Hey There! My name is Alesha! This was technically supposed to be my 17th post. Oh well. As I was posting, I found a whole slew of posts I missed from my 1st blog post. So I started over lol. You might read a few of my posts twice. I was trying to honor where I started after getting on Medium and whoops, In order to clearly understand my story, it’s best to read these in this order. It’s almost like reading chapter 4 then jumping to 15 lol. More in likely another mistake will happen. I even tried waking up at 4 am to play catch up haha. I thought I wanted to save these for a future book. I’ll stop posting the intros as soon as I stop digging from my old blog post bank. These are from 2014, a period from my school days. No edits (yet) but raw in nature. I never talk about school in my real world life. When people ask, I remain silent.
Now I got that from a game of thrones song because Im secretly interested in doing a cypher on a game of thrones beat.
Anyways, I like the title.
I recently went to a caregivers retreat. The questions that were asked: what do you need to do to change to live your life to the fullest and what is something you are currently doing to live your life to the fullest? Here is what I honestly thought.
1. Ditch college and ditch technology school.
2. How am I living on the edge now? Facing my fears and getting on coasters that petrify the crap out of me. I have a thrill for adventures that scare me. I’m not sure where this is coming from but it puts me in a happier place, something that’s not been the case lately.
They say if you don’t like something, do something to change the situation. Many people do not know this. And I probably shouldn’t be telling these stories.
I’m not getting a masters and I’m embarassed that a family member said that. (Other family member(s) keep name dropping my name at college events and I wish they stop.) I have a master skill of keeping a straight face while struggling, having a hard time, getting insulted, and being kicked down. Please know the difference. Geez. The bottom line is the downward spiril started my 1st semester. I probably shouldnt tell this story. As a 1st semester freshman, I asked my advisor at the time to not schedule me at 18 (then it ended up being 20) because I just got out of high school and I want to adjust to college level work. (COMMON SENSE). I don’t care that I came from a private catholic high school with a high GPA. I know there are many kick ass first semester freshman that can kill 18 hours. That was not me at all and I know my limits. I have emails from this. He told me I couldn’t because I was in a learning community and I would be dropped out of it. He also made me think I couldn’t drop classes at all even the ones I was struggling in. I would also say there were major miscommunications going on btwn me and him. I had no idea that department heads existed and you can go over someone to get classes dropped. I did not like this at all. I don’t know why he did this, maybe to see what I was made of with a combination of setting me up to fail but it wasn’t cool because in the end I paid for it and I still am. My first semester was a horrible semester on so many levels. I have many horror stories from that semester, but I’ll stop there. I heard this same thing was happening to other students. He is no longer there because they did something about it but the damage is done and not erasable. It led me on this path in just one year: from loving college to thinking it was the worst decision of my life. It led to a downward spiril, being overwhelmed to a point that I can’t explain anymore. (I’ve asked several people their opinion if I was indeed a stupid freshman or if I’m too hard on myself. They keep telling me yes that I’m too hard on myself and it was out of my control). Keep in mind when you are in college you are considered an adult and even if something isn’t directly your fault, it’s still is your fault. You take responsibility for it. (So needless to say I have a hard time trusting advisors. They ‘advise’ you on courses to take, doesn’t mean you have to follow them word by word. While I understand you have to have certain courses to graduate, you are taking the classes, not them. The grades you receive will go on your transcript, not theirs. I’ve went against my advisors plenty of times, because I know myself better than they do. Ive been in hot water, so I proceed carefully. 8/30). For anyone out there that’s been set up to fail and take the blame for it because you don’t want to look immature or blame other people. I feel your pain. If you want to hear more about my stories read “You Are All Cordially Invited To My Degree Burning Ceremony”and “My Head Is Not In The Sand” and if my friends that know me personally reading this and “You Are All Cordially Invited To My Degree Burning Ceremony” and “My Head Is Not In The Sand” are starting to think they know the whole story about why I don’t like college or don’t ever mention it or claim it guess what. You still don’t know everything. For everything that I’ve said in these posts there’s a lot more painful details that I’m keeping to myself. If you think this is a lot this is just the tip of the iceberg. I’m sometimes not sure if I ever want to go into full details with any of you. But I do claim my friends. I don’t like college and I don’t think I ever will like I once did but like I will always say in these posts I’m very fond of you. Just keep doing the things I’m not given the opportunity to do at that level and elsewhere and that will make me happy. Deal?
