Why ARE some people 10x, 20x, even 100x more successful than us?
1.Top performers focus on relationships and leverage them to grow faster and deeper than everyone else. This doesn’t mean they’re scammy or slimy. It means they ask other people for advice, and they actually follow through! As a result, when I started asking for advice, and investing in self-development material, it made perfect sense: I didn’t need to reinvent the wheel — others had already paved the path for me. It was up to me to decide to take the right road.
2. These top performers use triggers to create disproportionate results and to systematically improve their mental game. They realize that they invest in improving their body, at the gym, and their finances, via books and automation…but they realize their most powerful asset of all is their mental strength.-Ramit Sethi
As I go on the search for the next group of courses I’m getting for 2019, I came across a genius genius article from Ramit Sethi. That dude is a living legend.
I have no business trying to re-write this, because it’s perfect the way it is. But I’m going to be quoting him a lot in this article and making this article my own.
It starts out something like this. (I did re-write this and make it my own, I didn’t want to be a complete copycat, but I will always give credit).
Have you noticed when an opportunity is right in front of your face — maybe it’s a ivy league college application , or a internship for a prestigious workplace— and what’s the first thing we say? “I’m not going to get it anyways…so I’m not even going to bother applying.”
“It’s out of my league and I won’t fit in.”
Before you give yourself a chance, you come up with 100s of ways and reasons why it won’t work. You count yourself out and you pee in your pants due to nerves. And don’t focus on the opportunities and possibilities.
Why do you sell yourself short before giving yourself a chance? (You never know unless you try! It’s better to try and fail then never try at all and beat yourself up for not knowing or saying “what if.”)
What separates the truly successful, wealthy, and happy people?
How do you keep the fortitude to persist when times get tough?
The knowledge to know you can do something…and the ability to summon self-confidence, even when you don’t feel confident inside?
And the conviction to say YES when it matters — and NO when something isn’t right for you?
Successful people know that in order to accomplish their goals, they will have to say NO to certain activities, tasks and not cave in to requests from their friends, family, and peers.
In the short-term, you might sacrifice a bit of instant gratification and say no to a lot of demands. When your goals come to fruition and materialize, it will all be worth it. How do you have the strength and discipline to delay instant gratification for long term success?
But we all have these anchors around our necks when it comes to confidence, ambition, focus, excellence, honesty and more — chains that hold us back.
Let’s be honest with ourselves.
It’s not just money or connections. (I came from a middle-class family of 6, and I had to pay my own way through college.)
It’s not time. We all have the same 24 hours in a day.
It’s not just intelligence. There are tons of smart people who aren’t successful…and tons of people with ordinary intelligence, who become ultra-successful!
And it’s not just resources. We like to think, “Oh, HE went to X college,” but deep down, we know that while resources matter, there are plenty of self-made stories.- Ramit Sethi
How do you learn how to embrace the suck?
While most people are scrambling to keep afloat, these people are achieving everything that others WISH they could. They get to the gym, attend their kids’ school events, shop for groceries, eat dinner with the family and keep their SOs happy.
And they make it look effortless.
These people are strong, resilient, carefree. They “just do it.” That’s literally what I hear from all my friends who juggle exciting lives with demanding careers. “Yeah, I just do it.”
How do they do the seemingly impossible, while making it look effortless?
You see this in masters of all kinds — no matter what their craft.
You ask them about what they do, hoping to hear some brilliant strategy or tales of the struggle. Instead, you hear this over and over again: “Yeah, I just do it.”
When the researchers studied the Sherpas in Nepal, they didn’t find anything physically different between them and the visiting Western climbers.
However, they did note this: What’s the Sherpas’ secret for climbing hundreds of miles carrying hundreds of pounds on their backs? “They simply go. And they keep going.”
In other words, they simply decide they’re going to do it, and they get it done. They don’t second guess, they don’t stress, they just do it.
They aren’t stronger. They aren’t smarter. They aren’t more gifted.
