This is the last time I’m going to write something like this and I’m not going to explain it again. This is why I don’t.
I love that my friends have found the love of their lives and found the one. I support their decision to marry full heartily. I’ll be the first one to tell them congratulations, and also the first to get them a gift or say congratulations even if I’m not invited lol. This is why I’m riding solo.
Why I Don’t Want To Get Married
- Growing up, I was a child of a single parent, and I got turned off when they tried to say I’m not normal because of it. There was and is so much pressure that I’m turned off by the idea of marriage.
As a product of a single parent:
you are more in likely to be a teenage parent
Have these sexually transmitted diseases
and a high school dropout.
First of all, if you know me.
I’m not promiscuous. I do not sleep with every guy that looks at me. I hate when some of them look at me all thirsty anyways. I wish they treat me like a human being instead of a damn sex object. My body is my temple.
I’m not a teenage parent, and don’t want kids at this point in my life, if ever. Maybe at 40 I’ll adopt.
I’m not a high school dropout.
I take control of my destiny and I’m not a victim, and I don’t appreciate people wanting me to play this role to make them more comfortable.
Some people have had some hard circumstances growing up, and the “single parent statisics” applies to them. Not me by a long shot.
We have it all backwards. We should focus on the parent that’s there instead of the deadbeat parent.
Why should I define my worth on someone who doesn’t want to be in my life and doesn’t want to be bothered with me? Why should they take up rent in my mind when I don’t take up rent in there’s?
Do not base your self worth on a person, even if they helped create you. And if they don’t want to be bothered with you, you are better off without them.
Found my dad on Facebook. Never met him.
Messaged him on Facebook.
He has been active everyday and still hasn’t responding.
He aids the stereotype of a "baby's daddy"
But this isn't about him
It's about me.
And anyone else who doesn't have an active father
Please don't use that as an excuse not to fulfill your full potential and stay on a positive path
You don't need a dad, and honestly you don't need anyone if you are determined
Not to say it isn't an amazing feeling to be loved.
But I did have an amazing grandpa.
Guess I got lucky.
P.S. I'm not mad and I never usually put my business out. But this.....oh this had to be said.
I’ll continue being GREAT!-Ronnie Edmonds
2. Being the only child growing up, I never went to the Disney movies wishing I was princess with the glass slipper. I wanted to know how to build my own wealth.
Ladies, have you ever noticed that they teach us to go after high net worth men but they are not so quick to teach us women how to get the high net worth ourselves?
Notice how so many are quick to say congratulations when we get engaged or married, but are not so quick to drop congratulations when we open our own businesses or do something for ourselves? We should get just as many or MORE congratulations and hi fives for professional achievements like we do for engagements and marriage.
The romances in real life isn’t like the fairytales anyways!
I have a lot of ambition, places to travel, and things to see. I’m an actress, musician, and started multiple businesses just to name a few. I think most guys would get in my way.
Here’s the thing:
1) Money: This is my biggest concern when it comes to marriage. I depended on a scholarship once in school (i.e. higher education), claiming that they would take care of me. They left as soon as they could. It was my first time being on my own, and the last I’ll ever trust someone in this way. Why I ever thought someone would do something for me without strings attached? 18 year old mistake. Nobody isn’t going to do something for nothing (maybe your mom or dad, grandparents maybe). I vowed to never let anyone, especially a guy put me in that position again, no matter how much he says he love me. He might say vows to me, then leave at any time.
A business woman told me once “he might die, leave you for a younger woman, or even cheat OR start feeling insecure because you’re doing better. " Always have your financials in order so you never have to depend on him. Historically, a woman needed a guy for financial stability and security. And for a while you needed a husband to buy a house or have a checking account. No more. Be your own b*****.
I want to keep my finances separate. I work for the money that I have and I don’t want risk losing it to a divorce or some other bull (I have investments, businesses, etc). I’m already behind because of the medical issues I had, and I don’t want anyone coming swooping in like a hawk to take it. The money is mine and I decide what I do with it. 2) I work very hard at my businesses and films. Many times, I have put in 100 hours plus on set or business (including travel). Can my potential husband deal with someone who works as hard as I do? Or would he complain because he doesn’t see me, or start cheating on me because he doesn’t get his way? 3) I’m aware that I’m on my own and can’t even trust most of my family and friends because like most people, they only come around when they want something. I rather go to a homeless shelter or complete strangers than ask most family or friends for help honestly, because when it boils down to it: instead of helping you, they will talk about you and make fun of you.
