Trauma From Betrayal

I got my girls (and guys), but I’m very careful with who I trust. I prefer to be a cat lady and hermit nowadays. I’m not kidding about this. I started a Youtube channel to document my adventures taking care of animals.

This could be a sign that you’ve had your heart broken in the past.

  1. If someone tells me a secret, I tell no one under any circumstances. (Unless they are threatening self-harm).
  2. You can talk to me about your friend/family member that passed whenever you want — in 5, 10, 30 years. “Grief has no expiration date.”
  3. Saying nothing, just be with the person. Give a hug instead of saying something. Sometimes, they don’t want to talk. Sometimes I don’t have the right words either. Being there makes the difference. Letting that person know that you see them and that their feelings are validated is important.
  4. Befriending someone that royally screwed me over will make me trust you a lot less. This is not middle school, and while I can’t tell you who you can and can’t be friends with, I will look at you with raised eyebrows. I demoted a best friend to outer circle friend for this reason. Loyalty and trust is very big to me. I keep seeing the angel number 222, and one of the things it keeps telling me is:
  1. I was in several emotionally abusive, toxic and unsupportive environments from many sides (both grade school and upper ed, more on this below). Unfortunately, this came from some female friends. This is truly one of the earliest experiences where I did not feel safe, and I had to adopt hardness, and suppress my emotions to cope with what was going on around me. I had a lot of friend-enemies, and these people were not trustworthy, letting them see that they effected you, shed a tear or letting them see you sweat was bad. They got a thrill of seeing you suffer. Many times I couldn’t trust and get close to anyone, and felt like no one had my back for years (and sometimes it still feels this way, hey I know the animals got my back at least). I didn’t act black the way they acted black. I liked Dragon Ball Z while they chased boys down. I attended cosplay (I do not dress up like some of my Gen Con friends and Comic Con. These people did not care about me. Instead of giving them the license to make fun of me in an already bad situation, I kept it to myself.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Alesha Peterson

Alesha Peterson

Howdy! Entrepreneurship, fitness, music, acting, real estate, tequila & investing is sexy. Idea for an article? Suggestions wanted! https://bit.ly/AleshasTribe