I stand with you.

I haven’t been feeling that great lately. Tons of dizzy spells makes me feel like I’m hungover. (Been in and out of doctor’s offices trying to figure out the latest puzzle my body is trying to put me through.)

Inbtwn time, I’ve been messaging as many friends as possible, saying sorry for all the crazy shit that’s been happening out here, but I’m here for you.

I’m literally going to rip this from my Facebook messages.

If you been with me for a bit, it isn’t no secret that I didn’t have the greatest friends growing up. Too many of them stabbed me in the back, played both sides of the fence, and acted jealous. One supposed bff called herself trying to turn my family against me. Another supposed bff spent her childhood years trying to destroy me.

In my adult years, I’ve found people that are very good friends. They show me every day what best friends and friends are supposed to be like. They are the main reasons why I’m not a hermit (I borderline think about it sometimes, the squirrels are quite friendly). (Thank you Steve Bello and Acshettle, I love ya both. I could shout out a few more but many are not on Medium. Thanks for keeping me out of the hermit life. You know it’s bad when I a retreat tells you to let love burn in your heart more. Just keeping it real with you. )

I want to be the friend I wish I had growing up. If I could hug my inner child and younger self I would.

When this hate on the Asian community started happening, I started reaching out individually. And when I see people doing mean and cruel things to a group of people, I rally and send love to them. I may not comprehend their pain, but I can be there to hug them. I might not make the biggest social media posts about it, but I do try to reach out to as many thought private messages and emails.

This is what I wish some of my friends said to me during the BLM movement, lowkey.

***If they really cared. I still think most of them don’t. (It’s their world and everyone else is living in it, it’s my sixth sense).

Wanted to make sure you knew I got your back always.

I’m not sure if I’m saying the right words, but you’re valued

I’m here to be a listening ear.

I might not understand what you’re going through but I’m here for you.

Instead, I see a bunch of black boxes being posted with no direct communication. And they only did it once, just to hear silence on the frontier moving forward. Where’s all the enthusiasm for change nowadays?

Below is the honest, blunt and hard conversations I’ve been having.

Wanted to make sure you knew I got your back always. When stuff was going down a lot of my peeps aka so called friends was being silent, yet they were posting all that BLM stuff. I know for a fact some of them didn’t want to hang out when they were in their white groups, but all of sudden they were posting big o black boxes on their profiles like they are on the team?

Imma give them a chance, but I get the impression that too many of them are being suck ups and two-faced just to have a good image. They posting just to look popular and good not for long term change.

And look, I was told that I can be pretty candid and direct because I was asked my honest opinion. Told them. I pick friends based on content of character. But I can feel that some of them didn’t want a deeper friendship because I was black. And at the end of the day it’s their lost. If they don’t want to get to know people outside their bubbles that’s more of a reflection on them.

I’m not gonna rip every conversation I had. Many shared their experiences with me (It’s private conversation, I’ll share what I said but will not violate their trust and share what they said, that’s private).

I could have just as easily posted Stop Asian Hate posts all over my social media, but I wanted to take it a step further. And do things in my day to day life to create long term change. But I wanted to let them and you know.

  • You’re valued. I see you. You matter.
  • I might not understand what you are going through, but I can be a listening ear.
  • I don’t care if it’s a long time if we talk again. Reach out when you need me.
  • When you tell me something, it stays with me. No gossiping or using your information against you for my own gain/benefit.
  • Want you to know I got your back and let me know how I can be more supportive now and in the future.
  • Educate me. I’m listening.
  • If you don’t respond, that’s ok. Whenever you’re comfortable I’m here.

If I haven’t reached out to you and you’re on my social media? I’m trying to play catch up.

When you needed a listening or supportive ear, what are the things you wish people said to you in that moment? Comment below or private note me.