When Teachings You Been Taught Been Completely Flipped On Top Of It’s Head
Hello! I just realized that I have a lot of drafts that are stuck in my Medium draft box. I decided to start clearing my medium drafts and start writing regularly again.
Warning: Probably with a lot of errors, but I hope you get the point! After briefly looking over this, I like the way I wrote this. I do curse in this, so if you don’t like cursing, don’t read!
Growing up, this is how I understood college and education in general.
- It’s my golden ticket and guaranteed stamp to getting a well paying job.
- It’s a place to expand my mind, have self discovery. I’ve been told that it’s the overall experience of college that will make you a better person. Many need college to improve their circumstances, establish life-long relationships. It provides them with skills in analyzing calculations, concepts and reasoning. Combine this with the self-esteem that will lead them to comprehend and process new ideas in their minds. It transforms their world views, opening them up to different cultures, and different ways of seeing and figuring out some of the world’s most complicated problems.
The things I learned in entrepreneurship completely flipped this on top of it’s head. This is what I really ran into:
- I ran into so much f**** racism that it was unwelcoming to be there and couldn’t be ignored. I ran into more ignorant people claiming that my skin color will be the reason that I will have a harder time. I was surprised at that I was supposedly running into . Yes you will find good and bad people everywhere, but damn there were some rotten apples in that mother.
- Subtlety, I ran into scenarios where women were discouraged from taking on leadership positions, while the guys were molded into being leaders. I watched this happen all the time. (What made it worst is the girls went along with the guys, and went against you if you wasn’t in the clique, or if you didn’t go along to get along. Read this if you wonder how come some who do well in school don’t do well in life.).
- I always noticed that people wanted me to be something I’m not to fit their idea of what I’m supposed to be, instead of accepting me for who I am. Since I didn’t fit a “stereotype” it bothered people.
- (The most racism, prejudice, and stereotyping I have ever experienced was in school. Ironically, the same place that everyone and their momma says that would get me to a better life.)
Here’s my responses to everything I said above:
Cultural conditioning is a very influential basis in our society. It amazes me how many times I was being conditioned to be a victim. “Aw your this minority, because of this person not being present in your life, you’re more in likely to go down this path.” Um since when does another person impact my destiny that much? I stopped explaining myself when people only understand from their level of perception. Because I wasn’t acting the way that they wanted me to act, they had issue with me. Who is they? Teachers, professors, you name it. Why is sterotyping the norm here, I’ve asked that several times? I don’t think the small minds that I came across in life could process what I was asking and requesting of them. One request? I was simply asking them to stop treating me like a victim because having a victim mentality limits you.
I’m not suggesting that I live under a rock, and sing kumbaya and act like racism doesn’t exist, because it does HOWEVER.
A victim mentality suggests the idea that another person must do for you what you are unable to do for yourself; Victim mentality pushes tolerance of undesired circumstances, which eventually breaks an person’s will to change. In some cases, victims actually prefer the comfort of the familiar, choosing to keep things the way they are as opposed to the discomfort of making things better. Everyone else’s wins means my loss. Will this type of thinking help me in the long run? No.
How would it benefit me to make judgement calls on people, saying “this person will be racist towards me today, let me have a bad attitude?”
I suggested it’s nuts to think of bad news bears things happening to me even before a legitimate act of victimization is identified. I mentioned that there are people who thrive despite having difficult scenarios and there’s some who wither away. I didnt need them to believe in me (because they obviously didn’t haha) but I believed in me. The goals I had was undoable because in their minds, they perceived me a certain way.
When you go against the flow, people have a tendency to give you shit for it because it’s something they don’t understand. People fear what they don’t understand. And of course misery loves company “I had to go through this to get this. How in the hell can they make millions of dollars without of a degree and I’m struggling to make 30,000 a year with one?”
We need to drop the thinking that college is the only way. It’s one way, but it’s not the only way to quote in quote “make it.” I recently had a label meeting, and the question was asked “do you think your family and friends support what you are doing?” I honestly said my mom and I had a few people reach out, but for the most part no. I was honest and said why. Most of my college friends are silent, and being silent isn’t supporting. That means they are waiting for you to fall flat on your face, then say “that’s why you shouldn’t have done it in the first place, now go get a regular job like we are doing.” I’m getting ready to get interviewed sometime in the future, and I go into deep details.
