I Wasn’t Prepared To Get My Feelings Hurt

Hey There! My name is Alesha! This was technically supposed to be my 14th post. Oh well. As I was posting, I found a whole slew of posts I missed from my 1st blog post. I was trying to honor where I started and whoops. In order to clearly understand, it’s best to read these in this order. It’s almost like reading chapter 4 then jumping to 15 lol. More in likely another mistake will happen. I even tried waking up at 4 am to play catch up haha. I took a position here and there. I sometimes wonder if I cared too much? After looking at this, was I really this stupid? I will always have love for the bros, and never will regret the work I put into it. I felt like my presence never mattered on campus in general, and I was one of many students. On the other hand, it was hard for me to live in the moment and embrace what I had because of several painful incidents. No one never knew because I kept it to myself. I figure by not being vulnerable, no one else could hurt me deeply (or have a chance of hurting me deeply in the future). I had no hesitation in leaving an unhappy school situation without a paddle and all that. I remember someone telling me I would regret leaving without a paddle. Well, I disagree. I’m paddle-less and happy as hell. What I would regret? Being unhappy, fitting the mold of how others want me to be, letting friends and family talk me out of what I really want to do to make them happy versus living a fulfilled life. Reading this I have mixed feelings, and it makes me happiest that these days are in the rear-view mirror. Even though I’ve been president/ceo/coo/sexy title of several companies now, I’ve never forgotten how mean some people were back in my school days and of course I won’t forget the nice ones. If similar situations comes up again in my entrepreneur life, I won’t be surprised because I’ve experienced this before. Yes as usual before any book is published this would go through editing lol.

I’ve been working on this for a long time, over a year. I started looking at the national website for pledge training type stuff. Then emailing other Pledge Trainers, Rush programs for over a year because I knew this was a position I wanted to be in at some point. The first time I ran for it I didn’t get it. The second time? I won and I was beyond geeked. A dream come true.

This summer I’m really cracking down.

This is what I’m currently doing.

I can’t even tell you how many hours I’ve spent in different webinars, bootcamps, and reading Ive done to better prepare me for all this. I’m learning skills in different areas that I might find helpful in the future. Yes reading. I don’t read. I read Lean In for Graduates. I found that book extremely helpful. (YOU SHOULD READ IT.)

I’m reading articles like (yeah there’s a lot but they are really good). I can’t post them all here, but I’ve looked at over 100. P.S. I recently got a LinkedIn account and the stuff on their is amazing. (P.S. To you anonymous users looking on my profile, “you can be tracked.” Google “You can be tracked” and you will see it for yourself. Haha! I’m not going to give away my secrets. If I really wanted to find out I’ll look. Just know if I look on your LinkedIn you will know, it will say Alesha viewed your profile. I wouldn’t be that damn weird and say anonymous. This is not Facebook. I obviously want to get to know you if I take a peek. Let’s connect.)

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140723011209-6508011-how-to-not-cry-at-work

https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140723153802-322859590-youth-vs-experience-how-to-succeed-as-a-young-manager

https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140723043620-3068488-7-management-principles-that-have-worked-for-me

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130128162711-15077789-11-simple-concepts-to-become-a-better-leader

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140803153010-
23370896-leaders-develop-leaders

https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140620173251-
1011572-why-leadership-development-doesn-t-produce-good-leaders

https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140804024204-136191530-just-because-men-aren-t-asked-this-question-doesn-t-mean-women-shouldn-t-answer-it

http://leanin.org/news-inspiration/is-fear-your-only-restraint/

http://leanin.org/news-inspiration/8-ways-to-boost-your-confidence-what-no-one-ever-tells-you/

https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140804144342-11244751-want-to-build-trust-speak-less-and-listen-more?trk=mp-details-rc&_mSplash=1

I was worried for a second because I was highly distracted this summer. I had family situations going on on more than one occasion. These are the times that I did not post that on Facebook. My friends saw enough of that during Spring 2014. However, I did post the relaxing times of me traveling and going away to Kings Island to get a break from everything. I personally wanted to get even more done sooner. Sounds like overkill, but me being PT might be my 1st and only e-board position. I’ve waited too long to get this position and I’m not going to take it for granted. I’m not sure what the future holds for me. I’m not even sure if I’ll be on a eboard again or have a chance to run. Just because you run doesn’t mean you will win. As hard as a eboard job can be, I don’t ever forget that there are many people who ran for positions throughout the semesters and didn’t get the chance. But whatever the case might be, I want to do a great job. Even if things don’t turn out the way I planned. At least I try. I’ll give it 100%.

My list of lessons learned before I become pledge trainer (or should I say that I know now with duties starting really soon! YAYY!)

Let people help you. I can’t even begin to tell you how many great
ideas my rush-co chairs have come up with. Instead of being a tyrant, I hear all their ideas out, then we try them. We never know unless we try. With them, they can make the rush co-chair a better position in my chapter, and in turn they are making me a better PT for it. And for that I thank you.

I’m facing my fears. I want to say for the record that getting on
roller coasters is petrifying, but beautiful. If I can face my fears on
roller coasters, I can face my fears being a pledge trainer and everywhere else in my life. I’ll face problems instead of running away from them.

Take Initiative. I’m not a micromanaging type of leader at all. It makes like easier by giving people tasks and not being a control freak and trying to do everything. The times I step in is if I see something isn’t getting done. It would look really bad if you purposely let the ship sink and not do something. Or try to do something.