Sidestory: I’m the strong one that people can depend on, and borrow money from, but I’m the go to person that doesn’t really have a go to person to go to. A friend came to me and asked to borrow $500 once. I pictured myself in this position and wonder realistically how many people could I go to if it boils down to that?
I saw this in my friend’s story and I’m in the same boat my friend. None of my friends do it for me, because they care more about themselves. Nothing personal.
Poll: How many people are the person that your friends and family can trust but you can’t trust them back? Or how many people can get money from you when they need, but when you ask they either 1) Put you through grief 2) Tell you to figure it out. 3)Tell everyone about it.
Anywho, getting back to the point.
Some women have gotten their financial stability through marriage. They assume that the only way to get money or to have the lifestyle they have is to marry someone. To each their own. I even have some family friends that can’t believe that there is no other way to gain wealth: I can just look cute and have some guy give me the world.
No thank you. The price I would have to pay to gain financial stability through marriage is too steep. I have been down this road before and it didn’t end well for me. It’s not something I want to do. No thank you.
If that path works for you, all the power to you. I’m not doing it.
I’ll continue to be my #1 supporter, and reflect on my own journey.
If any issues come up, I’ll deal with them on my own like I’ve always have. I’ll read my own magazines and cancel any subscriptions I need to.
I’ve been let down so many times that I’ve become my own hero.
I like making mistakes and learning from them.
I’m my own responsibility. I claim my faults.
I let go of the need to be liked. Because I brazenly choose to be myself, I face a penalty from people.(See the video for more details, they explain it perfectly. They definitely socialize girls and women to be people pleasers and to mend themselves to be liked by others.)
I don’t need anyone criticizing me or telling me what I’m doing wrong all the time, like I said there’s plenty of room for mistakes. There’s a world doing plenty of criticizing already.
I have a very peaceful castle I call home. In the turbulent times we find ourselves in, it’s my peaceful space.
I’m no where near Vera Wang and Oprah Winfrey but I’m sure working my tail to get on Forbes at least.
So favor. Instead of introducing me to a guy that may or may not be good for me, or could try to use money to control me: Can you introduce me to a business opportunity or 2 that will increase my net worth even further? That way, I can continue to give myself everything? Thanks in advance.
3. As someone who is grew up in the Catholic church, midwestern United States, people ask me all the time. And they tell me I’ll find someone, and I don’t want to be left behind. All this s***. Without considering that I don’t want to be married in the first place.
I live in a society that’s extremely patriarchal and male oriented. They tend to judge a woman’s worth in terms of her relationship to men — with the role of wife and mother being seen as the ultimate prize of womanhood — and this is to the point of overshadowing whatever other amazing accomplishments she may have achieved beforehand or even go on to do afterwards. They assume that marriage is a women’s default mode or end game.
Some people don’t believe me when I say I’m happy without a husband or kids. They think I’m sitting around like a pigeon waiting on one of them to come save me like a damsel in distress, and I’m not.
I grew up witnessing multiple women friends, relatives, either 1. give up their dreams, 2. stay in abusive relationships, 3.operate from a place of low self-worth due to cultural, social constructs, religious and sexist based rules. 4. stop their lives and revolve it around their men. 5. Are so needy that they couldn’t make it without their guys. 6. Do you have one to add to the list?
I’ve seen people stay in bad marriages just to make other people happy and to fit in with society.
There’s people in my own family that think you are wierd for not wanting to be married, or think something is wrong with you if you stay single.
I have so many stories you would say Alesha. Shut the f**** up. No way. B**** are you serious.
I refuse to front appearances to go along with the status quo. I refuse to maintain a fake image. What you see is what you get with me. I can do bad and fall on my face by myself. I will rise on my own.
Marriage, or the idea that my self worth, happiness, purpose and life should be tied to a man is a turnoff. Marriage is more of a nightmare than my next step. It feels suffocating and like a neverending trap.
Even in grade school, I never chased boys because my goals were more important to me. They chased me to the point where I don’t ever want to be that desperate and thirsty for anyone.
I find that when I’m not looking, I’ve found great relationships. I’m open to all the possibilities, including marriage if it’s in the cards. I’m just not thirsty, desperate or waiting for a guy to save me.
