I'm reading your story and it sounds similar to mine! I was there for my so called friends for many years, but when I needed it, it was no where to be found. I realized my role of being the strong one in my circles and I bite the bullet. I see things for what it is, not for what I wish for them to be. I felt seen in the comment section by this comment. And I'm sticking with the animals too. They don't gossip or get jealous when you have different goals or are on a different wavelength.