My Love Languages Are When

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I saw this on Nedra Tawwab’s Instagram and I loved it. After doing a little digging, I saw that she was inspired by @ mindfulmft ⁣⁣.

I love

love

love

love!

I wanted to make my own, but include a few of these at the end. 3 of them really hit me to the core.

Some of these are funny, and some of these are not relationship-ish, but you get the point.

#1. When people cook me food. Or take me to a restaurant.

The key to my heart is my stomach. I won’t lie. I had an epiphany when I had my surgery. Couldn’t eat for months. Now I won’t ever take food for granted again. It takes it being taken away from you for a bit to really appreciate something. Sometimes when something is taken from you, you don’t get it back. In my case I was fortunate enough so it could come back. It came back.

#2. When people’s intentions are genuine. (And they do something to be nice, not to get something out of it).

Here lately, I’ve come across people that want to get credited with everything. Sometimes it’s not gonna happen. Or they get you a drink and they think they are entitled to your body (some FELLAS I knew!!!). Whatever happened to being nice to just be nice, and go on with your business? I’ve supported people for years, and they don’t even know it’s me. I bought a relative’s product recently to support her business, and she has no idea. I want to stay that way as long as possible.

If your intentions are genuine, you will get good things happening for you naturally.

I had someone drop a rich relative’s name one time to get in a basketball game. They claimed that they wanted to support them. If you wanted to support them, why didn’t they just BUY the ticket and not mention that you are related at all? It’s one thing if they told you to do that. Or if you are on a VIP list of some sort. BUT. In this case, you are trying to gain favor by using someone’s name, and that’s not cool.

There’s so many people that try to latch on to you when they think you have something, and it’s hard to find people whose intentions are genuine.

There’s so many bloodsuckers that want to latch on to you and ride your bandwagon.

#3. When people say thank you

It lets me know if you like it, want me to get it for you again or what? By saying nothing it’s telling me you didn’t appreciate it.

#4 You say what you mean and you mean what you say.

After reading this in the early morning, or late at night it doesn’t make sense haha. I cannot stand people who cannot say what’s on their mind directly to the source. In other words, talk behind your back. My friends know if I have an issue with them, I address with them directly.

Apparently I didn’t follow through through out my time in Alpha Phi Omega, but it was never communicated to me directly. I’m not a mind reader. So I wonder now if it was a way to sabotage me because I wasn’t a white male. My experiences outside of school has been so different.

If you can’t follow through on a commitment or have to cancel dinner plans, communicate it. Don’t not show up and leave someone high and dry. As a friendly reminder, I cannot read minds.

#5 When you turn off the TV at night. Keep the cell phone lights away from me while I’m sleeping.

Those lights really mess with my sleep. I make it a point to not look at a cell phone screen two hours before sleep (it doesn’t always happen like that but at least an hour).

#6 When you root for others successes

It takes a really secure and big person to walk away from the gossip instead of joining. Not hating and rooting for others success speaks volumes about you. There’s nothing wrong with friendly competition and wanting something that someone else has. Instead of hating, get to work.

I’m stealing 3 of Nedra’s on purpose.

#1. People listen (to understand) when I speak.

#2. People ask me “How are you” and are truly interested in the response.

#3. People allow for differences (in who we are) without personalizing.

This is huge for me, because you gotta be careful not to fall in the “know it all trap”.

I know some people who got a formal education and they let it get to their heads. And they assume they know more than the person they are talking to, especially if they find out they have more degrees than the other person.

It’s really too bad to be this way, because you miss a opportunity to learn and connect with another person.

Let’s be honest. They hound it down our throats for so long, that when some of us get the formal education, some of us get cocky. Nobody can tell them nothing at this point, because you achieved what people told you what you supposed to achieve growing up.

It’s not about proving that you’re smarter than someone all the time. It’s ok to be wrong, it doesn’t make you stupid.

You don’t have to out talk people or outsmart people all the time.

You don’t have to rub your credentials in people’s faces every minute.

I have a formal education (and because we had a falling out I have a tendency not to talk about it and hang out with more college dropouts), but I also choose to be a lifetime learner. I don’t know everything, and that’s ok. The person across from me may have more knowledge on a subject than I do, college degree or not. And that’s cool. You’re not any less of a person because you don’t know something.

You gotta keep it in its proper perspective and not let it get to your head.

It’s also ok to disagree, and not take different viewpoints personally and as an attack against you. That’s what I love about this Nedra bullet point.

Friends in my life know they can safely disagree with me. I’ll listen to understand, not force my view or get you to agree with me. In this highly heated political environment, we lost touch with connecting with each other as humans, and instead resorted to chewing each other's throats. It sucks.

As a general rule, I try to avoid these topics. But in the unfortunate event? I’ll basically say:

Here’s my values. What’s yours?

Or

This is where I stand. Where do you stand?

And the key is to shut up the whole time while they are talking. No eye rolls. No looking on your phone. Actively listening. Then repeating what you heard to let someone know you’re listening. Not bullshiting someone and waiting for and opportunity to cut them off because you think you have the “better” way of thinking. No.

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Hello There! I’m Alesha! I’ve been involved in different businesses in several different capacities from being ceo, coo, co-founder, and more. I’ve learned so much from creating businesses, and I look forward to all the learning experiences I will have from starting new ventures. 2019 I’m excited to announce that I’m going to add more businesses to my portfolio. STAY TUNED! I’m going to introduce them sometime next year!

With one business I was involved with, we made it possible to install a little device with customized hardware and a SaaS solution implemented to the router, the business owner was able see live data about social media info collected.

With another company, we had professional internet marketing company that focus on digital marketing campaigns, services and jobs such as SEO, PPC, Online Reputation Management, and social media marketing.

With EYT, I oversaw day-to-day operations and keeping the CEO apprised of significant events;Yes I actually talk with my business partner on a daily basis. I created operations strategy and policies; Communicated strategy and policy to employees and interns; Fostering employee alignment with corporate goals; and overseeing human resource management. I also delegated tasks to my team.

With Bones’ Custom Guitar. We created custom guitars for musicians with imported wood. No one Bones’ guitar is the same.

The Wish Benefit Concert is a concert founded by Ayana Carter, Mel Sexton and Alesha Peterson. It’s privately held at Riley Hospital For Children.

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