Ironically, I was moved to write this on Good Friday.

I’m well aware that I’m not every one’s cup of tea. I rather be someone’s shot of Tequlia anyways.

It’s the 4th of May, so may the force be with you all.

I’m gonna tie the Kim+Taylor situation in to all this.

At first, no one believed Taylor. Kim took little snippets of video. The world bashed Taylor.

I understand what Taylor went through and always suspected she was telling the truth, because the exact same thing happened to me, at a non famous level.

Long ago, a group of classmates turned on me after a rumor was spread by a girl who was my supposed bff that was out to destroy my life. Basically they were jealous because I’m light skinned, and had long hair. We were never close and I didn’t particularly care about being friends with them.

The staff at my grade school played politics, some tried to switch my grades to lower numbers on purpose (this is verified by a long time friend of mine who also won’t touch the place anymore), and did what they could to make me miserable. At graduation, the ultimate pot shot was giving a scholarship that I was supposed to get to someone else, just to try to get a reaction out of me and my family.

The whole story is right here, but basically no one took my side, and both the adults and kids did what they could subtly and on the surface to mess up my life.

It ended up being ok because some at my high school heard what happened. And made up for it.

As an adult, I choose not to engage any of my grade school peeps nor do I show up at the school for any reason (a few I do keep in touch with the cool ones). I hear through the grapevine that some of my grade school folks try to keep up with what I’m doing. The bad people are apparently gone, but I decided to start over elsewhere.

Taylor had millions bashing her. My classmates on a smaller scale bashed me. Kim won for a little bit. My former best friend had fun for a couple days (towards the end of 8th grade year).

Do you find that you are the odd one out? Read this. Throughout different stages in my life, I never had one social group. I’ve heard stories of people being friends with the same group of people from childhood, and raising their kids together but that isn’t me.

I’ve ran with several groups over the years. I mentioned to one friend from one party group I was in that we partied and we were crazy.

I notice as I reach out to many people who I haven’t talked to in a while to ask them how they are doing during this coronavirus period of time we find ourselves in, I realized how many people have removed me as friends on Facebook.

But they are still friends with our mutual friends.

When it comes to dumping, I’m usually the first one on the list to get the boot.

Why? I’m a solo wolf, like to eat alone and not a cliquey person.

When you think for yourself and when you are your own person, sometimes you will face opposition from people. Quirky and unique traits that you should be celebrated for are the same traits you are hated for.

Ownership I take in this? Once you been burned, you learn to move carefully and slowly with people. Sure there were people that wanted to get close to me, but I wasn’t sure if I could trust them. I don’t spill the beans as quick and my wall can be high as hell. No one usually takes the time to knock the walls down or understand why I’m that way.

Here’s another way of looking at it. Sometime you are expected to act a certain way, like a certain style of music, or like certain things because that’s what makes other people comfortable. Or because you come from a background, race or culture they expect you to be a certain way . They don’t know that you can also exceed expectations, be yourself and thrive.

In other words, because I’m black I was expected to be and act a certain way in grade school and in this world.

In other words, I’m supposed to spend $300 on Jordan’s because it makes them feel more comfortable with a stupid perception?

Yes Flavicon, it’s a very toxic mindset that continues to exist.

(And Jimmy From The Grapevine, your prospective is very important, we might not see eye to eye on everything but I’ll be a listening ear, it does get boring when everyone agrees in a discussion anyways! 🌝)

I like anime, manga, (analyzing why the hell Dragon Ball GT was so short, and who Goku Jr’s parents are as a long time DBZ fan), martial arts, polo, building wealth. I like hiking in nature. I play 6 different instruments (guitar, ukulele, harmonica, piano, drums, steel drums, working on adding more everyday). This is to name a few. I don’t try to go out of my way to impress anyone either.

Do you find that you don’t fit in anywhere and don’t think you have friends? It might appear that way, but it isn’t true. Find people who like the same things you do.

In many scenarios, I was in the organization, but never a favorite or in the inner group.

I was liked, but not good enough in their eyes to to be picked for the awakening retreat team every semester. They say they were giving people other chances, but it’s usually the same group of inner circle people that got picked. I can understand people in Hollywood doing this sort of thing, but to see in happen in church, a place where you are “supposedly” supposed to be loved by your brothers and sisters in Christ, it sucks. This is why find myself more and more not wanting to be bothered. Sure, they hit you up when they need donations and support for the church, but any other time of the year? They cast you aside and act like you’re no use to them. Like many in the world, if they can’t use you, they don’t want to be bothered. And that attitude doesn’t just disappear just because you are in a church.

Sure, I was involved with Dance Marathon, but never was I invited to dinner with intimate groups of people.

Sure, I was in a service organization Alpha Phi Omega, but I was never invited to friendsgivings or spring break trips. We were cool, but wasn’t close. Sure I was voted a pledge trainer. But in their eyes, I didn’t cut the mustard on being president

I wasn’t in any inner circles, I was on the outer rings. I’ve gotten good at rebuilding my social circles. I go to different environments where people don’t know me or my history. Friendships don’t grow over night, but with time you start finding people drifting in your direction.

Some people have come and gone, and some of us can pick up right where we left off. Sometimes I find that we weren’t close and drifted apart.

Other times I find that we weren’t friends in the first place.

So how do I circle this back to Taylor+Kim?

I get exactly where Taylor is coming from. I’ve had people try to be friends with me just to backstab me. In these instances I take peace in my alone time, because I can do bad by myself. I enjoy my own company.

On a lighter note.

I’ve always respected Kim as a businesswoman, influencer, etc-because making money is a talent in itself. I love supporting fellow entrepreneurs and love to see people doing well. But if I was a private friend, I would tell her personally (not publicly to the media) that this is wrong. As a older lady, why would you engage in this kind of behavior?

After she got in a fight with her sister, I can start to understand why Beyonce and other celebrities distancing themselves from her.

I’m happy (as this comment pointed out) that people are now starting to realize she’s just defending herself (like any other person would). I’ve sided with Taylor way before longer clips came out because I can empathize with what she’s lived through. I lived through the non-famous edition. For years many people didn’t side with me. And I survived and thrived despite.

But they eventually get there’s.

For people that think that they are getting away with hurting someone, you will reap what you sow.

P.S. I do like Ariana & Taylor and lowkey hate how they try to put competition btwn them all the time. Stop this shit.