Here’s 9 Signs That You Have A Really Big Heart, That May Also Be Causing You A Lot Of Pain.
Another video college.
Here’s the 8 signs, by BlueEyedWonder72.
I added 1.
#1. You continue to forgive people time and time again, even when they don’t deserve it.
Um, historically, I don’t use the term forgiveness, not sure if this fits me. I do not trip over the small things, but if someone shows themselves over and over again I stay away and wish them well. But thanks, maybe I’ll be more of “forgiving” person in the future. Not me right now. Wishful thinking though.
#2. You want to help anyone and everyone, even those who would never think twice about doing the same for you.
As a giver, I will continue to do things for people, especially cousins and close friends and not expecting anything in return. If I can do it, I’ll do it, but if I can’t, I can’t. I will make sure my oxygen tank is ok before putting the oxygen on others. But I also have no problem with removing toxic people out of my life. I’ve been cutting myself off more often and saying no, and it’s been nice.
#3. And although, you love to help others, you have a really hard time accepting help from others.
YES THIS. Too many times, I accepted help and got burned, and realized the person involved had ulterior motives. Accepting help in quite a few instances has lead to bad situations. I was left hung to dry having to pick up the pieces on my own.
I would love to be comfortable with accepting help, and the only person I’ve been comfortable with is my mom, and even that is not on solid ground. Nowadays I’m questioning a lot of things.
#4. You also have a really hard time saying no to people because you don’t want to feel like you’re letting them down. So you always agree, even if it means sacrificing your own comfort and peace.
Well, I gave some organizations my all, and in the end it was exhausting, because no matter how much I did, the way they showed their thanks and appreciation too many times is turning people against me (I come to find out years later there was nasty rumors and lies being spread about me behind my back, and the people who was friends with this person believed it, it’s called triangulation, a method where people invite others into a triangle to down someone, and the people wanna fit in so badly that they go along to get along; where a person within a conflict invites a third party into it instead of dealing with the situation themselves. The person forming the “triangle” controls all of the communication, often telling the third party what a horrible person their (in this context, often imagined) adversary is. It’s a tactic used to alienate and isolate someone.. I will not let people and situations exhaust me like this anymore. (To those who say relationships and kids isn’t work is a lie. I’m in a stage of my life where I won’t put myself in that mix because it’s work, and some recent 2021 incidents made me realize I won’t get the support and self care I need. I’m starting to find if I don’t do it myself, it won’t get done. Time and time again, starting when I was younger, I’ve found that I couldn’t/can’t depend on people around me for anything. In my heart of hearts, I hate being this way; I wouldn’t even care if they did it differently, I just want it done. But I’m to the point where I had to pull myself from the boot straps and so high that I don’t want to need anything from anyone. If I fall into post partum depression or had a medical emergency who would really be there to take care of things? So in turn I will be the support that mom’s need, and be the support I wish I had given the situation. ) I don’t do things for recognition or awards. I don’t care about thank yous. I also don’t want to give and give and give, and in the end be backstabbed.
#5. You feel everything so deeply and you apologize for things that aren’t even your fault.
I disagree with this one slightly, I stopped using sorry as much. I’ve been more vocal about issues, and I’m not sorry for standing up to bullies.
#6. You hold onto the wrong people because you’re someone who always tried to see the good in others.
I’ve slightly changed my stance on this also. Instead of always seeing the good in others, you need to look at what they are showing you. Just because you see goodness in others doesn’t mean that they see the good in you.
#7. You probably hurt a lot, because most people don’t treat you the same way you treat them.
This. Sometimes I do think I’m the last person people think about. Am I suggesting I should be center of attention all the time, no, because it’s not about me. But people who are strong also need people to check in on them to make sure they are ok.
#8. Despite the pain you feel, you don’t let the world change your heart.
But here’s the catch 22. I’m careful who I’m vulnerable with.
#9. I’ve learned how to say fuck it more often.
Don’t make this mistake. A kind person doesn’t mean they’re weak. One thing that people need to understand about extremely kind, nice and loving people is that their other side is just as extreme. It’s the hell that they have survived that makes them gentle. The beast that is within them is asleep. Not dead. So be careful how you treat others. -Toksfale8
Yep, people have mistaken my kindness for weakness my whole life. And too many times because I’m nice, they think I’m stupid so people have tried me. Then when I bring another side out and hang them to dry, they wonder where that came from. I’ve had to demonstrate this a lot lately.
#1 Reason I’m Staying Independent Despite What Social Media Therapists Say
I’ve been seeing a lot of posts saying that being too independent is a trauma response. So what. I rather be independent and depend on myself then depend on others just to be let down (AGAIN). When people let you down but you decide to be there for yourself.
Stop being reliant on others, it doesn’t work.
Stop waiting around for someone to save you, they won’t.
Start becoming your own therapist, your own coach, your own hero.
Because you can be saved…but the only one who can save you…is you.-Kayleen Wright
I understand the therapists are posting that to make money. Or grow an audience. And yes they gotta push the family/relationship agenda, because a nation is only as strong as it’s families. Yes to a certain degree we all need each other, and I’m not suggesting I cut myself off and go to the forest for 20 years, not to be seen and heard from again (as a part time hermit, going to the woods feels hella good though).
And even the angel numbers are suggesting I should keep an open mind about relationships, because apparently 222 means my twin flame is into me. If you have a crush on me, don’t. I’m not the one.
But due to my history, and due to asking for help multiple times, and being financially, emotionally, and mentally ripped because of it, I would be a fucking idiot to put myself in a position where I depend on someone else fully like that again. What’s the solution? I depend on person (in this case a man) again, and then I go through the process of picking up the pieces and healing again? Get used to and know stability just for it to be taken away and go on a downward spiral, again. With the amount of betrayal and hurt I’ve experienced, I would be CRAZY to continue the insanity. No thank you, I rather be the person who can take care of things, and if he comes along great saying he would “take care of me” (and I would work on a balance I suppose, with multiple income streams in the background somewhere AND still doing things), but I will never walk in a situation or relationship with blinders on like that ever again. It was multiple falls from grace and one of the biggest fuck ups in my life doing this…And sometimes life experiences can make you bitter, so I’m trying hard to avoid that. But to think I’m going to voluntarily leave my fate into someone else’s hands (AGAIN), who may or may not be responsible enough to handle that (AGAIN)? Are some of these therapists insane?
I’m not opposed to finding life balance if certain areas are out of whack (except relationships, I want to be out of that conversation). But I do oppose being an idiot, life is not a romantic Disney movie, there’s realities you gotta face and deal with. Depending on anyone financially is the worst thing you can do, take it from someone who was vulnerable about it and got burned multiple times. Another quick story. I depended on scholarships for school, and I was reminded time and time again how “disadvantaged and stupid I was”. The name calling, the stereotyping, people thinking they better than you, the racism, them wanting me to play a victim, because they were more comfortable with me playing a role than rising up because they were afraid of who I may become or me becoming bigger than them. If this is what seeking helps and getting help feels like then hell I’m good. Maybe others out there had a better experience, and I’ll never speak for everyone, but I’m to the point where I rather do bad and be bad by myself.
I rather take my chances and do it on my own. I rather go to the military and come back in a box, and they look down at me in a coffin and say “that’s a bitch that tried, and she wanted it all and worked hard to get it.”
I vibe alone. When I find people on the same wavelength, great. But here lately I’m finding by avoiding most people, and removing myself from certain people and situations, I avoid getting myself into more trauma.
Let me know if you relate below.
It’s 2021 🔥🙌
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