Why Not Me?

Hello! I just realized that I have a lot of drafts that are stuck in my inbox. I decided to start clearing my inbox and start writing regularly again.

Warning: Not fully finished and a longer article, with a lot of errors, but I hope you get the point! The first part of this article was from a Daniel Dipiazza email. The second part is from a lot of entrepreneurs I’ve learned from (along with this one dude who had a AWESOME ARTICLE. I’ll add his name soonish. This article has been in my Medium draft box for over a year and I don’t remember. My bad folks!)

Can you even NAME the last resolution that you followed through with?

Most people can’t.

Why?

Because we’ll always have “perfectly reasonable” excuses for why we don’t achieve the goals we set for ourselves:

• “Oh, I was going to apply for that new job…but I just got busy. I just need to find the time to sit down and work on my resume…”
• “Yeah, I was going to start a side business this year…but I just needed to do a little more research first to make sure I wasn’t making any mistakes. I’ll start working on it next month when things ‘settle down.’”
• “I wanted to lose weight this year…but I’m too tired to go to the gym after work. I’ll just have to ‘figure it out.’”

On and on we go, letting ourselves get away with talking like this — sabotaging our own dreams for years at a time.

Procrastination. Fear of the unknown. Confusion about what to do first. They’re all factors holding us back.

But what about those people who actually DO accomplish their dreams and follow through with the things they commit to?

Do me a favor — Look on your Facebook news feed or scroll through instagram.

There are people traveling the world, getting in the best shape of their lives and launching successful startups.

There are pictures of people ziplining through the rainforest, eating at fancy restaurants and getting into new, exciting relationships.

F**KERS! STOP BEING SO HAPPY!

Some of these people may be friends of yours — and I’m sure you’re happy for them.

And you’re not trying to be a “hater”….

But be honest with yourself for one freaking second…it’s kinda annoying, isn’t it?

Yes, we all know that people only put their best moments on social media, so sometimes the perceptions we have of them can become warped…

Yet even so…haven’t you ever thought, “Why not me?”

Why aren’t you traveling the world or learning to salsa dance in Barcelona?

Why aren’t you starting a new business that affords you the freedom to explore the world on your own terms?

Why do you have to look at all this from behind a computer screen while other people get to LIVE it?

The truth is, some people are able to make radical, life-changing progress in a year’s time, while others struggle to do more than work, eat and sleep.

Daniel you’re the guy!

My story: If you read enough of my articles, you will know that I was rejected a lot and I never fit the mold of how others wanted me to be. Even in my school days, there was areas that I wanted to tweak about myself, but 3/4 of the time I tried to join a club or something to improve I was turned down. I stuck my neck out there to give it the good o try, but I was thrown away.

Admiring others is great, but……….

Ironically, you realize later that rejection means that your mission is meant to be elsewhere and sometimes you are getting re-directed to something better. I will admit that I was told that I was intimidating to some because I’ve always taken the different path.

Good news is as long as you have a heart beat inside of you, you can still change. But the pain of staying the same has to be bigger than the pain of changing.

Now to the article.

Most people love the mental image more than they desire to put in the work to get it. They are more in love with how the idea looks, than with the process of taking part in the actions that it requires to make the idea happen.- Oaktown Vibes

Why Not You? Here’s A Few Theories.

1. You’re Lazy AF And Your Words Don’t Match Your Actions

If you can see yourself crossing the finish line, you are already half way there…all you need to do now is take the necessary actions to get there. The work that it takes to bring this vision to life can be either hard or effortless, it’s all up to your mental attitude and your “why”. Most people don’t do want to do the work it takes because their “why” is not strong enough. They want the success and everything that comes with it, more than they want to accomplish the goal, when in fact, success is a byproduct of the accomplishment. Having the proper perspective and a sense of purpose is the antidote to laziness.

2. You Hate On Other’s Success

Are you a hater or a go getter? The time that they spend hating on someone else they could be doing epic shit with their life? But what do they do instead? They hate on people that did the work, but secretly wish they can do the same thing themselves.

Some people will hate you because they see you enjoying success they don’t have from the work they haven’t done. If you are reading this and. Did you know that jealously and envy is a source of negative energy? That it really doesn’t build you up to tear others down?

When it all boils down, it takes no effort on your part to fantasize about the life or the results we want but it takes 100% effort to make it happen. If it takes up too much time and requires a sacrifice, most people wont even make an attempt and they’ll even go out of their way to justify it by creating excuses, or what I like to call “crutches”.

People will dupe themselves into believing their own excuses because they don’t want to face the fact that they never really wanted the dream in the first place.

3. You’re afraid to stand out

People are creatures of habit and rarely like to step outside of what is comfortable. No one wants to be the odd one out, but in order to be #1, you have to be odd. The only way to be noticed is to be peculiarly different, and most people are scared to be themselves in fear of what others will say. Learn to embrace being the lone wolf, no one achieved anything great by going with the crowd

3a. You’re Living The Broken Rules Everyone Else Is Living

If it’s popular it’s wrong. Most people are mediocre at what they do for a reason. They’re playing by rules that halt optimal performance. They are climbing traditional ladders intended to slow them down and keep them average.

Ben Hardy hits the nail on the head. Instead of following the rules set by society, create your own rules. Restructure the game to automate your success. Dismiss the haters, convention, and conformity. Follow your heart and the voice inside you encouraging faith and forward movement. In order to be happy, you must build a lifestyle around being true to yourself. If you’re true to yourself, good things will follow.

4. You Care About What Others Think Way Too Much

Most dreams are extinguished before they even get started because most people are fearful of what others may think and say about them. It’s normal to seek the support and validation of the ones closest to you, but when you have a vision that only you can see, you have to learn how to develop a thick skin and selective hearing. People will congratulate you for accomplishing something that they themselves believe they can do, but the moment you mention doing something that they believe is out of their grasp, you open yourself up to ridicule and negative feedback. Embrace it, and continue on. Its your vision and no one else needs to see it, if you can see it.

