"For every person trying to decipher just what makes you look so “exotic,” there’s someone who acts like dating someone of mixed heritage will make them more interesting. But it doesn’t. It just makes them, at best, racially insensitive, and at worst an asshole." (Please come find me so I can put your name in this quote).
1/29/2019 Update: I found the article!
Here's the Uncomfortable Truth About What Dating Is Like as a Biracial Person
Nobody walks away from online dating without a negative story or two, whether it's having to fend off the guy who won't…
Recently, I was asked what one of my pet peeves are. I thought of one and it has happened a lot in my life. I hate when people ask what I am. I'm a human first.
One question you should never, ever ask: Ultimately, there is no polite or respectful way to ask someone what their race is on a dating app or IRL. The best way to find out the answer to that question is to just wait for the person to bring it up themselves — which it inevitably will along with the other details that surface in the getting-to-know-you process, such as where you went to college or how many siblings you have.- Jaya Saxena
I came across 2 of the best articles in my life when it came to this subject. (I’ll post the links when I can find it….
Questions like “where are you from?” and “what are you?” may seem harmless, but they send many mixed race people on edge. The implication is that you’re other, that you somehow don’t belong. You are “half & half” instead of any whole, not “really” one or the other. You are a curiosity instead of a possible date.
I was in Indy (do you notice that a lot of my stories are from Indianapolis.)
I asked him why. He said because I have a unique look and he was curious.
I flat out told him I think it's rude. And why not get to know me first.
I stuck around and recorded a few sessions with him for music. But I started to distance myself from him. I don't hate him as a person. But when people say ignorant remarks, it's a turn off. I give them a piece of my mind and I cut them off.
Generally speaking, when people ask what I am or the famous "what are you mixed with" I say WHY.
So if you’ve just matched with a woman on Tinder and you think, “wow, you don’t look Chinese” is an acceptable opener, think again. Don’t bring it up. Look past the “exotic” picture and try to see whether they’re a person you could enjoy spending time with. And if the answer is yes, for the love of God, don’t ask “what” they are.
General rule of thumb I follow: I let them bring it up, I never ask people "what they are mixed with" even if I suspect it. I've ran into people who considered mixed offensive. So avoid it until they bring it up first.
Here's better questions to ask someone to connect as humans, not as curiousity. I feel the need to list this because I've had the "what I am question" one too many times.
- Are you a dog person or cat person? Both?
- What was your favorite food growing up?
- What's your favorite food now?
- What was your career aspirations growing up? Did it change as you became older?
- Universal Studios or Disney World? Kings Island or Kentucky Kingdom?
- What is it that you believed as a child that you no longer believe now?
- What was your first car?
- What's your dream car?
- Where have you traveled?
- What's your dream vacation (a place you haven't been before)?
- Where have you traveled?
- What would you do if you weren't afraid?
- Favorite season/favorite month?
- What's your favorite holiday? What's your favorite holiday tradition?
- If you had a time machine, what year would you travel to?
- Who are three people who you want to have dinner with?
- Coffee or tea?
- Would you rather check your Facebook or face your checkbook?
- Pepsi or Coke?
Or if you like to google icebreaker questions, feel free. But whatever you do, DO NOT ASK WHAT ARE THEY are. Do not ask what are they are. Do not ask what they are.
Hello There! I’ve been involved in different businesses in several different capacities from being ceo, coo, co-founder, and more. I’ve learned so much from creating businesses, and I look forward to all the learning experiences I will have from starting new ventures.
With one business I was involved with, we made it possible to install a little device with customized hardware and a SaaS solution implemented to the router, the business owner was able see live data about social media info collected.
With another company, we had professional internet marketing company that focus on digital marketing campaigns, services and jobs such as SEO, PPC, Online Reputation Management, and social media marketing.
With EYT, I oversaw day-to-day operations and keeping the CEO apprised of significant events;Yes I actually talk with my business partner on a daily basis. I created operations strategy and policies; Communicated strategy and policy to employees and interns; Fostering employee alignment with corporate goals; and overseeing human resource management. I also delegate tasks to my team.
My current project is Bones’ Custom Guitar. We create custom guitars for musicians with imported wood. No one Bones’ guitar is the same. We also repair guitars. Jared, my band mate came up with the idea and foundation for Bones’.
Long story cut short. I’ve been playing gigs and booking shoots. My go to guitar, Blu Blu broke during this. When I went to get it repaired in Indy getting it fixed cost way more than the actual cost of the guitar.
It didn’t seem right. After talking with other musicians in Indianapolis, Chicago, Nashville and other cities for second opinions they thought the shop was trying to pull a fast one. So our mission is to offer fair prices for repairs and custom guitars for fellow musicians.
We are both Indy & LA based.
My biggest project currently? I’m also involved in entertainment as an actress, founder, and producer. We are currently producing 2 film projects with one of them having 1 million in financing.
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