What if you had every intention to manifest the life you want?
You’ve been doing meditations, affirmations, visualizations, and the like, but nothing’s happening. What do you do then?
Do you allow it to stop you, or will you try harder?
Sarah arranged the magazines for the owner’s house she was cleaning.
She wiped the sweat on her forehead as the heat of the day washed through her.
This could have been avoided, she thought. If only her business flourished then she wouldn’t be in this position.
She had a digital marketing agency.
Everything was great but when the pandemic began and her clients started to stop renewing their partnership.
Sarah didn’t have a choice but to close it. So, here she was working as a cleaner just to get by.
As she left her last cleaning appointment of the day, she realized that she had to hurry home because she’ll be meeting her friend that night.
“You can do this,” Sarah said in front of the mirror as she was putting on makeup.
She needed to act strong so that her friends wouldn’t know that she was struggling.
She didn’t need their pity right now. But if there was one thing she wanted to admit was that she felt envious.
Their life seemed so easy. But hers… was a different story.
When she arrived at the restaurant, she immediately noticed where her friends were sitting and walked towards them.
“Sarah, you made it! You look amazing!” Iris exclaimed as they went in for a hug.
She did the rest with Marie, Anna, and Cheska. After they ordered food, they talked about what’s been going on in their life.
Iris talked so passionately about finally having her dream work which was to be a content manager.
Marie and Anna both had small businesses. Marie owned a food truck with her partner while Anna just opened her cupcake store.
Cheska was part of their family’s business which was a marketing firm.
All Sarah could hear in her head was that she was way behind them. She felt totally out of place.
She couldn’t even talk about herself when they started asking what she has been up to.
“Well, you already know what happened to my digital marketing business. So, for now, I’m working as a cleaner while I look for a new job. Don’t worry about me. I’m okay.”
By the time she finished speaking, there was only dead air among them.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Sarah. Why don’t you let us help you? We can all help get you started on a new business”
Cheska reached out to touch her arm. But Sarah didn’t know how to react.
She wasn’t a quitter. She could do things on her own.
“Thank you, girls. I appreciate it but I can manage. Now, let’s eat before the food gets cold.”
Sarah smiled but deep inside she felt that was running out of time. She felt that she lost her way and it’s too late for her.
That night, once Sarah was home, her thoughts went into overdrive. What was she doing with her life?
She was working as a cleaner when just months ago she owned a digital marketing agency.
And there was this ugly feeling inside her that was growing.
Sarah felt envious of her friends.
Why did their life seem so easy? They had a house of their own, luxury car she’d never afford, & a great job. But Sarah?
She had to work as a cleaner just to make ends meet. Her life was a perfect example of paycheck to paycheck living.
She literally had no savings every time she received her pay. It would always go to rent, bills, and other expenses.
She sighed. “When will this end?” She thought.
That night, Sarah continued applying online for a position in a marketing department.
If only she was lucky enough to get hired, she’d be able to put a stop to her misery. This was an everyday dilemma.
She wanted instant gratification to come to her life and change the way things were.
Before heading to bed, Sarah sat down and tried to clear her mind to imagine what she wanted for herself.
Her goal was to think about the life that would make her feel happy and fulfilled,
But no matter how hard she tried, all she could see were other people’s lives.
She couldn’t understand why it seemed so easy for everyone else. Why did they get everything they wanted?
Sarah knew there was no use in getting angry because this wasn’t going to get her anywhere.
After taking a deep breath, she got up then started making coffee while thinking of the better things in life that didn’t involve envy or jealousy.
If Not Now…
When Sarah woke up from dogs barking outside, she knew it was another day to get up and work.
She put her hair in a bun & fixed herself, and went outside. The sun was shining bright, & the heat felt good on her skin.
She looked at the time and sped up her walking pace. As she arrived at her client’s place, she knocked on the door.
The door opened, and Julie, a woman over the age of 60, welcomed her inside.
While Sarah was cleaning some boxes under Julie’s bed, a dusty bracelet caught her attention.
She reached for it and flicked the dirt away.
It was a bracelet with a beautiful green stone in the middle and a gold clasp. “Wow,” she whispered to herself.
She felt as if it was deja vu. Like, she already experienced this very moment.
She walked down the stairs and began to tell Julie about the bracelet she had found.
