This Facebook Status Got My Attention And I Hope It Gets Your Attention Too
Hey There! My name is Alesha! This is my 2nd ever post on Medium. I totally forgot to pay homage to where I started. I decided to post Medium versions of those first blog posts. I thought I wanted to save these for a future book. And I still plan to, but these next few posts is ripping a page out of my school life, a period that I really don’t touch too much nowadays. In my first post, I said 10 but I’m thinking it’s less than that now. It’s almost like a journal of some interesting days in my life. I’ll leave it at the word interesting for now. Is there a chance that this could have used more editing before posting on here? Absolutely! But the book version will be the best version of all. I will be writing on a variety of topics, from traveling to entrepreneurship all the way to my favorite foods. And I speak my mind and some of my posts are more blunt than others. If you like what I’m writing, I’d love it if you stick around for a while.
For this particular post, I did get permission from the Facebook owner of the status a while back in 2014 to make a post out of this. But I did go through and took out names of the comments of the post. If you want even more details about the status from the original owner, I’ll find a way to connect the interested parties via email. Send me a tweet or something! This was especially ripping a page from my school days. I have a plan to make shorter Medium posts in the future. I promise!
I was recently looking at Facebook statuses the other day, and one definitely caught my attention. The post and comments are so good that I’ll let that do the talking. I’ll give credit to the people that said them all. P.S. I didn’t put every single comment on here, other wise this post might have been 5 miles long. It’s already 4 miles long. ;)
INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS: I constantly hear black women criticize black men for dating outside their race. First and foremost this is the most ignorant topic ever but ill throw my 2 cents out there . Why does it matter who a “black man” dates if he is genuinely attracted to that person? Shouldn’t you be with someone who makes you happy and that you are attracted to? Or nah? Next, I’m always hearing black women are too strong for black men. Loool what a joke. First off what makes black women so strong over other races? I witness women of every race get played so I don’t know what makes you the stronger woman so I need a definition please. Last but certainly not least, quit saying all successful black men want white women. That’s false. Maybe if you go into new areas and travel some you can meet plenty of successful black men who want you. But you probably won’t find him at your local Applebees or TGI Friday’s. Successful black men want successful women point blank period. I didn’t know the color of a woman’s skin made her weaker or a “black man” more interested in her. Give interracial relationships the same respect that’s given to homosexual relationships. Quit being ignorant and let people be with who makes them happy.
Black man in an interracial relationship
Phone: +I (NTE)- RRACIAL
- Person #1: True that! I ask the question and you and Jamal Fletcher Answered IT best. It came down to whom you’re attracted to. I get it and respect it ! Be happy with who you’re with!
- Person #2: very well put & I agree with all 3 points lol. I think the statement that black women are too strong is an age old stereotype. I think the women who care the most about interracial relationships have personal relationship issues and they are deflecting the real reason why they cant find a good black man.
- Person #3: Couldn’t have said it any better!!! I’ve came across side talks and weird stares, and someone saying they didn’t like the fact my boyfriend is with me and he should stay inside his race. Wish Midwest was more of a melting pot, but it is what it is I guess!
- Person #4: Thank you!
- Person #5: Well there are a few things I would like to address in regards to your post here. First off, I just want to say I am not trying to offend any one or any race. I am just as you said “putting my 2 cents in”. because what’s the most basic point of this infinitely connected Internet if not for the free flow and exchange of ideas to be left in space forever. I will address some of my ideas now.
- Person #5: What makes black women stronger: Going back to the beginning of slavery it was the white man that kidnapped, raped, tortured, killed, and forced black women and young girls to bear their bastard children. It was the white woman who forced the black woman to care for their children more than their own black children, the black woman who fed the white man and his family, then went home after a full day (or 2) of work only to then feed and care for her own family.
- Person #5: Today’s white woman was not bred to overcome the double negative that is being a black woman: being black and a woman.
- Person #5 :The white woman does not have to constantly look over her shoulder for those, both black and white, trying to cause her constant physical, mental, and emotional pain while still holding herself to the highest standards expected of her by both society and her race.
- Person #5 :There is no white woman who has endured the pain it is to hear from the father of her children that he wishes he would’ve made a baby with a woman of a different race so that their children would have “good hair”.
- Person #5: Yet the black woman is expected to stand with the world on her shoulders. The black woman MUST be a work horse, a great mother, cook, maid, be able to do hair, have a big booty, and accept without question the misguided actions that define today’s “man”. These are optional qualities to the white woman.
- Person #5: There is no way for me to describe the struggles that the black woman has overcome nor the ones that still lay in the path of the black woman. But trust me when I say, the white woman taking the good and professional black men that are out there, is the LEAST of the black
- Person #5 :We just speak on it when asked. So, with this in mind, it cannot come as a shock that black women view black men dating outside their race as a sign of disrespect. After all, most black men were raised by a strong black woman in some way shape or form.
- Person #5 :People should respect love no matter what form it comes in. Because in today’s society pure and genuine love and raw emotion is hard enough to find.
