Did my title get you to open up this article? I hope not. Let’s get right to it. Save your congratulations for later because it’s not that kind of article. I wanted to publish this on my birthday…I actually should be out right now the day before celebrating, but I wanted to spend my 23rd of May writing and being in nature instead.
I stole this from another article that I published today.
Just for disclaimer: I’m in a happy relationship with a guy! But what I don’t like is people trying to hook me up with their nephews, sons, god sons etc. Or mettle because I choose to keep this aspect of my life private. A guy has never defined me or do I need a relationship to feel complete. I very much like living my life on my own terms, not on other people’s terms. My place is wherever I want to be, and you will very much see me do things on my own WITHOUT HIM. The one thing I wasn’t going to do is be suffocated or settle for a relationship just for the sake of having one.
So for Christ’s sake. I need everyone in my life to calm the hell down on this. 10 years ago they were annoying the hell out of me about what college I’m going to, now it’s who’s by my side. If I decide to get married and have kids, I’ll let you know. It’s my choice, not yours. AND JUST A REMINDER. I LOVE DOING THINGS BY MYSELF.
I REALLY LIKED reading this article and I’ll reference it forever.
Living Single: I May Never Get Married-and I'm Fine With That
"I may never get married," I said. At 22, what seemed like a statement of fact to me brought a look of horror to the…
Ebonie, I’m with you.
Let me give you a background on me:
- I was the only child growing up. Doing things by myself is second nature. I don’t feel weird doing things on my own. On the other hand, I don’t like asking permission. If I want to create a business, I just do it and see how it works out. I’m not going to ask “Is it ok to do this?” HUGE NO NO for me. I love people, but I’m not gonna wait for permission either.
- I’m a independent free-spirit, and I can’t stand the idea of being suffocated. Sitting at home all day will drive me crazy, and I need to get out of the house to feel productive. I dated guys at school who would text me 10 times in an hour and it drove me batty. I’m attracted to someone who can be their own full person (which I couldn’t find for the longest time my goodness).
- I look at my other friends and who are engaged, and married, AND I’m happy for them. HOWEVER I don’t daydream and think “Omg I wish I was married like they are”. I’ve witnessed plenty of marriages from afar and it’s hard work (I even hear some couples complain about their marriages to me, ehhh isn’t that something that you two should be discussing?). I don’t go to weddings questioning or thinking I’m missing out on something. I don’t compare myself to other people and I’m not a keep up with the joneses kind of girl. I’m in my own world sometimes (literally I take nature trips with my dog, and there’s no people out here and IT’S SO PEACEFUL. My grandpa used to spend weeks out here and no one heard from him, I’m not that bad lol I’ll send texts out saying Yo I’m alive. With no Wifi it’s nice.)
4. I travel A LOT for acting and business. I’m sometimes in 3 different states in 3 different weeks (or days). I’m also a creative person that explores my interests. I’ve noticed I’ve been able to pick up different instruments and play them with ease now a days, and I’m really productive when I’m in my own world.
5. I’m financially free. I have a good mix of time for money projects (film, commercials) and money for time projects (real estate, startups, network marketing, etc). (If anyone know of more opportunities, message me, I’m always looking to learn and expand).
6. I’m engaged with life.
By no means am I perfect, but I tell my family and friends is what they see is what they get. I have been consistently and authentically me.
You are probably reading this, and thinking shit. How can I be in a relationship with a guy? Good question, sometimes I wonder that myself with the long distances. In all seriousness, I can be a team player. The biggest turn off is the thinking that you have to be with someone to have a purpose in life. If it’s something you want, fine. If not, FINE. What’s worse than being single is being with someone you hate. And waking up 40 years later thinking why did I listen to everyone else and not live my most authentic life? Did I marry this person because I wanted to or because I was expected and pressured to?
Here lately, like I said above, I have more and more people asking if I’m dating a guy, as if that’s my only purpose in life is: find a guy, get married, have kids. The more people ask, and the more people pressure, the less I want to get or be married. Ariana posted this wonderful response to a twitter user about her relationship.
You go girl. We really gotta stop blaming women for men’s inability to keep his shit together. They blame women quite a bit and expect us to be everything to everybody.