When I needed someone to turn to at different periods of my life, I put on my big girl pants and saved myself. I will continue to save myself, just like James Altucter suggests to choose yourself. I’m choosing me. (I spelled your last name wrong, my bad man).
My true fairytale ending is being on Forbes, peace of mind and having my freedom to go along with it.
Marriage (or the idea that my worth, purpose, or happiness should be tied to a man) came to symbolize entrapment, restriction, and the loss of identity very early on in life. So, to quote Jessica Knoll (bestselling author of The Luckiest Girl Alive), ‘ever since I was a little girl, my fairy tale ending involved a pantsuit, not a wedding dress. Success meant doing something well enough to secure independence’ and, ultimately, my freedom.”-Nina
P.S. Nina from Bustle, I loved how you said it so much, that some of your words made it into this part.
4. In addition to being incredibly dated, the entire tradition of marriage is steeped in sexism the more I research it. As I Google it I say omg. No no no no no no no. I’M STILL LEARNING THINGS TO THIS DAY. When I go out I gotta remind the guy that I’m not desperate and they are not doing me any favors. They assume that every girl wants to get married to one of them.
A man is essentially treating the woman as a possession and property. By first asking a woman’s mom or dad for permission before asking the woman. He then proceeds to ‘buy’ her off by offering her an expensive present, engagement ring in return for her last name and loyalty for life. The woman becomes the guy’s property.
I always keep this quote that my friend Keisha Hall posted on Facebook a long time ago.
A lot of men think they are doing women a favor by asking for her hand in marriage, but let’s think about this :
she changes her name,
changes her home,
leaves her family,
moves in with you,
builds a home with you,
gets pregnant for you,
pregnancy changes her body,
she gets fat,
almost gives up in the labor room due to the unbearable pains of child birth,
even the kids she delivers bear your name.
Till the day she dies...everything she does, (cooking, cleaning your house, taking care of your parents,bringing up your children, earning, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed, maintaining all family relations, everything that benefit you.....sometimes at the cost of her own health , hobbies and beauty.
so who is really doing whom a favor?
Dear men appreciate the women in your lives always, coz it is not easy to be a woman.
*Being a woman is priceless*
So who is doing who the favor? I asked my exes if they would be willing to do the things they expect me to do as a lady. Every one of them said hell no.
From the looks of it, they admitted the guy get all the benefits and the woman gives up more. Sure, some of them expressed that they would be giving up their freedom. But I’m expected to give up my name, my body, my life including assuming that I’m going to take your last name, right. They nodded their heads.
It’s ok if you want to have six kids, as long as you have them, not me!
Compromise: 6 cats and dogs instead. 😍
5. I’ve had fellas chase me down for a long while to the point where I could have been married yesterday if I wanted to, but didn’t want to settle for less. I don’t want to marry just to say I’m married. At this point, if I find someone, great. But I’ve never waited around for anyone to swoop me off my feet. Repeated from #3.
Instead of overly looking and running around like my head is cut off, I’ll be the right person instead of looking.
I’m not going to get married because my biological time clock is clicking and I feel like “I’m running out of time." I rather freeze my eggs and adopt a kid or two. Or three.
I’m not going to get married to solve problems. I don’t know how it came to be that getting married makes other problems go away.
I’m not going to get married because someone told me I’m too “nice looking to be single”, and once again I remind them a male doesn’t define my worth. No amount of pressure or people saying I’m gonna get left behind is going to make me marry any quicker. It makes me not want to marry at all. Anytime there’s peer pressure to do something, I automatically go in the opposite direction of what everyone else is doing.
I’m not going to marry just as a status symbol, just to push on social media for months until the excitement dies down. Or overly post just to have people say look at us, omfg! I’m not going to expect people to bow to me like I’m a royal, or like I conquered some snow shark in Antarctica somewhere. Many people all around the world get married. I’m not going to expect 5 star treatment because I got a ring on my finger.
I’m not going to get married just to get taken for granted.
I’m not going to put my life on hold and not live it because I don’t have a guy. (Or overly post me kissing my guy on social media throughout relationships). I’m going to live my life.
I’m not going to overly post my newly purchased cars and houses on social media for everyone to see. Been there and done that. If I do it will be for close and trusted friends only.
I have learned to be happy alone, instead of expecting someone else to make me happy. We have to stop with the toxic narrative that romantic love is the only way to experience love.