Misfits are important to business and society because they’re unafraid to carve their own path, which is necessary in business for making considerable progress and change.-Nicole Cifani, Why It Pays To Be A Misfit

5. You Are Being Realistic

The most detrimental thing any of us has ever been told, is to be realistic. Ideas that change the world are not “realistic”, they are revolutionary and they are ideas that the world has never seen before, hence the overwhelming impact of the idea to a point where the world has no choice but to change. Amazing ideas bring about extraordinary results. In order to get big, you have to think big. Not only should your thoughts be colossal but you have to believe in the reality you’re creating more than you believe in the current reality that you are now experiencing. In order to get to a destination, you have to see it first and experience it long before you get there.

My friend distracts himself from his big objective with other projects because his other projects have a clearer path. The uncertainty and fears associated with being wrong are his behavioral inhibition system at work.

In other words, his over-focus on the risks and under-focus on the reward/goal keeps him from acting. Instead of acting, he purposefully distracts himself away from even thinking about the decision. Thus, he’s getting nowhere closer to solving his problem.

Unfortunately for my friend, and for many others like him, this isn’t a one-time experience. Actually, it’s a reflection of his entire life.

He actually hates his whole job, not just this one project. But he stays at his job because it has a clear path. It’s safe and secure. His parents are pleased with him being at a big and respectable company.- Ben Hardy, How To Make Bold Decisions, Even When Your Friends Or Parents Want You To Pay Safe

5. You’re afraid of failure

We all would love to get it right on the first try, what ever it is that we are working toward, but failure is a key part to the process. Failure is where we learn about ourselves and we are able to see what works and what doesn’t work. This part of the process isn’t where we give up and go with something safe, failure is where we get all the answers to the test. When it doesn’t work out the first time, the second or the 50th time, our mistakes teach us the formula that will work the next time we attempt. Failure is where we find the winning lottery ticket.

6. You honestly don’t want it that bad

You aren’t hungry enough. Simple as that. People will fight tooth and nail for something that they really want. The difference between successful people and people who settle is this… successful people never quit. This mindset of never giving up is spurred on by hunger. What motivates one person may not motivate another but as mentioned in the previous points, your “why” is directly tied to this hunger and when your “why” means that much to you, nothing in the world can stop you. Period

7. You have toxic associates

We are the total sum of the individuals that we spend the most amount of time with. Energy is contagious, whether it be positive or negative. If the people you associate with have only been exposed to a life of working with their hands for everything they have ever gotten in life, they wont be able to comprehend an entrepreneurial mindset. You have to surround yourself with people who get it, otherwise you will be sucked back into the collective thought patterns of your peers.

The beautiful thing about being honest with ourselves, is that we have the choice to change the course of how our story will go when we pin point what needs to be changed. Bad habits can be disrupted and new ones formed. We have the choice to be proactive about our lives instead of just allowing life to happen to us. Choose to be great.

8. EXCUSES

“You’re a minority”

“You’re black you will have a harder time”

The excuses that professors and my advisers in school used DROVE ME THE F*CK CRAZY. Like I’m unaware. I know what I am, and I don’t need it shoved down my throat every 5 minutes.

Look, I get it I live in a racist world and there’s a chance that a racist thing could happen to me. But what I personally don’t do? I don’t use the race card. “Aw shit this person might do something racist towards me today.” I don’t spend hours thinking about all the bad things that could happen that actually hasn’t happened. That’s counter-productive.

As Denzel Washington said in an interview, “if you are looking for an excuse, you can find one.” When asked about the #OscarsSoWhite controversy. He wasn’t thinking about it because he’s focused on doing the best he can.

I didn’t focus on the excuses that people made for me growing up. I just didn’t.

I’m up for doing the best I can no matter what.

I noticed the minute I separated myself from that, and surrounded myself with like-minded people, it was a game changer. Separating myself from people like that was the best thing I could have ever done.

In an unfortunate case where a racist incident does happen? I’ll handle it accordingly.

Hello There! I’ve been involved in different businesses in several different capacities from being ceo, coo, co-founder, and more. I’ve learned so much from creating businesses, and I look forward to all the learning experiences I will have from starting new ventures.

With one business I was involved with, we made it possible to install a little device with customized hardware and a SaaS solution implemented to the router, the business owner was able see live data about social media info collected.

With another company, we had professional internet marketing company that focus on digital marketing campaigns, services and jobs such as SEO, PPC, Online Reputation Management, and social media marketing.

With EYT, I oversaw day-to-day operations and keeping the CEO apprised of significant events;Yes I actually talk with my business partner on a daily basis. I created operations strategy and policies; Communicated strategy and policy to employees and interns; Fostering employee alignment with corporate goals; and overseeing human resource management. I also delegate tasks to my team.

My current project is Bones’ Custom Guitar. We create custom guitars for musicians with imported wood. No one Bones’ guitar is the same. We also repair guitars. Jared, my band mate came up with the idea and foundation for Bones’.

Long story cut short. I’ve been playing gigs and booking shoots. My go to guitar, Blu Blu broke during this. When I went to get it repaired in Indy getting it fixed cost way more than the actual cost of the guitar.

It didn’t seem right. After talking with other musicians in Indianapolis, Chicago, Nashville and other cities for second opinions they thought the shop was trying to pull a fast one. So our mission is to offer fair prices for repairs and custom guitars for fellow musicians.

We are both Indy & LA based.

My biggest project currently? I’m also involved in entertainment as an actress, founder, and producer. We are currently producing 2 film projects with one of them having 1 million in financing.

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