Here’s the other kicker. My mom graduated in 3 years and took 21 hours. Omg I’m not my mother’s daughter in that sense. I also will say that my major in technology is not focused on my strong points. My mom says I should stop being so hard on myself and my technology major is as tough as nails. I’m actually hard on myself in mostly all areas of my life, especially when I work out. T25. Insanity. Cross fit are some of my favorites and gets my mind off things. It’s an area of my life that shows hard work does pay off, do not look at my college for that, you will mostly be disappointed. (I want to say for the record that I work hard at everything I do, some places it shows, while in other areas like college work I feel like my hard work goes to waste, except my orgs. I’ll let them be the judge of that. 8/30.) I sometimes don’t know how I handle the pressure and getting your confidence wiped all over the floor. It’s not fun. I know people told me I’m inspiration because I’m perservering through the difficult times. Maybe one of these days I will look back at this time and say whoa I made it through all that. But going through heat right now, it’s not funny. It’s not fun walking around on a day to day basis hurting inside. I saw a quote on Jon Brownell’s wall: “Strength doesnt come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” I agree thats true I also find a special strength in letting go, knowing that enough is enough and you reached the end of the road. (In addition, the John C. Maxwell books I’ve been reading keeps telling me to reach for things out of your grasp because that is where you grow the most, even if people around you don’t see it. Oh dear. I have a decision to make, to hold on or let go. This is not working out well. )
I’ve even been told that people are jealous of me throughout the years. Jealous of what?!?!? Would you be able to deal with the pain, pressure and struggles that come with being me? Appreciate the gifts and talents you were given. You are unique and you were not put on earth to try to be someone else. I’ve secretly found it weird throughout the years that people that wasnt great friends with me went out of their way to find out what I was doing. It was a combo of trying to find out what I’m doing then knock me down. I work at improving myself everyday and I live life to the fullest. When i go through difficult times I’m not a huge crier; so i dealt/deal with it. My mom taught me that the only person I’m competing with is my self so I found people trying to keep up with me and trying to compete with me very odd. It’s humbling to think that some people put me on their petestals but I dont see it right now, especially at the moment. You should put yourselves on the your own pestestals, beautifuls. I dont think I deserve that. I do appreciate any and all the kind words, it’s really sweet and warms my hurting heart. I don’t want to take the support I receive for granted because some days I really question who would be there for me when the night lands.
I know some of those people up there at that place think I have a chip on my shoulder, I have a little attitude. Well yeah I do put a wall up between me and most people, when you been in and going through pain that’s what I do. I’ve had some professors tell me my work sucks, what is somebody like you doing here, amongst other things that is beyond belief; do you think crying in front of them and giving them that that satisfaction that they ripped me in two is going to help me? (I can’t tell if they see me as a easy target to pick on, if they are jealous and its thrilling for them to try to kick me down, if its attempts on their end to try to stop me from being successful, OR if its something I’m doing wrong. I will be the 1st to admit I made a mistake but a lot of times I take what they say and shove it up you know where. It sounds a little cocky but I’ve gotten to the point where Im Teflon, let it roll off. Even if its hurtful I won’t show them a reaction.) Dear friends that are reading this, I’m not a huge crier, but if it happens around you know that I really really trust you. I trust you anyways, but that is a side of me that has to be pulled out. There are many times in my life where I had to put a brave front and this is no different. Even with me being torn up I don’t show it and my friends dont notice. I keep telling you I hide things well.
To all my friends who got their degrees and are graduating or graduated (or on a path to graduating I might add): I’m proud of you. Thank you for being you. I’ve seen so many of my friends and family that didn’t make it. I’ve really admire the support you received because many of the times I don’t get the same love. Just keeping it real. Do this for me: don’t take your position for granted. It might be things I’m doing to get the treatment, I don’t honestly know. I look at things from different perspectives all the time. Yet, I have the courage to be who I am even though its not the popular choice, but vulnerable enough to love you and show you the support I don’t get. I usually don’t get all the “likes” but I don’t mind giving you the “likes” because you’re awesome. How would you deal with being sabotaged and trying to deal with things out of your control? Do you blame yourself and try to make a change or do you continue on a path of destruction that seems like it won’t end? (Im not going to walk in a place with a “whoa its me they are after” vibe regardless). I admire many of you out there more than you will ever know. If for some reason I don’t have a chance to tell you this.