I’ve chosen my life instead of picking what was chosen for me. Over our lifetimes, we are given expectations to abide by. Can you shred these expectations and live for yourself and not others? I will not start doing what others want. I will not be pushed into a marriage.
This pandemic has given me the opportunity to distance myself from many people, which lessens my chances of the “marriage” question. Wahoo! 🙌
The solution to loneliness isn’t locking yourself and another person into a legal partnership you each might grow to regret – it’s learning how to be content whether you are in a relationship or not.-Georgia Heath
6. Here’s a group of pictures that explains my situation perfectly.
I used to think I was an introvert because I really liked being alone but it turns out that I just like my peace, and I am very extroverted around people who bring me peace. -Jhene Aiko
I have everything I need now. I do not need another person to complete me or sustain me. I am happy and fulfilled. I may meet someone who will make me happier than I am today. Meanwhile, I will enjoy what I have today.
It’s gonna take something extraordinary to convince me. Good luck fellas.
- I don’t believe in it at this time, if ever.
- I don’t trust easily.
- I do like going to weddings, but I don’t care about having one for myself.
- I do like my freedom.
- I don’t see how getting married would add value in my life.
- I rather travel.
- I love being independent.
- I’m not interested in changing my last name.
- I’ve seen a lot of drawbacks to marriage. I have a humungous family. I have stories for days.
- I don’t see marriage as exciting at this time nor do I see it as my next step.
- I don’t want to pick a life that was chosen for me. I want to choose.
- I feel fulfilled on my own. Not everyone needs to share their life with another person to be totally happy. Imma keep doing me. And you do you.
- There’s some women that want guys so bad that they spend their lives chasing them down OR go after guys in relationships OR date and marry friends’ exes. Guys are not that deep to me. They are there, much love to them. But I won’t EVER go after a friend’s ex. On the other hand, some guys will date through a whole friend group or sisters in a family if you let them.
- If I get married, great. (I’ll invite you or have a live video for you to watch if you don’t want to come lol.) If I don’t, no big deal. I don’t go to weddings wishing I was the bride, and I move out the way when the boutique is thrown, I don’t wanna catch that sucker lol.
8. Anytime a guy tells me they are a “God fearing man” my eyebrows are raised. If you are a “Christian” and a good person, show it and be it. If you have to yell it across the mountain tops, I’m not going to be impressed. Some of the worst guys I’ve met were the ones in the pews trying to pretend to be good people and they were the worst.
9. I’ve read the guys who tried to pursue me like a book. (Ladies, guys are not that hard to figure out.). The idea of being involved with particular few horrified me. Others had promise, but they got on my nerves with the insecurities and playing games. It’s especially a turn off when some guys are obsessed to the point where I’m their whole world. I’m a human being. Not something to chase or a notch under their belt. Instead of messaging me 20 times on social media, give back. Have a purpose. That’s more attractive than 20 “HEY" text messages. Get a life. Stop chasing people. Do what you love, and you will attract the right people in your life, and maybe the person who likes you will like you back. Be ok if they don’t like you back romantically. Value yourself and have some self respect so you don’t have to feel attached. Instead of looking for love outside yourself, love yourself first. Be the star in your own movie, and don’t be so desperate for a cameo in someone else’s project.
9a. My love language is giving me the space to live my life and not smothering the hell out of me. I’ll gladly give a guy the same space in return. I’ll never call a guy or anyone 8, 9, 10 times in a day. That s*** is crazy. 1 or 2 texts to check in will do it. But not 100 texts.
10. I’m not gonna get heavy into double standards in this article, but let’s face some facts. Guys who sleep around are called pimps and players, ladies who have the same sexual appetite are called sluts and whores. I got the memo.
I’ve had some guys call me after 1 am, sent me “You Up" texts. I didn’t respond to them until the daytime, and showed them better than I can tell them that I’m not that damn crazy to be in a hotel room with them by myself unless I’m looking for action. C’mon now.
Do you think I was gonna respond to all that at 1 am, 2 am in the morning? Hell no. I’m not that stupid. If I don’t want hanky panky spanky (and in those cases and a lot others I didn’t like the guys) I stay out of hotel rooms, recording studios with a guy one on one, especially ones who have shown romantic interest. The bottom line is if something happens, I will get the usual victim blaming that women catch.
You shouldn’t have been up there in the first place.
You pregnant? You trapped me.