“Ms. Julie, I found this under your bed. Where would you like me to place it?”
Sarah asked as she bent over to give the bracelet to Julie.
“Oh… I still remember this Aventurine bracelet. It is my lucky charm, I remember buying it from a shop that said it can amplify my desires.”
“And I think it’s not a coincidence that you found it. It’s all yours now, Sarah.” Julie reached for Sarah’s hands & placed the bracelet on her palm.
“What? No, it’s okay. It might be of sentimental value to you.” Sarah insisted.
But Julie looked into her eyes and shook her head.
“It is yours now. May you live your best life, Sarah.”
Sarah couldn’t believe it and smiled from ear to ear and thanked Julie endlessly.
It was the first time she’ll be having a lucky charm. She wore it on her left wrist & headed to the next house on her schedule.
As Sarah was walking, she continued to fondle the bracelet on her wrist. What would this do for her?
Sarah got home and proceeded to her usual routine by sending her resume to multiple companies.
After sending her last email.
Just below the article she was reading, she noticed the next one… Find Out What’s Blocking Your Manifestations.
She could only gawk at it and felt that it was timely for her.
As she read the article & found out that negative emotions were a sure example that could block manifestations…
This was when it dawned on her. She’d been focusing on the envy she felt.
How her friends’ lives were so much better than hers.
She realized that she always had self-sabotaging thoughts like how she could never afford Marie’s car or Anne’s house.
But there’s a right timing for everyone.
Sarah doesn’t need to compare her success to other people. She has to learn to trust the process.
Sarah had an epiphany. She had to shift her focus on gratitude instead of the things she lacked in life.
It was wrong of her to think negatively of her friends when all they wanted was to help her.
Right after her breakthrough, she went to her usual place in her apartment and sat comfortably.
She breathed in and out, calming her mind.
“I am letting go of the envy I feel. I am trusting the process.”
Sarah said out loud. She continued to say this affirmation a few more times and started her meditation.
Sarah visualized the life she wanted — a job that paid well, a house of her own, and a car.
She was able to picture it clearly. She could see herself working in a company that made her happy and fulfilled.
Sarah imagined what her house would look like and could smell the newly painted rooms.
The car she wanted was parked in the driveway. When she opened her eyes, she knew that it would soon be hers.
Sarah woke up knowing what she had to do.
She took her phone and began to call Cheska. On the second ring, her friend picked up.
“Oh wow. That is so weird, I was about to call you! Sarah, we totally need your expertise here.”
Her friend’s voice sounded hopeful.
“I was calling to say, I am willing to take you up on your offer. This is awesome! Thank you so much.”
Her friend was elated to hear this and asked her to visit the office later that week.
After the call, Sarah felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
When You Ask, You Shall Receive
It’s been three months since Sarah was promoted, & she still couldn’t help but smile when she got inside her car.
My car, her mind exclaimed. How will she get used to this? Things have been great for her.
Ever since she started working in Cheska’s family business, things began to look up for her.
She’d been recognized and promoted as a digital marketing manager.
She was earning more than she could imagine, and she wasn’t living a paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle anymore.
Sarah was thankful for everything that had happened.
Now, she was driving on the way to meet a real estate agent to buy her own house.
This is one of the best stories I’ve read in my email for a long time.
— — — — — — — — To Answer The Questions Personally — — — — — —
I wish the pain I’m experiencing in 2021 on no one. In fact it’s been a past bad few years, but I find a reason to still joke. There’s a couple ongoing threads on Facebook that has me on the floor. Someone suggested that I should be a nun sometime ago, so we have been having a really good time with that one (oh by the way, I would never be a nun).
Facts: I have plenty of friends and family more successful than me. And their happiness and success is everything to me.
When people look at vacation pictures on Facebook and they say they have those jealous FOMO feelings, I have a different take on it. I wish some of my friends and family was still alive to do the same things. So when I see cousins, friends and family traveling or living life, it makes me happy.
Sometimes, I don’t like to say how bad it’s gotten because asking for help has lead to too many bad circumstances at different periods of my life, and I don’t want to be that person THAT overly burdens people or take away someone’s joy. If you are happy, I’m not gonna be a Debbie Downer.
Personally, no matter how bad it gets for me, I’m happy for others, because in the end, wishing bad on others doesn’t make your situation better. I’m not the jealous sort. If you been with me for a while, you know that I refuse to cut others to get to the top, or gossip about others growing up. So I didn’t fit in because people misunderstood me.