In my case, how dare people attempt to determine my self-worth based on someone else, especially men. My thing is to do things that make me happy, not what makes others happy. It’s like being self aware enough to choose what you want instead of going along with what’s chosen for them. I’m not suggesting that others can’t add to my happiness. What I’m saying is you shouldn’t seek happiness outside yourself, or give someone that power over you. It should be something that’s inside of you first.
My aunt recently mentioned that I missed my chance at being married with Prince Harry (long story cut short, I’ve done business in the UK and we never met but we hung out in the same areas apparently?). I disagree. He is with the right person and I love Meghan Markle. Our American princess! Woot woot!
I was glued to the TV and they really seem to be in love and that’s great. I’m happy she found her prince.
If I ever walked down the aisle, that is the lady I want to be like. A year ago I didn’t know who she was really, but that changed with all the headlines. The more I learned about her, the more I really respected her. And surprisingly we have several things in common. Pointing out that we are both private school girls lol.
She came into the marriage a full complete person, her own career and own money, that just happened to fall in love with another full person. I think my biggest issue I have with some women around me is they wait for a man to live their life. I know people who won’t travel, volunteer, buy a house or do anything unless they have a guy. Yet I see my guy friends living it up like no tomorrow, and some of my girls waiting (I’m like what in the world). Being married/or engaged makes them somebody, versus having their own identity and living their own life regardless if they were single or in a relationship. To each their own. I’ve always been turned off by people who introduce me to somebody just because. Another important note: Meghan was introduced to Harry by a friend who was looking out for her. The people I know tried to introduce me to guys that are not good at all. We are different people and not on the same wavelength (if I say any more, I’ll be considered mean haha). I’m also turned off by the “Aw you would be so cute with my son comments.”
I’ll stop there like I said because if I said anything else…..but Dr Phil said a quote once that really stuck out to me “If the cost of being half of a couple is to stop being all of who you are, the price is too high”.
I’m not desperate and I’m not stopping my life for a male, ever. Now you might check back with me in a year or two. I might be in the relationship still, I might not. Who knows and who cares? I don’t even post my relationship on social media, but if you posted your couple photos on social media? I’ll like those photos.
Like Ebonie mentioned, they make you think that being single is the worst thing in the world, and it’s not. And as a woman, if you are not interested in marriage or kids something is wrong with you. I’m not saying I won’t ever have kids or anything. I don’t want it right now. And it’s my choice.
I may get married. Might not. My next step is what I want it to be.
Hello There! I’m Alesha! I’m going to change up my bio (kind of long because my LinkedIn profile was recently restricted-Not sure why this happened, but just to get an idea of what I’ve done).
Hello There! I’ve been involved in different businesses in several different capacities from being ceo, coo, co-founder, and more. I’ve learned so much from creating businesses, and I look forward to all the learning experiences I will have from starting new ventures.
With one business I was involved with, we made it possible to install a little device with customized hardware and a SaaS solution implemented to the router, the business owner was able see live data about social media info collected.
With another company, we had professional internet marketing company that focus on digital marketing campaigns, services and jobs such as SEO, PPC, Online Reputation Management, and social media marketing.
With EYT, I oversaw day-to-day operations and keeping the CEO apprised of significant events;Yes I actually talk with my business partner on a daily basis. I created operations strategy and policies; Communicated strategy and policy to employees and interns; Fostering employee alignment with corporate goals; and overseeing human resource management. I also delegate tasks to my team.
My current project is Bones’ Custom Guitar. We create custom guitars for musicians with imported wood. No one Bones’ guitar is the same. We also repair guitars. Jared, my band mate came up with the idea and foundation for Bones’.
Long story cut short. I’ve been playing gigs and booking shoots. My go to guitar, Blu Blu broke during this. When I went to get it repaired in Indy getting it fixed cost way more than the actual cost of the guitar.
It didn’t seem right. After talking with other musicians in Indianapolis, Chicago, Nashville and other cities for second opinions they thought the shop was trying to pull a fast one. So our mission is to offer fair prices for repairs and custom guitars for fellow musicians.
We are both Indy & LA based.
My biggest project currently? I’m also involved in entertainment as an actress, founder, and producer. We are currently producing 2 film projects with one of them having 1 million in financing.