Boys will be boys
I’m not interested in being held to a particular standard or dealing with the expectation of being a “perfect wife". No one is perfect, and women shouldn’t be punished for making mistakes or having an off day. I remember seeing people and teachers let guys get away with way more than the girls did at different periods in school.
One of the other main reasons I’m not interested in marriage is I’ve seen way too many women get taken for granted. Raising kids, cooking, cleaning, maintaining a home, etc is often expected without question, but they also don’t see any direct “monetary value" in it because it’s not directly connected to getting a paycheck. Creating, maintaining and keeping a home on top of the other duties are huge jobs that people overlook. Marriage involves jobs/responsibilities/obligations that I have no interest in at this time (and kudos to the ladies and some guys that maintain the home on a daily basiswith a brave face).
- I do not ask about a person’s relationship unless they bring it up first. In extending this courtesy I hope they stay out of my personal life, sometimes it doesn’t pan out this way lol.
- I’m happy being a third wheeler, and eating food out the fridge.
- I can always tell the women/men who are happy with their decision to stay single versus the ones who wish they were married/dating. I call them cupid’s. A dead giveaway is they are always bringing relationships up.
Why did I get left behind?
I want a man so badly.
I want someone warm to sleep with at night.
I want to have an anniversary with someone.
Oh geezer. Just give me a electric blanket and my dog to cuddle with, and I’ll be good.
I find that this is the second group of people that always ask me: 1st group are a mix of boy men crazy and widowers, 2nd group are women who never been into relationships but fantasize. Instead of putting all this effort into hooking me up with a guy, why don’t you put that effort into yourself? Just a thought.
I’m usually the butt of games. As long as it stays a joke, I’ll go along with the game, I guess. I can’t win them all.
12. People do think something is wrong with you when you sidestep this social norm of marriage, but fail to tell you how hard marriage is, and an understanding of what commitment looks like. Is anyone ever ready for the commitment that marriage requires?
Happily ever after isn’t guaranteed.
They are quick to have a day based around the bride and groom, and say how pretty the dress is. But no one isn’t so quick to tell you about the life afterwards.
Distant 3rd group: I notice that some people who had unsuccessful marriages are the same ones who want me to experience it, like they want me to miserable like they were. Like they want to see me get hurt or abused like they were or still are. Misery truly loves company.
I’ve seen a few successful marriages here and there. I don’t really see myself in that equation. I grew up watching bad and abusive marriages that I said I’m good homie. No one really knows what happens behind closed doors anyways. Are they really happy couple, or are they fronting for social media?
I think I made my point. If I think of something else, I’ll add it.
End of August 2020 Update
I saw a excellent post on Facebook.
Just because I’m polite to someone, especially a guy, that means nothing. I’m just being nice.
There has been a few guys in my hey day that saw me a hunk of meat instead of a human being, and it’s a turnoff. I had to distance myself from some guys I wanted to record music with because of it.
I’m not here to be your plaything or another notch under your belt.
I do not like to assume things, but when I saw a guy making a mountain out of a molehill, I had to tell them to knock it off.
Being nice, having things in common does not mean I automatically romantically like a guy nor would I assume he’s thinking the same thing about me UNLESS we had an honest, mature adult conversation about our feelings.
Not all guys do this, but it’s terribly annoying. Like this lady on Facebook said, it’s usually guys that don’t get a lot of attention from ladies, and when one is polite with them that guy have the audacity to think that lady wants them sexually.
If you ever hear guys from my hometown call me ice princess, it’s probably because they didn’t have their way with me. I address things up front and say look man here’s the deal. You either love it or hate it.
I don’t know if it’s the law of attraction or what, but these articles popped up while searching for something else. They fit in to what I’m already saying in this article already. It would have been nice if these showed up while writing the articles months ago, but better late than never.
- Yep, I don’t care if a guy hits on me or not, going out with friends is no longer about hunting for a hottie. Check. I love being the third wheel. check. Definitely happy about friends being in relationships. Check. I’m happy they are happy. I’m not sizing up every guy I meet as boyfriend/husband material. I don’t freak out when I don’t have a plus one. I can go to movies and other places on my own anyways. Check. Check. Check.
Being single isn’t a death sentence and it doesn’t make you any less of an amazing person. Single or not single, you should be happy with who you are as a person and worry less about your relationship status.