I never meant to ever bother or annoy you lovely people. I do hug tight. (I’ve seen way too many friends our age, college aged, buried). I watch greatness from afar because I’m not cool enough to experience greatness like you did/do, especially at the college level. Any rare treasures I get (like PT) I cherish it like a [insert life changing experience here and/or treasure] because opportunities like this up there have been rare. 1 more thing that deeply means the world to me cut me out (and the other thing I wouldn’t get much funding or support on so I made hard choices) so if I appear to be cold or a little bit more quieter it’s not you I promise. I’m not going to take it out on you. I deal with being stabbed in the heart often. I do have a quiet side and I can be sensitive. Sorry to keep dragging on. But I want to say also. Please keep celebrating this HUGE accomplishment. It’s a big deal. I see you doing your thing. I love you. You’re great, keep shining sunshines.
(This is probably the 4th love poem I left for you in my posts. I just want to keep reminding you that you are loved. :D )
To those that tried, and left for whatever reason: I’m right there with you. No judgement passed.
I used to be the high schooler that wondered why some people took forever to graduate and how come some people graduated in 4 years. After being dragged through the mud myself, I understand your pain. I won’t question it again or question you the way people rudely question me. I had no intention of being in college this long. If you ever have been on the receiving end of grades due to unfair circumstances, I know what it feels like because it has happened to me. There’s people out there that don’t believe those sorts of things happen and see the stories as “invalid”, “false” or “lies” because they haven’t experienced it before. If you find yourself with no one believing you I will. There’s no end to how cruel some people can be. If you try and struggle and you think you’re at the end of your rope, I’m in the same club. To suffer in pain in silence I find you really brave and if you feel alone and isolated I’m sorry that you feel that way. Hugs. I’ll tell you three quick stories.
1. Long story cut short: At my grade school, some of my teachers used to adjust my grades on purpose just to see if my mom was paying attention to interfere with my chances of getting into high school. I did not act the way they wanted me to act (based on stereotypes) so they gave me a hard time. They made a 20 point mistake on several of my grades and took a scholarship away from me just to get back at my mom.
2. My only time I got a C- in English was my freshman year in high school. This lady prejudged me before she got to know me. No matter what I did or how well I did on assignments I always received the lowest passing scores. One time she met up with my mom for a parent-teacher conference and she had another person in the room because she thought my mom was going to attack her. My mom is not an attacking type, wow.
I scored at a college level on my Istep scores in grade school and English has always been my strongest subject. But this lady made sure my final grade in this English class was a C-. She asked my mom if she could talk to my other teachers to see what kind of student I was. The other teachers apparently told her how hard working and great of a student I was. For the rest of my high school career, she went out of her way to be super nice to me. Painfully nice. Her grade (along with several others that I had similar experiences with unfortunately) was one of the lowest I’ve received. For the rest of high school, I earned As and Bs in English. Senior year of high school I earned my best set of grades ever. The crazy thing is I ended up getting into my first choice and there were a element of people that still didn’t think I deserve to be there or get in. It probably still surprises them that I was super smart to get in the colleges that I did. My GPA was super high, I had more credits than I needed, and I was super involved. It’s sad that there’s some people out there that’s like that still. (Its also sad that they were implying that my achievements were false, that other factors got me into my first choice when it was hard work. No I did not take your kid’s spot.) Another important side note, I do talk about quite a bit that GPA isn’t important to me but to get into colleges, some orgs on campus, and grad school it is! Believe it or not, I was on team college during high school, not anymore. “You Are All Cordially Invited To My Degree Burning Ceremony”
3. The professor that sent a really nice email saying that he was looking out for me gave me a note threatening to fail me in the course right before the final exam. This semester was hard because I had a friend commit suicide and there were family issues going on. My mind was definitely other places, won’t lie. I’m not that great at taking tests since college and I get really nervous on them. That note obviously did not help me at all. We both confirmed later that I turned in the assignment on time by the way (and I had the proof of it too). It would be one thing if I was a slacker and didn’t turn it in at all. I went through a panic attack for nothing and my mind went blank. Maybe he could’ve given me the threatening note at the end after I turned my test in?