No I don’t hate them, actually I still care for a good portion of them. With or without their support I will make it. To combat all that is to get like-minded people that’s on the same journey. It makes a hella difference. I have tons of entrepreneur friends that understand the fiber of my being, and I have friends who don’t understand-but we still hang out from time to time. And no, I don’t usually go into conversation about entrepreneurship, unless they start it first lol. I don’t bash others for the life they choose, I just ask that they don’t bash me (which doesn’t happen sometimes but all good.)
Then too, I separated from a lot of organizations. You know that one quote that says what you got ahead is far better than what you left behind? THIS IS VERY VERY TRUE. When you dump the negative energy to make room for the positive energy, it’s like an exchange of space. It was mentioned to me that I won’t get a paddle or I’ll miss out on this or that, and I’ll regret it in 20 years. What I would regret is not living my authentic self. What I would regret is living the ways others expected me to and letting people talk me out of being myself.
F*** a paddle. Trust me, I’m in a position to get more paddles than I can shake a stick at. I’m not saying that to brag, I’m really saying that to let it be known that it’s better to pay attention to all the things I would be gaining, not what I lost. Do I make sense?
And it’s crazy. When I go to seminars, conferences, and other events, there’s usually an uber successful famous person there. And the question is always asked: “How did you do it” and “You’re such an inspiration” or “What can I do to get to where you are?”
You will never influence the world trying to be like it. Yet, so many people my age rather go along to get along then be successful. I’ve seen so many quotes that say “When you see the majority, look at the direction they are going and move the opposite direction.” Ironically, it’s going against the flow that will make the “beyond your wildest dreams” life happen. When you stop trying to please others and do things to please yourself, this is where the extraordinary results come in. If you care about what others think, you won’t be successful. If you shrink your talents because you are afraid that others around you will get insecure, you won’t be successful.
TRUST ME WHEN YOU ARE DOING WELL people will come back in subtle ways wanting something or saying they know you (like the people that doubted you will say one day how they met you quote?). I had a little bit of this happen and it’s nuts. I DON’T LIKE IT. I’m still the same crazy that writes love letters to food, and it’s ridiculous that people are your friends when you have something they want.
I’ve been told that I’m beyond most people’s basic level of understanding, that I’m light years ahead of my peers, that I’m on a different wavelength. Maybe the wavelength part. Have others told you the same thing? (I am not perfect by any means, but I do authentically live my truth every single day).
Did I mention that I’m blunt in my blog posts? Good.
Hello There! I’m Alesha! I’m going to change up my bio (kind of long because my LinkedIn profile was recently restricted-Not sure why this happened, but just to get an idea of what I’ve done). This is an another article from the Stuck In My Inbox Series.”
Hello There! I’ve been involved in different businesses in several different capacities from being ceo, coo, co-founder, and more. I’ve learned so much from creating businesses, and I look forward to all the learning experiences I will have from starting new ventures.
With one business I was involved with, we made it possible to install a little device with customized hardware and a SaaS solution implemented to the router, the business owner was able see live data about social media info collected.
With another company, we had professional internet marketing company that focus on digital marketing campaigns, services and jobs such as SEO, PPC, Online Reputation Management, and social media marketing.
With EYT, I oversaw day-to-day operations and keeping the CEO apprised of significant events;Yes I actually talk with my business partner on a daily basis. I created operations strategy and policies; Communicated strategy and policy to employees and interns; Fostering employee alignment with corporate goals; and overseeing human resource management. I also delegate tasks to my team.
My current project is Bones’ Custom Guitar. We create custom guitars for musicians with imported wood. No one Bones’ guitar is the same. We also repair guitars. Jared, my band mate came up with the idea and foundation for Bones’.
Long story cut short. I’ve been playing gigs and booking shoots. My go to guitar, Blu Blu broke during this. When I went to get it repaired in Indy getting it fixed cost way more than the actual cost of the guitar.
It didn’t seem right. After talking with other musicians in Indianapolis, Chicago, Nashville and other cities for second opinions they thought the shop was trying to pull a fast one. So our mission is to offer fair prices for repairs and custom guitars for fellow musicians.
We are both Indy & LA based.
My biggest project currently? I’m also involved in entertainment as an actress, founder, and producer. We are currently producing 2 film projects with one of them having 1 million in financing.