But they ARE in total control of their minds. They have a Mental Mastery that allows them to do what they need to do… what they want to do… without any of the hang-ups that would make other people get stuck.-Ramit Sethi
From Personal Experience, This Is How Mental Strength Helped And Transform My Life:
- When people tried to destroy me in school (spread gossip and backstab). I simply stayed away from the toxic friend groups. I found outside interests, and built self esteem through martial arts, basketball, building businesses, etc. I think being the only child does help because I don’t fear alone time to the point where I’m scrambling for friends, saying “I can’t go here by myself because that’s weird.” “Or what would so and so think about this?” It’s solitude and second nature. I’m not going to stick with a toxic friend group just for the sake of having friends or out of desperation. If I have to separate for a little bit to find the right tribe, I will do so. Secondly, not attaching my worth and not seeking validation from other people REALLY helped. I started with validation from the inside first.
- Not getting invited to weddings, social outings, etc? No problem for me. Team JOMO (the joy of missing out)
- I’m confident in my auditions in acting. I’m not attaching my worth to an outcome of a audition. I go in, do my thing in front of the casting directors, leave and keep it moving. If I get cast? Cool. If I don’t? Cool.
- In business, I don’t attach a bad outcome to my self-worth. If I make a mistake, I embrace it as a learning opportunity.
- I call Indy, LA, NY and several other cities home.
- I notice in 2019 I’m learning different instruments easily and effortlessly.
What I learned is that top performers have an entirely different way of looking at risk, success, and confidence. Ramit Sethi
The successful are on a different playing field and wavelength.
Top performers think very differently than others. They might not even fit in with the crowd and they usually carve their own path.
Top performers don’t lean back on the same “mental baggage” that most people use: They know productivity is important, but it’s just one small part of being successful and happy. And they don’t chase short cuts.
Overnight success is a myth.
Successful people know that making small continual improvement every day will be compounded over time, and give them desirable results.
That is why you should plan for the future, but focus on the day that’s ahead of you, and improve just 1% every day.- Zdravko Cvijetic
For example. If you start a workout, you are not going to see immediate results the next day. Or the next week.
If you start a blog, you are not get 1000’s of likes when starting out.
If you start a business, you are not gonna bank 10 million dollars 2 weeks later.
The problem with this is that we we don’t see them early in the process. Because of this we might be tempted to conclude that our efforts have failed. This is why people quit blogs, diets, and everything else they attempt. If we just shift how we measure progress, we’ll also increase our motivation to finish what we start.- Srinivas Rao
Instead of expecting immediate gratification, be happy that you have a routine of going to the gym first. What prosperity are you experiencing now that can put you in a receptive mode? What abundance are you experiencing now that can have you experience the happiness before it happens? According to the LOA, we are conditioned to experience the happiness as it happens. But we should visualize it and be happy about it in our minds before it happens in reality.
If you hold that abundance feeling throughout the workout, you will have the feeling of healthier body (or abs) before it happens.
Them boom. Over time you will notice it manifesting before your eyes. You stand in the presence of it instead of the absence of it. Instead of feeling like you are missing something, you acknowledge it in your life.
Thoughts turn into things.
Instead of working out just to get a summer body, embody the idea that you have a healthy routine that’s a healthy lifestyle. If you focus more on the process instead of the end result, you are more in likely going to get the result you want.
Watch this video below. It will make more sense.
Can you see yourself being successful before you get there?
In fitness terms: Can you see the abs on you before you actually get the abs? Can you see yourself having a regular fitness routine in your mind before you actually have the fitness routine in real life?
If you love the journey like you love the result, you will be happy on the way there and when it actually happens in real life.
“The mind is the limit. As long as the mind can envision the fact that you can do something, you can do it, as long as you really believe it 100 percent.” — Arnold Schwarzenegger
Ramit had a great example, but.
Have you been the person that let your mental barriers keep you out of the chance of a lifetime… And you will never know why you miss opportunity after opportunity?
Just think about it for a second.
Let's say someone wants to offer Samantha a free course or a guru that you want to work with FINALLY REACHES OUT TO YOU.
But what do Samantha do? Ask useless questions that has nothing to do with the opportunity.
“Uh I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Uh is it actually free?
“I’m too short.”
“They may have achieve this success, but I don’t think I can do the same.”
“What will my friends think?”