When you are at your lowest of lows, people really show who they are. I don’t know if this happens to anyone else out there, but some of the professors who claimed to be in my corner the most ended up giving me the biggest surprises at the end of semester-and I’m not talking about ice cream and cake. Some of my Christmases during college were indeed merry ones indeed (SIKE).
These are three of many stories. I’ve had my obstacles and I’m still trying to figure out my way through them. If you are going through setback after setback after setback after setback. You’re not alone. I’ve had people all my life try to knock me down and keep me from what I’m destined to do. Remember no matter what no one can stop you from doing what you are destined to do. I’ve found myself looking for support other places, that place is not the be all end all. I’m determined to be successful without them and I have a plan to do so. I’m just not saying anything to most people. Unfortunately, sometimes you share your dreams with people instead of support, they try to discourage you and tell you “that’s unrealistic.” I’ve experienced that vibe on many ocassions. So instead of telling people my dreams I’ll show them.
I look at myself all the time wondering what am I doing that’s stopping me from being all that I can be. Seriously. I can personally speak for myself and say I’m not the perfect college student and there are some things that I couldve done differently. (My mom says I’ll use my degrees, but I don’t think so. We made a bet). I’m around many that base my worth on me getting a degree that I’m not sure if I’ll ever use. If that wasn’t the case, then why do people hold it over my head and ask me all kinds of wild questions? One too many make my college their business way too much when they actually need to mind their own business. (It really depends on who asks, close friends sure but I always wonder about strangers and people not on the team). Maybe if I liked it more I would be talking about it more. My mom was telling me that someone asked her if I made straight As, and made the comment I wouldn’t be successful in life if I didn’t make straight As in college. When my mom asked her if she made straight As, she replied no. Who is this lady that I don’t know? Her opinions mean nothing to me. But several people out here think like her. We are programmed to think that there’s one way of success and if you don’t do what everyone else is doing then you’ve failed and you did something wrong. It’s hard to go against pressure put on you from family, friends and society. I’m going against what people are telling me yet I’m encouraged to function like a robot. Ironically, they tell me to do my own thing but then I do I face opposition. Interesting.
When you think different and go against the mold you will find yourself not fitting in many times & on your own like I find myself. (I sense that I get some of the treatment I get from quite a few my college friends and people I admire because I don’t like college like they do. Texts go unanswered, I’m ignored and I go unnoticed quite a bit. On that same note I’m not going to beg to be center of attention either. We may not see eye to eye and I might not get their support on this but I’ll never hate them because I love them still.) I’ve had to toughen up. I honestly wish people would stop trying to put unneeded and unnecessary pressure on me about college and leave me alone about that. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even answer anymore. I will not explain my college experiences to everyone I meet on the street. They don’t know my circumstances. I tell you people are so judgmental of something they haven’t been through and/or dont understand. I just want to say if you failed and you tried/are trying, you’re beautiful. You are not any less of a person because you failed at something. (On the other hand, as painful as they can be, we can all learn lessons from failure but we are taught to fear it. I know for me personally I get torn up and told how stupid I am and why I messed up. One time I messed up during a presentation during practice and the part that was just given to me the day before and it was taken away by my group in a class. It’s completely OK for others to mess up but let me make a mistake and I get the hammer thrown at me 10 times harder. Just making an observation and pointing out something I’ve experienced my whole life. )
You’re gorgeous for having the guts to try.
A broken and hurting heart to me is a beautiful heart. It shows that you love and tried without fear.
I’m thinking about making a song dedicated to you all. This might be called hidden pain not exactly sure yet.
For those people who say I have it easy and/or will say I have it easy. You have no clue. I just don’t whine or talk about how hard it is too often. People don’t like Debbie downers or negative Nancies. There’s no middle ground, you either win or you die. I think after having some college experiences, apart of me died.
I cant believe that the place I wanted to go to my whole life ended up being the place that caused a lot of pain; I realized early in life how cutthroat people could be, but I was hoping I could start a clean slate with college and that did not happen. I watched one too many of my friends suffer from mental illnesses do things to themselves and others that I won’t say in this post.
