more thing I forgot to add that I’ve been thinking about, that’s a different twist but relates to this post. I’ve noticed all my life, some people were extremely jealous and it showed. And the honest truth, several of them still are. I won’t get into everything, but the biggest thing I can say is several people went out of their way to stop me from being successful. It’s thrilling for some people to watch you go through pain, and be miserable like they are. Sad but true. It doesn’t build you up to tear others down, and that’s the bigger part of the picture they don’t understand. You are not hurting me when you are trying to cut me down, you are ultimately hurting yourself. I pray for those people because they have more issues than a magazine stand if it makes them happy writing negative comments on someone’s Youtube or getting a kick out of seeing someone suffer.

That is one of the many valuable things my mom taught me early in life. Appreciate your own gifts and talents instead of being jealous of someone else’s. It does not make me any less of a person by acknowledging other people’s talents, or even saying that someone is more talented in areas/subjects.

There are things that I see in other people that I like to have, but it’s absolutely insane to treat someone mean because you don’t have something they have. The quicker you can kill that green eyed monster and keep it at bay, the better it is.

So. With all that said. If you feel like you are hated on, people are jealous of you, trying to keep you from being successful, there is something about you that they wish they had in themselves. I actually respect their jealously, because the it’s you who they wish they can be.

Remember, they wouldn’t bother you if you were nothing.

There’s something sweet about doing the things that people say you cannot do. Press forward and I’ll see you at the top.

Hate, I love you. Sincerely Yours,


“Pray for your enemies, and bless those who mistreat you…” (Matt 5:44)

“God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.” –Matthew 5:11–12

“Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for the favor, joy, peace and victory that God has given you. Wear your blessings well.” -Joel Olsteen

Hello! I’m Alesha! I’m a musician, actress, entrepreneur and writer. Follow on Twitter. If you like what I’m writing, give me a heart and share! :) I like hearts.

Photo Credit Goes To Lee Pearson.

Howdy! Entrepreneurship, fitness, music, acting, real estate, tequila & investing is sexy. Idea for an article? Suggestions wanted! https://bit.ly/AleshasTribe

Howdy! Entrepreneurship, fitness, music, acting, real estate, tequila & investing is sexy. Idea for an article? Suggestions wanted! https://bit.ly/AleshasTribe