Shit, they make you THINK your friends are either talking to someone, dating someone seriously, engaged, or already married with their 2.5 kids. It’s almost like everyone is pushing this idea that you have to be in a relationship. But guess what you don’t have to be.
3. I refuse to settle. Check. I live my life and don’t let it revolve around finding someone. Check. I enjoy the single life, I do have trips to go on and people to meet. Check. According to some people my confidence is VERY intimidating. I don’t get jealous of others. Too in love with single life? Check check check. The most obvious one they forgot on here is I don’t f***** want to be in one.
4. Being in a relationship does not consumes me. Every weekend is NOT a hunting expedition to land a significant other. In fact I could give zero f***s. I do not date someone because they show me interest first. If I could get money for every time that happened, I’ll be a multi-millionaire 10 times over. I do not assume everyone I date will turn into a long term committed relationship. I’m not that desperate or thirsty. I love spending holidays and major milestones by myself (friends can come over when pandemics aren’t happening though). Check check check.
“Work on your self-esteem and get your value from who you are as a person — not what you are to someone else. In short, looking for fulfillment outside instead of inside never ends well. “No one should be responsible for loving you better and more than you love yourself. Making someone a condition for your happiness is a trap. Be single. Learn to love yourself then watch that amazing person enter your life with ease.- Lisa Concepcion
5. I like doing things on my own. Being the only child growing up, it’s nothing but a thing to me. I’ve been let down so much that I decided that Alesha Peterson is gonna save Alesha Peterson. People have given me MANY reasons not to trust them, so I don’t unless they proven themselves trustworthy. I can do bad by myself. If I do good, it’s my fault. If I do bad it’s my fault. Check. Personal mastery. Check. Definitely seeking out my callings despite being successful in several areas. Check.
You can exit my life as easily as you entered it. Yes, Having gone through so much on my own, I have built my fortress of power and courage. Strong people will never give up the fight, in spite of all the sufferings and cruelties inflicted on them by the harsh world. Check. Requires a multi-nation army of mass protection? Check. I don’t give a f*ck” attitude. Check. Image of steel nails? Check.
Strong people face difficulties and suffer the same sufferings as anyone else would. But the way they respond to hardships is all that makes the difference. They know how to efficiently turn adversities to virtues.
Strong people have difficult lives because they can take what life throws at them.
Being stronger doesn’t make your life easier but it’s just that you’re prepared to take on anything that comes your way. You know how to rise again when you fall. The difficulty is but another path for a strong person, a path which is traveled by a few people but holds glorious rewards.
6. This article says that being single isn’t societally dismissed, but it still is in many cases. When we can get to the point where people stop asking me about boyfriend or husbands while I’m out or at family reunions, we will be getting somewhere. Some people are just better at solitary and in fact may even prefer it. Check. Is quite content with their circumstances, and prefer living la vida solo? Check. There’s no reason to force yourself into doing something you’re just not that into. Check. At the end of the day, you are the only one who can live your life,” Sherica Matthews says. “Don’t let the pressures of society or friends tell you that you must be in a relationship, that you must be married. Do what’s best for your soul and helps you sleep at night.” If you’re happy, don’t knock it. Check, check. Check.
If I find a guy, great, but I can go to my grave a happy single b*****. No regrets.
Being single is not a problem; in fact, it can be healthier than living with someone in a dysfunctional relationship.
When a person is content in their own self, they have confidence in themselves to live how they want. They do not have to concern themselves with the impossible task of making someone happy, or to live under someone else’s thumb.” Instead, you’re living life exactly as you please, and don’t give two hoots about what someone else might want or think. Being content with their life and living it their way is a joy seldom found by most people. Don’t worry about expectations.- Melinda Carver
Don’t give two hoots about what someone else might want or think. Being content with their life and living it their way is a joy seldom found by most people.
I really wish people knew how much I don’t give a f***
December 2020 Update:
I’ve recently read an article that confirms what I’ve always suspected: Marriage Disproportionally Benefits Men .
And in any relationship I’ve ever been in, like Gillian, the love of my life has never, and will never, complete me. It does creates a very dangerous belief that one in themselves is not complete or adequate in their own, and that they require another person to bring fulfillment and value to their lives. I’m with you when you right sis.
Even Dr. Phil admitted during a recent segment of his show that women get caught with doing more housework chores and get caught up with doing more, and he’s not saying it’s right but he wanted to point it out. Because it doesn’t bring monetary or obvious value men take it for granted.