To 1st semester freshman (and other college students) that stumble across this post. I see so many enthusiasic students with bright smiles. It’s so cute. I hope you can keep your love and enthusiasm for college throughout. The chances of the things that happened me happening to you is more in likely won’t happen. A good portion of my friends had great college experiences, have graduated (or on a successful path to graduate) and are really happy. They say these are supposed to be the some of best days of my life. While I met people that changed my life for the better and forever (my bros save my life), for the most part I respectfully and painfully disagree. However. Don’t let my experiences determine yours. These are my stories, you are the authors of your own chapters in your book of life. If your college days are some of your best days, that’s awesome. I won’t crush your spirit the way mine has been crushed. I wish what happened to me on no one. I share my story to anyone that’s willing to listen to help keep them from going through the same pain. (I’ve managed to get my friends in orgs that I cant get myself in, and happy to do so. I don’t want no one feeling like I do or thrown away.) It’s painful, worst than any physical pain I’ve been through. I got a confession: I’m trying so hard not to take it for granted. (There’s people that I know that wanted to go to the same place I go to, but didn’t have the opportunity or didn’t get in.) I miss liking college like I once did and I don’t think I’ll ever go back to that happy place. The best way I can put it is the point of no return. A lot of them post saying how they love the place, and when they are not there they are missing it. I also run into some people that graduated saying they wish they were back in college taking classes. I see them dress their babies and pets in the gear, I see them posting about the support they received and how happy they are at their current majors and/or jobs. They make me proud. They are great examples that show hard work, drive, and persistence pays off. They will never know about nightmares I experience. I’m sure you will be fine.
I just try to offer you encouragement. I won’t ruin your excitement, or tell you how bad it was for me to scare you. Just reach for the stars.
I’ve received several emails since writing my posts “You Are All Cordially Invited To My Degree Burning Ceremony” and “My Head Is Not In The Sand”
For starters, thank you for taking the time to read my posts. It gives me a happy feeling. It makes me smile. Most of my views are coming off of Facebook. Thank you friends for reading, I love you all. My posts are starting to be read through news.google and I appreciate that my post are being promoted on different outlets. I also received a email about diversity from my college and other places. Call me an expert if you all want to but I won’t claim to be an expert in diversity or racism which is a challenging topic now more than ever. I really don’t have the answers you seek. (I did not live during the period of history when racism was a lot worst, or during slave times. While I admit that racist and unfair things have happened to me unfortunately, I live in a time where I have opportunities. I can’t imagine or claim to know what some of my black ancestors went through due to their skin color. Sure I can read about it in a book but there’s a big difference between living in those times and reading about it. The biggest thing I try to do is to move forward despite obstacles and unfortunate incidents. Just check out “My Head Is Not In The Sand” if you want to read more on my perspective. 8/30 I came across this article online http://www.dailydot.com/opinion/clueless-things-white-people-say-racism/ and I will say this: It’s human nature to not worry about things or not be sensitive to things that don’t happen to you..If you are tired of hearing about racism or say “they are overreacting”, you might be surprised to know I’m not angry at you. I wont fault you, because this is something you don’t have to experience or live day to day with. But put yourself in another person’s shoes, if you choose. To finish off, I’m tired of some people-not all there are angels at that hell-at my college & else where that tries to imply or tell me that I’m limited due to something I have no control over, my skin color. If I don’t limit myself then why in the hell do some of them do? I didn’t ask for special treatment, I ask for a fair chance to show what I got and many times it hasn’t worked out in my favor. When I do get the rare opportunity, I go all out and bend over backwards.)
There’s some questions that people have asked me that I found it hard to answer. But one thing I will add. Even though I dont make things a race issue, the race thing touches me. My mom taught me to not pick friends based on color. I’m just going to speak directly to you and not tip toe around the point I’m trying to make, if this offends any one out there sorry in advance. I rather ask forgiveness than seek permission. I notice more and more people have been saying things like why didn’t I go to a black college or are the orgs that I’m in have blacks in it only? Am I wearing a shirt saying all races except blacks avoid me? Did I say that I was uncomfortable with cultures or races different from my own? If I said I was uncomfortable, that’s one thing. But I’m not. I’ve love different cultures and races different from my own. I have the up most respect and I have an open mind to things I don’t know about. I’m not putting down my culture(s) by loving others. The world is not made up of one race and it really bothers me that people try to push me just hang around one kind of people. I come from a multi-racial background and all kinds of races run in my veins. I embrace all my cultures. Even if that is or isnt the case, there’s a special beauty that you get from learning about other cultures. I would be missing out if I limited myself the way some people try to limit me. What would it look like if I went to Rome saying “Hey this is new, strange, and very uncomfortable to me, since I’m the only one of my kind over here, change your ways to accommodate me.” If I’m in Rome, I’ll do what the Romans do, and gladly do it. I love getting out of my comfort zone and staying out of it. The saddest part in all this is I don’t get love from some of my own people (not just black FYI), when I was taught to love people and treat people the way I want to be treated. Some of the treatment I’ve gotten from college and else where I find it hard to wrap my mind around and come to grips with. I don’t understand. It makes me sad that some people I try to give love to is so hateful. In my mind, the human race is the race that matters. I’ll stop my side story for now, just food for thought.
