Skilled Gardeners
They don’t know what to do when autumn comes.
I’m not a relationship blogger, but I think this quote offers some good life advice, so I wanted to share it.
“When people fall in love with someone’s flowers, but not their roots, they don’t know what to do when autumn comes.”
Your relationships need to be built on deep alignment on values, character and morals (the roots) not just “love” appearance, hobbies, & status (the flowers).
According to Talia Bombola, you also need to ensure you and your partner are both skilled gardeners. Relationships take time and tending to.
2024 important update.
I’m not in the relationship space and it’s not my lane. So I wanted to add this lil tid bit before I post it on Facebook.
They didn’t know what to do when my autumn came.
When hard times came and people passed. So called friends disappeared. This was said a while ago: Why are you expecting me to help you?
This is when I changed my perspective on people.
Was I expecting them to hold my hand every waking moment? Nope.
Was I expecting them to leave their husbands to spend all their free time with me after the funerals was over? Nope.
Was I asking them to call weekly? Nope.
I did want to feel supported or at the bare minumum feel like someone cared. Like 10 minutes of their time to check in every blue moon. I wasn’t asking them to speak to me for hours on end every week. I wasn’t asking them to take time off work to sing Single Ladies with me in the middle of the day. No one has time for that shit.
Instead, I was judged. I wasn’t welcomed. My name was dragged through the mud. They didn’t care about my feelings or experiences. I saw them supporting other people, but wouldn’t give me a ounce, even when I reached out.
I was like alrighty Alesha, here’s what’s about to happen. I had three choices in the situations in question.
A) Fall down hard.
B) Become resilient enough to handle whatever comes my way in life. Become a skilled gardener in my own right. Hell, if people want to be there, they would be. I don’t take it personal anymore, most don’t give a flying s*** about me. The way I see it nowadays, people got their own stuff going on, and don’t have time to be concerned with anyone else’s crap. If I’m not looking for it, I won’t miss it. My bad for putting those expectations on folks. I cut them off from my heart and I no longer miss them. I could really say more. I’m done with this point, bye Felicia!
C). Play victim and go whoa it’s me.
You know which one I picked. It’s B for B*tc***es haha.
I’m in a different mode nowadays. I just recently wrote that I don’t expect people to care or to show up. If they do, great. If they don’t, great.
Here’s to being a skilled gardener.
References:
https://hackspirit.com/10-things-youre-doing-that-make-people-instantly-dislike-you/
It’s 2022 at the time of this writing, but by the time you read it, it will be 2024. I had to write a ton of content ahead of time to stay consistent despite what’s happening. 🔥🙌
If you like what you’ve read, please recommend it so others can read it as well. Please tell me what you want me to write about here!
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