- Person #5 :However, your own personal choice to date outside your race does not diminish the strength and beauty that IS the black woman.
- Person #5 :There are qualities that men will find in black woman that are IMPOSSIBLE to find in women of other races simply because of what it is that makes the black woman the black woman.
- Person #5: — signed: sticking to her own race
- Person #6: Do you! live your life according to what is right for you and makes you happy. I support you in whatever you do (including the more important things that should matter and be topics of discussion)
- Person #7: I say date who you want PERIOD! Who you f*** don’t make me nut. Chuuuuch.
- Person #5: Let me start at the beginning…again.
- Person #5: 1. What you will find in most, not all, but most black women is that their strength is rooted in The Lord. The strength that a spiritually sound black woman brings to a household and her family is unmatched by any other race to date.
- Person #5 :2. My sister is currently dating a 100% Mexican man, with which my only issue is that he will not understand her at her most basic instinctual level. It is the black woman’s ultimate goal to be the ultimate provider for her family and has been bred to do such since before any of us were born. Again, not found in MANY (not all) other races.
- Person #5 :3. It has been stated by many many black men that the reason they date outside their race is because women of other races are docile.
- Person #5 :4. I do not have a problem with interracial relationships at all. I simply do not want the strength and power and beauty that is the black woman to be discounted. I’m sure Hispanic women make excellent wives, mothers, and significant others. But again, until your own personal home and family have been blessed by the power and strength of a black woman you will never know what you are missing.
- Person #5: I am only attempting to be a testimony for the strong black women who raised me. I would never want their strength and sacrifice to be over shadowed by the choice of some black men to date outside their race.
- K.M.: #Person 5 I feel what you are saying but first of all my girlfriend is not Caucasian. There are other races outside of Caucasians that black men choose to date. No black women currently living shared the struggles that black women did during slavery so I shouldn’t
have to date a black women out of pity for OUR past. Black men take hate everyday all day! If its not from our employer then we gotta be put down for OUR preference in women. I was raised by a beautiful black woman whom I love dearly but unfortunately that don’t limit me to only dating black women. Just because my mom, aunts, and grandma raised me don’t mean that all black women are that way. We are the most sensitive people about racism, but yet down a black man for dating outside his race. What does slavery have to do with who I find attractive and catch feelings for? Not all black women are strong. Not all black women take care of home and bring something to the table. So to generalize all black women as strong I completely disagree. In addition, not all women of other races are weak. Black women are not limited now or treated how they were during slavery so I don’t see how that is valid. What do you think the present day black woman possesses that other women don’t?
- Person #6: Misconception= that only black women are not docile and every other race of women are lol. Thats a hellafied over generalization to say the least. On a stereotypical level, that’s equivalent to white people saying all blacks are intellectually inferior to all whites. And we know that’s false.
- Person #8: Well I was raised by a strong black woman & black man and I think its a slap in the face to black men to say black women are too strong. The view that Caucasian women or other women of color are more docile is again another stereotype. (I could jump on my feminist soap box but i wont lol.) I could go on but I’m not I just respectfully disagree.
- Person #5: I have no problem with interracial relationships. I just don’t want what I believe makes me a great mother to my son, partner to my boyfriend, daughter to my parents, etc to be discounted by peoples choices. If you chose to date women outside your race more power to you. I’m simply stating (as a women who cares for a child, a man, a house, herself, and others) that there are things in us that are to be desired. Men may not be able to access these qualities in black women easily, but I’m just providing commentary stating that the qualities are there.
- Person #9: In the end what it boils down to is ppl should stop worrying about whose in someones else’s bed & are you sleeping alone. I don’t know…
- Person #7: What difference does it make who the next person dates? That’s not you nor your relationship so why care? What makes your happiness in your relationship more important than the next man or woman’s? If you have the free will to choose who you want to be with and you choose someone of your own race, what makes your decision more important than the next persons? People are attracted who they are attracted to based on their own PERSONAL PREFERENCE… If you meet someone that doesn’t like fried chicken will you criticize them for not having similar taste buds as you because of the “history” of fried chicken? Be with whom you want to be with regardless of the next persons opinion.
- Person #10: @ Person #5 : First I’d like to state that you’ve got to acknowledge the times we live in. Everything evolves, and these aren’t the slavery days anymore. We are past that, and our ancestors that you are basically referring to would definitely prefer that we continue to progress and not always use the very tough times they went through as a crutch.
- Person #10: Personally, throughout my life, I did not encounter many black women who I would have possibly been happiest with. Going to school in or near Chicago made it difficult for an individual like myself who was not a “bad boy”, but considered a nerd to comfortably date black girls. Black girls/women made fun of me for being smart, but now many of those same women have obtained a higher level of maturity and they now desire an “educated” or “successful” black man. That’s selfish to think myself or other intelligent black men have to wait on their “Black
Queen” to mature, just for us to be happy in a relationship. Also, how can you be happy with someone who throughout your entire life wanted the complete opposite, but when reality settled in, there was a “change of heart”? Of course this isn’t all black women, everything is relative to your settings. I just want you to understand certain situations.
