I don’t know the solution but I do think it’s a strong concept we must all figure out for ourselves, according to one of many Tai Lopez emails. I’m not going to lie about lying. I told a tale when it involved surprising someone. Why ruin a surprise birthday party because I can’t keep my mouth shut? Throughout history, some lied because at times it’s best for the survival of the species. During election day, people lie about who they are supporting so it doesn’t cause a rift between family and friends.
“We often behave in ways that are guaranteed to make us unhappy. Many of us spend our lives marching with open eyes toward remorse, regret, guilt, and disappointment. And nowhere do our injuries seem more casually self-inflicted, or the suffering we create more disproportionate to the needs of the moment, than in the lies we tell to other human beings. Lying is the royal road to chaos.” -Sam Harris
What kind of lies? Subtle lies. The type of lies that keeps feelings from getting hurt. Hurtful lies. Lies that save lives. White lies.
In Sam Harris’s “Lying” book, it basically makes the point that in the long haul it pays to tell the truth. (I want to note this is mainly from Tai Lopez email, as I stated in my past few posts I want to keep the knowledge but clear my emails from my hospital stays.) Tai even suggested that evolutionary biologists like Trivers might disagree with this all or nothing position on lying.
1. Women Lie, Men Lie. That song is catchy, and it also has a point. Lying is everywhere and it causes lower life satisfaction levels. One study suggests that 10 percent of communication between spouses is deceptive… Research suggests that all forms of lying — including white lies meant to spare the feelings of others — are associated with less satisfying relationships.”
2. Most white lies just perpetuate delusion but brutal honesty breaks delusion: “A friend of mine recently asked me whether I thought he was overweight. He probably was just asking for reassurance. I answered my friend’s question very directly: ‘No one would ever call you ‘fat,’ but if I were you, I’d want to lose twenty-five pounds.’ That was two months ago, and he is now fifteen pounds lighter.”
3. Our biggest lies are usually to ourselves: “Self-deception isn’t of any value either. I was never going to be a professional singer. People could have said, ‘Oh, you’re a great singer. You ought to quit your job and start recording.’ But that’s just bullshit.”
4. Honesty breaks addictions: “Honesty can force any dysfunction in your life to the surface. Are you in an abusive relationship? A refusal to lie to others — How did you get that bruise? — would oblige you to come to grips with this situation very quickly. Do you have a problem with drugs or alcohol? Lying is the lifeblood of addiction.”
Hello! I’m Alesha! I’m a musician, actress, entrepreneur and writer and recent hospital patient (I still can’t believe that is real). I’m writing blog posts on my emails from my hospital stay until my inbox is not full. Follow on Twitter. If you like what I’m writing, give me a heart and share! :) I like hearts. Let me know what you want me to write! Click here!