Losing people and cherished things have been the theme for 2020
Thank you for all the memories Cactus! In my mind, I can't comprehend what I just read about you closing.
I'll keep my cups near and dear to me.
This was meant to be a music video, but I have footage from the Cactus in this video that I'll rewatch. I originally uploaded this 7 years ago (see link in video for details, it starts with JWTC).
I gotta be honest and say college gave me the blues. But going to the Cactus on Thursdays and Bclubs got my mind off things. You have no earthly idea.
If I really sit here and think about it, the Cactus was one of the few places on campus that really included me. I met so many of my friends at the Cactus.
Even in some organizations I was in, as time went on I began to notice both subtle racism and microaggressions.
People in my own majors even said “what is someone like you doing here.” They made it as uncomfortable as possible to make sure I knew that they didn’t want me there.
I had a pain in my side all through out school, and I ended up needing major surgery for it later. I wasn’t believed when I went to the doctors on campus.
I had quite a few friends and family members pass away while in school, and people at school wasn’t nice about it at all. They even took my scholarship after I told them that I was having a hard time dealing with the deaths.
I was not believed, and to them I wasn’t a human being. I was something for them to label and stereotype. They discarded me like an object.
I’m giving you the 60 second version of a longer more complicated story.
It’s to the point where I don’t acknowledge my former school’s existence anywhere on social media.
When all the bad things happened, I didn’t get mad. I didn’t take it out on other people. I didn’t get jealous of my peers. I just grabbed my Cactus cup and said “Lets Go Dance.”
I don’t know if the owners of the Cactus will ever see this, but the Cactus was my sun. I was a withered flower before coming in the door. Waiting in line, I got excited over the anticipation, met new friends in line. When I came in to get my mind off things, I sprouted and got watered. Cactus, thank you for being my sun.
At my peak, I can get through 2 whole Cactus cups. It’s a different story today. My tolerance is pathetic at this point.
I audition for projects, and I’m working on various online businesses for multiple income stream purposes. I do not want to show up on set drunk. I can probably get through a half of cup with a lot of ice in it lol. And if I went out regularly like I did in my hey day, my tolerance would be back up in no time. In other words, for a while, I judged my tolerance based on how many cups I can get through.
When the Cactus closed, it was like my personal sanctuary closed. My heaven on earth is gone. I really try to avoid visiting campus anyways. But the Cactus was a legit reason to have an occasional visit.
Some people may see it as just a bar to get drunk at. My many pictures have a lot of stories to tell. But it was a place to ease my mind and get my mind off things.
Thank you for all the Long Islands, the drunken Thirsty Thursdays, and drunken weekends.
To all the friends I met and went to Cactus with. Thank you for all the shots, the memories and getting my drunk a** home. I love all our memories.
Appreciate the people that you love and places that you enjoy. They can be here today, gone tomorrow. It can be here today, and gone tomorrow.