Why? She compares herself to other people and doesn’t think she’s connected or productive or whatever enough to be successful, therefore why would the guru want to work with her? Because she has a mental framework that says she’s not smart. She has a mental mindset that says she’s not talented.
Why does Sam even brings up the questions in the first place? According to Ramit, it’s too painful to admit that she’s thinking the questions in her head, so she goes fishing for an external reason to count herself out.
A successful person would never do this. They would use a simple mental framework that says they are worthy of success: “I’m a top performer. I’m good enough to get this. It doesn’t matter where I come from, my background or my street address. I’m good enough that they will pick me every time.”
Imagine the life our girl Samantha above would have if she quit questioning/nitpicking/over analyzing/ and just go for it without fearing what would happen in the future or what people thought of her.
“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.” — Amelia Earhart
Take these common mistakes we’ve all made:
- Passing by yet another job application (“Why should I submit an application?” “I don’t have the credentials and I wouldn’t get it anyways”)
- Not inviting someone you want to be better friends with out to the mall because you are afraid they will reject you (They are in the popular friend group. Why in the world would they want to hang out with me?)
- Seeing a cute man you like…and walking right past him instead of saying hi. (“I’ll wait for a while…let me talk with my friends about the hot guy first…ok, ok, I’m going to go up in 30 seconds…damn it, someone else is talking to him”)
- Letting friends and family make your life decisions for you and letting their fears project on you, which shrinks your potential (My parents helped me so much. Shouldn’t I at least try to make them happy by being the doctor they want me to be?” “My friends might not like my business idea, so I won’t pursue it just so I can fit in with the crowd”)
- Letting critics get the best of you. “I feel guilty for living my truth because I’ll make others feel bad.”
They don’t even consider that living out their truth can impact people. Can you imagine how many people go to their graves without pursuing their ideas? I read an article somewhere (and I’ll post it here when I find it). But here’s a quote in the meantime.
“The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream.” -Les Brown
Question in the form of a quote (sorta): How does the successful always to shrug these situations off effortlessly or not even bat an eye — and they kept getting more and more successful! The stuff that sidelined normal people seemed to “bounce” right off them.-Ramit Sethi
“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” — Marcus Aurelius
After reading enough Ramit, Tai, Hilary Rushford, Daniel Dipiazza articles and observing trailblazing entrepreneurs in my life (I’m not naming you all my bad) , here’s the takeaways.
It’s about finding someone who did what you want to do, and following their lead. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel.
It’s not about finding a magic wand or carpet that can get you to your goals in an instant. It is about mastering and harnessing your mental powers to transform your life in the way YOU want.
Ramit calls it Mental Mastery.
Grant Cardone suggests if you find your purpose, your mental strength will go through the roof. He then mentions that after finding your purpose, you can grow a number of things in your life.
David Goggins says embrace the suck.
According to Robby and others that did Ramit Sethi’s 20 times your potential, it’s about looking at outrageous challenges and realizing that large goals can only be completed by taking the first step toward smaller more achievable goals.
Do you have anything else to add to this article? Comment below.
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Hello There! I’m Alesha! I’ve been involved in different businesses in several different capacities from being ceo, coo, co-founder, and more. I’ve learned so much from creating businesses, and I look forward to all the learning experiences I will have from starting new ventures. 2019 I’m excited to announce that I’m going to add more businesses to my portfolio. STAY TUNED! I’m going to introduce them sometime next year!
With one business I was involved with, we made it possible to install a little device with customized hardware and a SaaS solution implemented to the router, the business owner was able see live data about social media info collected.
With another company, we had professional internet marketing company that focus on digital marketing campaigns, services and jobs such as SEO, PPC, Online Reputation Management, and social media marketing.
With EYT, I oversaw day-to-day operations and keeping the CEO apprised of significant events;Yes I actually talk with my business partner on a daily basis. I created operations strategy and policies; Communicated strategy and policy to employees and interns; Fostering employee alignment with corporate goals; and overseeing human resource management. I also delegated tasks to my team.
With Bones’ Custom Guitar. We created custom guitars for musicians with imported wood. No one Bones’ guitar is the same.
The Wish Benefit Concert is a concert founded by Ayana Carter, Mel Sexton and Alesha Peterson. It’s privately held at Riley Hospital For Children.