I'm Not Sure What To Title This

As I write this article, it's surreal to think that the deadliest mass shooting in US history happened in Las Vegas. It's happened so much that it's hard for me to process. Just a little FYI: I have experienced several deaths this year (with one happening this September 2017). To keep it together I emotionally detach. And turn off the television. This sounds really bad but I sometimes don't know how to process with what is happening in the world (specifically the US). My mom accuses me of tuning things out when I should pay more attention. I need mind breaks. Guilty as charged for escaping to nature or the beach cell phone turned off to get away from it all.

I just heard as I'm writing this that there's been more deaths from major mass shootings in the past 5 years than it has been in the past 45 years (not including the # of shootings that happens everyday that doesn't get news coverage). I might have to go back and rewrite that because I literally just heard it on the news, and that the first mass shooting happened in Texas in 1966? I'll go back through this because my thoughts are scattered, I'm reading so much information that my mind is spinning.

The very first thing I did today was check in my Las Vegas friends to make sure they were ok. Thank goodness that a friend got right back with me. Like many of you, I learned by watching on television.

The first mass shooting that I remember briefly was Columbine (I was in 4th grade). It was only after 9/11 that I realized how serious these matters were. I asked my mom "yenno they are covering 9/11 alot. Why?" Then after a while the 6th grader in me understood. Then as the years went by, mass shootings started becoming common place. I always find myself asking why?

It's hard to know what to do or if it will ever end. Just 16 months ago, Orlando was considered the most deadliest mass shooting.

As mass shootings occurs, our television and newsfeeds are flooded with articles, tips on what to do, how to help, etc. . I watched the local Channel 13 news today. The advice the mental health specialist gave to the interviewer? To turn off the TV with the continuous footage and talk to people around you about how you feel. Thank you for not making me feel so bad for zoning out and being in my world of filming and music.

As I mentioned above, I'm also a musician and actress. I plan on performing at festivals, stadiums, shows, conferences, you name it. The list of artists associated with violent tragedies scares me (Jason Aldean, Ariana Grande, Eagles of Death Metal).

I can't imagine what these artists experienced when the unthinkable happened at their concerts. I really admire them for their bravery to continue performing and speaking out. As I was reading this article on trama and healing, this question kept popping up in my head: are people still supportive when the news coverage stops and it's still affecting you?

Nicki Minaj is right: we can’t operate in fear. At the same time I’m cautious and I do find myself looking for exits when I go to concerts and public events as a fan.

I'll write (and edit) more when more comes to mind.

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Send a message here if you want a free song or if you want to collaborate: https://sonicashes.bandcamp.com. I especially meet up with Indianapolis and Miami artists during the day, but I also travel to other places.



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