- Person #10: To your defense, my mother is an amazingly strong WOMAN. Yes, she’s black and she is aware that often times she receives certain treatment because of her race. However, she doesn’t use racism or prejudices as a crutch. That’s being a basic minority. You can’t be successful in your workplace, relationships, or life in general trying use our people’s history as a crutch. In my opinion, the focus should be directed towards helping young black woman understand why they should support our young educated black men much sooner than when they become successful.
- Person #10: I’m not dating my lady out of spite, I just know she is who makes me happy so who am I to tell the her I can’t be with her, the woman who makes me happiest and completes me just because she’s not black?
- Person #10: It’s takes a lot of courage to in a sense “step outside the box”, and if you’ve never experienced yourself (not saying you haven’t), then it’s tough to judge. But hey everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and opinions are just judgments that often times lack knowledge and understanding.
- Person #11: As a young educated Latina women Ive learned that the worst thing you could do is generalize a group of individuals and give them a label. Not only is it dehumanizing but its just inaccurate. It is great that you say black women have strong faith rooted in the lord that is a wonderful thing but to completely disregard all the other strong women of different nationalities who as well practice their religion and stay faithful to the Lord is not right. I can understand that
you may be speaking from personal experience but dont limit your scope of vision. Who is to say/judge i am a better follower of the Lord than the next women beside me? As women we should be lifting each other up, we all share the same battle.
- Person #11: Yes interracial dating has its obstacles… you are mixing two different cultures, maybe even religions but to be able to understand respect and learn from each other is the beauty of it. If you love each other, respect each and make each other happy than nothing else matters.
- Person #11: We all have different struggles of life, and i can too say that my ancestors when through hell to get us where we are today, but i wouldn’t disregard any other culture who i share no knowledge about.
- Person #5: It starts with us and educating our youth. Our races specifically have formed organizations in order to be respected… and not generalized by stereotypes. If we continue to judge others for not being “our race” or sharing “our culture “ than how far have we really gotten as a society?
- K. M.: When its all said and done I never missed a meal growing up so I don’t know what its like to struggle like our ancestors did. So Im not going pretend to act like I have that in common with black women. All of my black female friends are educated and doing well so I doubt they can attest to the “struggle” that our ancestors had. That’s the issue nowadays so many people stuck in the past instead of worrying about the right now and progressing in life. Why in the world would I even want to talk about “the struggle” with someone? That sounds like a negative relationship anyway. We gone share our struggles? Ill pass on that obstacle course. I would rather be with someone who I can grow and build with. Forget the struggle because we are way past that. Don’t judge someone because of their preference and who they chose to be with. Its plenty of women who d issues growing up and struggled outside of black women. Bringing “god fearing” black women into the discussion is a whole nother issue bc that alone means that the color of someones skin should not matter when you are dating. Is that Christ like? Black women are not the only women who are God fearing by the way. And this is not a status bashing black women at all. Its simply defending all relationships specifically interracial because I constantly hear negative comments when a black man dates outside his race. I treat all the black women I’m related to and cool with with love and respect and always will.
- Person #12: I love this. It doesn’t make you any more or less of a black person to date outside of your race. Do what makes you happy because if you try living your life attempting to please everyone, then you aren’t living your life. Happy for you-nicely stated!
My view: Love who you love. If you are happy, that’s all that matters. I’ve gotten weird stares because I’ve dated guys from different backgrounds. I do not justify my decisions with no one. If people stare at you, look at it this way: that means you must be a hottie and those guys/girls probably wish they were dating you. (Don’t get cocky on me because I know you know your hot haha).
As someone that comes from a multi-racial background, I really appreciate seeing different people come together, look past differences and make love, not hate. There’s so much hate already. We should be uplifting and supporting each other, not knocking each other down. I’ll be honest here and say this: if people from different backgrounds didn’t put their peters in different pots, their gasoline in different engines, I WOULDN’T BE HERE. I embrace all my cultures, and it’s a beautiful thing to see that people can look past skin color. It bothers me that some people (not all) in my own family don’t like to acknowledge their multi-cultural heritage and are very uncomfortable with different cultures. I can tell because of the comments they say. No, I do not think I’m better because I have more than one
race running through my veins. Yes, my mom taught me to pick friends based on how they treat me, not race.
To those who refuse to learn about a culture different than your own: you are missing out on valuable opportunities. I choose not to limit myself and I encourage you to do the same. When I’m in Rome, I do what the Romans do. I enjoy learning about cultures I don’t know about.
Watch this video. I’m glad I’m not the only one in the world that feels this way. Being angry is not going to move us forward, and if you went through oppression why would you want someone else to go through that. Race is a touchy topic but seeing videos like this lets me know there is good in the world. (ABC, the blaze)
Make love, not hate. Who you f*** don’t make you a nut (You have to make a song out of that. Please! I beg.)
Thoughts on this Facebook status?