Again, I also won’t claim to be a expert like my LinkedIn profile claims (I wish they had a jack of all trades option). Very sweet for you to say. Once again, I wont claim to have the answers. I’m not Google, I don’t know everything. I just had life experiences and situations that I can write about in posts, (perspective). I had to grow up early in life and my mom taught me life lessons during various situations. Everything is not going as planned especially in college but that doesn’t mean I have the right to be mean to people. I won’t take it out on other people or hurt the people I love I promise. With that being said, its still painful and its easy to let things make you bitter because I’ve seen it happen with some of my friends and family members, in the worst possible way. If you want to help me please reach out to people in pain and be there for them. Please. I’m OK doesn’t necessarily mean “I’m Ok.” We tend to be reactive instead of proactive. After attending funeral after funeral of people around my age, the conversation that usually came up is “what could I have done different, or maybe I should have reached out to them”? It’s too late for my friends that are gone (RIP) but if you notice someone isolating themselves, please reach out to them and encourage them to seek help. Be a friend to them. Like I said before, if you want to help me out the most from reading this post PLEASE reach out to someone in pain and don’t give up on them even if they don’t respond to you right away. I’ve been ignored by some people I admire and care for and trust me its the worst feeling to think people don’t care for you. Too many of us do not go out of our way to help someone else because we are into ourselves and our own lives. I wish I had a chance to reach out to my departed friends but I don’t. Take the chances I didnt have. So I’ll ask and beg over and over to please reach out to people that are emotionally hurting, please. You never know how much impact you can have on someone’s life and don’t even know it. I’m currently worried about a loved one who shut down all of their social media accounts because like me they had an extremely hard time in college and it’s a blessing I recently ran into them. To feel like the lowest form of life inside for not completing something you set out to do then face judgemental people is tough. I’ll go out of my way to help them. I see a past pattern(s) repeating itself in front of my eyes and its scaring me.
I write honest posts from the heart. I stay true to myself. I go deep in these posts because there’s a lot on my mind.
But I’ll be cutting back on writing these posts. I know, sad face. Not stopping of course, you may see fewer new posts. I have to bite my tongue and try to get myself together because I have to force myself to endure something I do not enjoy. I’m not excited about the idea of classes. Oh dear. I did take a oath to do a job close to my heart, its called PT. (Love is putting your org that you care about or others before yourself.) I will keep my word and do what I say I’m going to do even if I can’t stand my current situation. But the idea of going through a nightmare with my dream job is petrifying and making me go numb-doing things I don’t want to do but got to do 2.0. Oh dear. Getting on coasters putting myself in the air (I don’t do heights well, FYI) sounds more appealing at the moment. Speaking of that, I’m not happy I didn’t get on a spinning ride at the fair that would’ve taken me in the air and would had me screaming my head off. I did get on 3 of the highest rides but my dare devil side is making me feel bad. Sounds stupid I know. Also I’m upset that a ride at Canada’s Wonderland is going to roller coaster heaven. Rest in peace, SkyRider. I’m sad I’ll never get to experience you from the way it’s looking. :(
I’ll continue to come up with ideas for posts even during times I’m away. I do look at friend’s Facebook statuses for post ideas, and did write one after seeing a few. I don’t necessarily have to fully agree with a post but I do respect sayings that make me think. If I can write about it then it’s fair game.
Until next time, lovely people. Hopefully it doesn't take me forever to write up another one. If it does, sorry in advance and I hope the posts I didn’t promote as much and this holds you over. I went really deep and wrote down my most honest thoughts on several different topics on this one knowing that might be the case. I also have a travel blog at aleshapeterson.blogspot.com. May peace be with you all. As always, thanks for reading.
I hope all of your dreams come true.