Develop Leaders as a Leader: I’m not going to be around all the time, I want people around me to be able to run things if I’m not there. Also, this is important to me. I want to add value and make an positive impact. There is a lot of future eboard members around me. :)

Give someone else the glory. It’s not going to make me any less of a person by letting someone else have the spotlight.

Disagreement with my ideas can lead to better ones. Just because you don’t agree with something, doesn’t mean your a bad person. I find myself being the only one with a different view in the room. I speak up anyways, and encourage others to do the same.

Mistakes will happen. Acknowledge them. I see and think of challenges before they happen. It’s ok. Things won’t run smoothly all the time. I’ve learned to work under high stress levels. I’m not afraid to admit I’m wrong and asking how I can make it better. It annoys me that some people in my life have these inflated egos that are out of this world. They know everything and everyone around them knows nothing. After being talked down to, insulted, told that I’ll never amount to much, I promised myself if I’m ever given a position of power I won’t abuse people with it. It’s easy to let it get to your head. It’s hurtful to be abused by power and I don’t want to ever be that way.

Taking hits and criticism and continuing to do your job: Regardless of what’s happening with me personally, emotionally, I hope I show everyday that I do care. I’m not going to slack off on my job(s) bc my world is crashing. I’ve done it before. If it ever becomes too much for me to handle, I’ll just let my circle know and step aside. People have told me how stressful it is. I welcome the pledge trainer stress any day. This is not as bad as funerals, family emergencies, and less than ideal college situations, TRUST ME.

I also want to say I’ve been accused of being addicted to the iPad and computer by my family. I was also extremely distracted. They underestimate how much of a big deal it is, and how much it means to me. I suppose sitting on my ass and performing magic tricks will get PT stuff done eh? Rooms won’t get booked on their own, rush duties won’t get done by me singing abracadabra, meeting slides and the pledge packet won’t get done by me snapping my fingers. I’ve found a way around it. No one is up between 2 am to 6 am. I will get the jobs done one way or another regardless if people around me support me or not.

Take charge of personal growth: I’m learning about leadership everyday. If you start the process, and keep at it, it becomes habit and actually becomes fun.

Shut up and Listen. If you talk, how can you hear what people are
telling you?

Communicate: I won’t assume people know things unless I tell them directly. And if there’s a problem, talk to the person directly and not everyone else around them.

Show that I’m human: I’m actually crazy. I get on rides that scare
me and I pull pranks. My team knows that. If they don’t, they will find out. I’m not a huge crier but if it happens, it happens. Secret: some things do hurt but I’ve learned to have tough skin. I’m headed in a entertainment industry that isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and it will knock you down and keep you there if you let it. Secret 2: Just because someone says they are ok doesn’t mean they are ok. Hug people. Hug me. It’s needed now more than ever nowadays.

Get rid of personal agenda. Picking the people that’s on our pledge team (pledge trainer buddies) was hard. It’s not about me, it’s about my future pledges. I had to cut people I like and I really care about. I went against myself. The bottom line, we couldn’t pick everyone and had to make some extremely hard choices. I used to wonder why I was never picked for “PT Buddy” and after going through that I’ll never question it again.

Keep calm. Even with the best intentions, things can sometimes not go the way we want. As long as we are a united front, and try to be better next time, things will be ok. No one wants things to go wrong during their time on eboard but if you never failed, you never lived. What’s not ok is completely dropping the ball.

I also looked up some training (the same training that trained BGR, and other student orientations across the country.) I saw this Noda website (nodaweb.org) on several websites for college gold rushes (freshman orientation programs) and I was like “Bingo.” I’m not sure if I’ll have the chance to be involved in a student orientation type organization, but I’m finding what I’m looking for slowly but surely.

Books: This will be the most I’ll read all year, I should make it good. I looking at this book called Confidence Code. I really loaded up on John C. Maxwell books. I’m going to recommend people around me do the same. The stronger the team the better. :)

I’ll have a follow up blog at the end of my reign as Pledge Trainer
“Lessons I’ve Learned as Pledge Trainer.” That will be a long ways down the road. I’m stoked for the journey. Thanks for reading.

ABCs I’ve recently come across:

Take the A-and accept the challenge
The B-and believe in ourselves
The C-convert our thoughts into hopes
The D-the determination to convert our hopes into dreams
We should E-expect some obstacles on the way up
And F-fight while we’re faithful and finish the course
We should G-get God on our side
And H-have a Harvey model of leadership
We should I-inspire someone else
And J-take Jesus on our journey
We should K-keep on keeping on
And L-be a leader
We should M-make everyday count
And N-never give up!
We must O-overcome our obstacles
And P-put our best foot forward
We must Q-quit quitting
And R-run the race with patience
We must S-strive on
While T-trusting in The Lord
We should U-use our talents
And V-value our time
We should W-wait for understanding
And X- x-ray our own lifestyles
We should Y-yearn to achieve all that we seek
And Z-be zealous when reaching the top!
AMEN!!

By the way, it’s time for a change. (https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140730203307-4280659-the-art-of-self-awareness-in-making-positive-change)

-Alesha

Hello! I’m Alesha! I’m a musician, actress, entrepreneur and writer. Follow on Twitter. If you like what I’m writing, give me a heart and share! :) I like hearts.

-Alesha

Howdy! Entrepreneurship, fitness, music, acting, real estate, tequila & investing is sexy. Idea for an article? Suggestions wanted! https://bit.ly/AleshasTribe

Howdy! Entrepreneurship, fitness, music, acting, real estate, tequila & investing is sexy. Idea for an article? Suggestions wanted! https://bit.ly/AleshasTribe