Hurt people hurt people. I’m very careful and self aware about this. I promised myself I wouldn’t be a person that projects. Because I’ve been on the receiving end of projecting, and it doesn’t feel good. A friend took out her mother’s death on me for years by trying to turn classmates and friends against me for years, and people around her said she did it because she was mourning, jealous, and just going through things . Another friend attempted to destroy me through gossip and rumors, then friends and teachers said it was her mental health that did it. Then, when I saw that people wasn’t going to change, attempt to make amends and I wasn’t going to allow myself to be an absorber or a doormat, I was seen as the bad girl for keeping my distance. As giving as I am (even with the lightworker and empath factor at play), even I have my limits.
When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will seem unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did.
To this day, there’s people that sided with the people that treated me badly because they didn’t treat them like they treated me. Loyalty and trust is very big to me, if you are friends with a enemy, I will definitely question your loyalty.
If I think I can’t treat people nicely, I will stay at home. No matter how bad it gets for me, IT’S NO ONE ELSE’S FAULT. They didn’t do anything to cause my life to be fucked up, so it’s unfair to take it out on anyone. And even if I’m feeling bad, I try to make others laugh, which in turn makes me laugh. I got so much material for a future comedy standup it’s gonna be curtains when that time comes.
Sometimes, shit just happens. Sometimes, things go wrong no matter what you do. And you gotta work through it (without taking it out on other people, I can’t emphasize this enough).
With that being said, there’s times I felt like I couldn’t be honest and open about struggles and issues that’s come up. Either the people around me wasn’t trust worthy (could not keep their trap closed, was gossip queens, was looking for dirt to stomp you in the ground even further) or they made it worst. When it rains, it pours around these folks.
When I felt the weight of the world on my shoulder crashing down on me too many times to count, I just dealt with it, by spending time in nature or something.
With all that the world is going through, I know that feeling of feeling like you can’t talk about your personal problems. Because the few times I was openly vulnerable many times, I was cut, got hurt and it cost me. I was hurt and abandoned by the people I thought would never leave me behind. I don’t want to feel that love by people or someone special and then have that taken away. I felt that sense of family, belonging, financial stability and for it to be destroyed in an instant was a lifechanging moment for me. I will not depend on another person again in that capacity, so they have the opportunity to hurt me again, and then I go through the whole cycle/process of healing myself AGAIN. No thank you…I would be crazy as f*** to put myself through all that again. The financial ruin, embarrassment, downward spirals and path of destruction is not worth it, this one is staying hyper independent. This is why I’m very careful with who I open up to. Because of my loner nature, and not opening up as easily, when I do find a friend and they pass away, the burn is felt times 100.
- **I have been recording some music to put out before doctors operate on me again, so yayy. I hope you enjoy this new era of music from me. It’s going to be quite the adventure, but fun and rebellious.
Truly, you don’t know what personal struggles people are dealing with behind closed doors. So before you get jealous of someone who you think has it all, consider this question: What did that person have to go through to get this? What struggles do they currently face? Just because someone is successful, has money and appear to have it all, doesn’t mean they don’t have problems. What if you have to always keep your guard up around people because you are not sure if people will like you for who you are, or if they like you for what you got or who you’re connected to? I can personally understand what not trusting people feels like, so to me to wonder what people’s ulterior motives are, and to feel like you couldn’t be yourself around people would feel quite isolating.
I considered dropping my avoider ways to tell a guy I loved him, but he passed away before I had the chance (and to be honest I didn’t want to fuck up a friendship, so it may be for the best I didn’t say anything). His birthday was recently, so I’ve been thinking of him a lot. With medical issues, watching friends and family pass away this year and some other pressing health issues I can’t discuss. Even if I don’t receive. Peace, love, light, happiness and success be with all of you.
P.S. It’s 5:00 am in the morning as I write this, so if you catch typos please tell me….
And Happy Halloween!
It’s 2021 🔥🙌
If you like what you’ve read, please recommend it so others can read it as well. Please tell me what you want me to write about here!
Interested in what I done? Check out my LinkedIn profile I barely use lol. I’ll update it to add the new current businesses I’m working on one of these days. I haven’t updated it in months.