Ladies, Please Maintain Your Own Financial Identity

Alesha Peterson
8 min readOct 4, 2020


To be blunt, I was very stupid when it comes to finances in college.

(I probably should say “came” but I wanted to put it in a present tense. Since it’s my first hand experience.)

Managing money? I was good in. I should not have believed in people, and should have explored more financial options.

When I was younger, I believed the story that a scholarship that was given to me was without strings attached. I didn’t think people could be so cold and cruel-hearted. They told me the lies.

“As a minority in stem, we are gonna set you up for success”

I should have ran for the California Hills then and not look back then. Many diversity programs I’ve come across are halfhearted and for show. I generally avoid them to avoid being labeled and stereotyped. I definitely got “set up” alright: Not only was I treated like I was stupid on multiple occasions, there was so many strings attached it wasn’t worth being bothered with.

My school at the time didn’t care that the ship was sinking in my life-they made sure to keep filling up water in my boat. My 60 second summary is here.

Found this picture through Rolli’s posts.

At 22 I learned the hard way to not depend on any one, any man for my financial well-being. No matter how lovey dovey it gets, ladies protect your finances and assets. Keep adding on income streams. If people don’t know you have it, they can’t ask for your money.

My real life is a 360, 390 difference. When I left school behind, that’s when 99.9999999 of the racist incidents stopped.

Like most people, they gave up on me and took my scholarship quicker than I can say boo. I’m going to keep reading Rolli’s posts for more of these photos.

This past year, people have been and continued to freak out over not having enough money to pay bills, keep their businesses and so forth due to Covid-19. Many people have been laid off their jobs, and they are not sure when or if their jobs are going to return.

I faced something like this back in school, which is why I’m not freaking out like 3/4 of the world is. I was wondering and worried if I was gonna get dumped out. My college organizations got mad at me when I wouldn’t buy this or that. I kept my cool throughout this time period.

When acting jobs slowed down this year, I was calm.

I don’t have money problems.

Bills are paid in full.

I know everyone doesn’t have it like that, but I remember it being like that at different periods throughout school and can relate to their situations during this pandemic.

When I accidentally broke my phone on September 12th, I didn’t freak out or have a nervous break-down because I didn’t have my main phone. I just used a cheap phone and old phones to check Facebook-but really I wasn’t missing much. Keeping up with others too much is for the birds anyways.

RIP Galaxy A10e. You were good to me in the short few months we had together and your untimely demise.

*Update: My A10e is fixed. It came back to life.

I just saw how people are early in life and proceeded accordingly.

I just realized the message that we received about school being the only way to wealth was well-intentioned but way off. The message that I and ladies everywhere to get married for financial stability and combine money with our spouses is a huge no no for me.

Depending on someone outside of me didn’t end well.

Why do it again? Exactly.

It’s interesting, I read some articles that suggest that you make sure that your financial and professions pursuits don’t get in the way of your friendships (or something along those lines) It suggests to be aware what you are sacrificing.

Fair enough.

I want to present this argument.

Would these same friends that your nurturing the friendship with let you borrow rent money if you needed? Or let you sleep on your couch? Or would they act like most people and start avoiding you when you ask them for something?

Develop a thick skin. Have grit. Life is tough, and most people are attracted to someone who will be by their side as they ride it out.-Leah Njoki

I’m not saying don’t nurture friendships. Sometimes, you just have to get yourself from the bootstraps and save yourself. If your friends can’t understand that you are taking time away to better yourself and your position, THEN THEY ARE NOT FRIENDS. If they are any kind of people they will ride the storm with you. What I’m saying is make sure you have your own money and place to go to. People are people. They will say that they will help you when you don’t need it. And say one thing and do the other. No matter what they say, they will get tired of you asking for money, sleeping on their couch, eating their food no matter how good of friends they are to you.

When I saw this article, it just sent a friendly reminder down my spine. I’m not married and don’t plan on ever being married. But it’s sound advice.

I was crazy to ever believe that someone was going to give me something for nothing. I quickly returned to my entrepreneurial roots after that horrific school experience and to this day, I continue to look for more income streams to the ones that I already have.

My experiences makes me extra hesitant to ask for help even if I need to, so I don’t ask friends for jack shit unless it’s an emergency. (It literally gotta be the difference between life and death before I consider).

Sure I have a group of friends I lent money to tell me I can borrow from them whenever I need. With that people are people. I can guarantee they would get tired of it too if I hit them up every week for money, let’s get real.

I’m always looking for my next new businesses to learn about.

Becoming rich is not about showing off – building a mansion and driving a Lexus – though material rewards can be fun.

The real reason to pursue wealth is the freedom it gives you... and the happiness that comes from that freedom.

Wealth allows you to do and be what you want, to support worthy causes and help those closest to you.

Wealth enables you to follow your dreams, to spend your life the way you choose.

That’s why every man and woman should strive to achieve some level of financial freedom. -Bill O' Reilly/Alexander Green

Why am I on this relentless pursue of all this? I’ve had a taste of having multiple income streams. Once your mind is expanded and stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions. Once you have your own, you don’t have to answer to NO ONE- I’m my own b****

Photo credit goes to Giphy

A Millionaire I Gotta Mention

People of course know about Madam CJ Walker, but Mary Ellen Peasant’s story is just as thought-provoking. In the 1800s, Pleasant became one of the first African-American female self-made millionaires. She was mostly an enterprising woman who started from stratch, yet cleverly amassed a fortune and broke barriers.

Recommended Books

There’s so many “great books to read posts” on Medium that instead of creating a whole separate article, I’m gonna put them at the bottom of my articles.

Millionaire Next Door By Thomas J. Stanley


They investigate how people get wealthy and found those who drive luxurious cars and live in affluent neighborhoods often don’t have a large amount of wealth, because they spend it on status. They are usually in debt from keeping up with the Joneses. Wealth isn’t how much you can spend, but the assets you accumulate.- Jessica Lynn

  • Wealth isn’t how much money you spend, but the assets you accumulate overtime.
  • Most millionaires are new money-they didn’t inherit it.
  • You don’t have to be smart to be rich.
  • As the old quote says, don’t judge a book by it’s cover and don’t judge a person by the car they drive.
  • If you live paycheck to paycheck you’re not rich. Being wealthy is financial independence.
  • If you spend everything you earn, that’s not wealthy-that mean you are a slave to your things.

Millionaire Traits

  • They live below their means aka they don’t spend all the money they earn.
  • They drive normal cars. They don’t go overboard on the expensive tennis shoes. They don’t wear clothes that draw a lot of attention.
  • They are good at recognizing opportunities and jumping on them.
  • They don’t care about keeping up with the joneses. They care more about the freedom and independence wealth provides them.
  • They have their own businesses/self employed
  • They make their own investment choices.
  • They have so much dough they don’t have to work for years. Some don’t have to work for the rest of their lives, and this leaves them time to participate in causes that mean a lot to them.

Have I seen people inherit money and become rich? Sometimes. Have I seen a few here and there get the Lamborghini? Of course. But the list above hits the target.

Think And Grow Rich By Napoleon Hill


Duh. Reading this is a no brainer. (Jessica Lynn’s article also have some great suggestions in it, so read that when you get the chance)

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.

Your greatest success will often come just one step beyond the point at which defeat had overtaken you.

When riches begin to come, they come so quickly, in such great abundance, that one wonders where they came from.

Set your mind on a definite goal and observe how quickly the world stands aside to let you pass.

Wishing will not bring riches. But desiring riches with a state of mind that becomes an obsession.

When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rework your plans, and keep trying toward your goal.

“One of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quitting when one is overtaken by temporary defeat.

You are the master of your destiny.

“An intangible impulse of thought can be “transmuted” into its physical counterpart.”

The starting point of all achievement is desire.

“A burning desire to be and to do is the starting point from which the dreamer must take off. Dreams are not born of indifference, laziness, or lack of ambition.”

Call To Action

Since it’s 2020, a new decade 🔥🙌 I’ve decided to slightly change how I sign off.

If you like what you’ve read, please recommend it so others can read it as well. Please tell me what you want me to write about here!

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Interested in what I done? Check out my LinkedIn profile I barely use lol. I’ll update it to add the new current businesses I’m working on one of these days.



Alesha Peterson

Howdy! Entrepreneurship, fitness, music, acting, real estate, tequila & investing is sexy. Idea for an article? Input wanted!