Auntie Alesha
I found my purpose. And I found my lane and I’m thriving in it!
I’m thriving as a child-free lady for life! And I’m launching yet another lifestyle brand around it.
Getting millions of views on YouTube made me realize I’m on the right path.
On top of seeing angel numbers, I saw this quote.
“May you get a sign that shows you that you’re on the right path and that things are flowing and moving in your favor. May the sign(s) be evident, clear and direct.”-blackpreneurmedia
Clear and direct signs:
Getting 100,000 views twice in a week on YouTube.
Getting millions of views on YouTube.
3 of my Youtube channels growing by 999%.
Over 700,000 growth on Spotify.
Youtube left me a note, saying my growth is over 2,971% because I published 20+ videos multiple days at a time.
Seeing angel numbers ALL THE TIME.
(And just to make it clear, Auntie Alesha is my newest channel and it hasn’t gotten these numbers yet but I believe it will).
Just in case you haven’t read over these….
Unofficial Part 2.
- I watched a little bit of After Shock the documentary and said nope. But it does open up the doors and gets these questions popping in my head: How can I be an advocate for moms? (Especially black moms, the black maternal death rates is too high.)
- I came across a crossroads in recent years. It was either improve my quality of life, or keep enduring pain for the possibilities of wanting kids in my future. I decided to improve my quality of life (and I have health issues and what comes along with it is fertility issues. I’ve been in and out of the hospital a lot. Nope, motherhood is not for me. There’s people on this YouTube video comment section that understands me more than the people in my life.
- I saw on the news this lady has 5,000 cousins. My mom is one of 13, grandpa one of 11 on one side of the family. According to what I keep hearing, I have so many cousins that it’s impossible to meet them all. If I put my info in 23&Me and see that we have thousands of cousins, I’m good. Besides, my great grandkids wouldn’t know who the f*ck I am after a few generations anyways….
- Just read this shit, because after reading for the first 5 minutes, you will realize, that I, Alesha, is an auntie. I leave nothing to the imagination. Some of you might said, damn, that b**ch said what? If you can’t stand the heat don’t come into my kitchen.
- I’ve listened to well intentioned advice in my past just to realize that it wasn’t for me, and it was too late to turn around and change it. I got into several circumstances thinking it was one way and it ended up being another, or thinking it was going to improve my life and it did the opposite. I’m not saying I won’t listen to other’s advice, but this time I know what to take and what to leave. Listening to my own intuition got me millions of views on Youtube, Medium and Soundcloud. I saw a 700,000 jump on Spotify and a 2,971% on Youtube. And 999% jump on several of my channels.
Barbiel is here to remind you that you did the best with what you could do with the knowledge that you had at that time.
It doesn’t mean I have to keep being stupid and an idiot about it at the same time.
My point? Dr. Phil made a very good point one time. Past behavior predicts future behavior. If they haven’t been coming, or being supportive, they are not going to start showing up or being supportive. It’s not going to happen because I wish them to, want them to, and hope for them too. When I needed people to show up, they didn’t. People shown themselves time and time again, so I learned not to need or be too reliant; when they keep letting you down, they are going to keep letting you down. I read the writing on the wall. I cannot/will not have kids, and think the world is going to come save me or help, especially if I’m suffering or drowning. If I have kids, I would get zero support. So when people ask me “are you going to have kids?” My response is are you going to take care of them? I’m an auntie, because a deadbeat, uninterested mom would be my next title. And the biggest thing I want to emphasize: Instead of looking to the world: I figure out what I want in a partner/friendship to do for me and do it for myself. I choosing to be an auntie. I got better at receiving things when I gave it to myself (i.e. I literally figured out to a certain degree how to build businesses and get views on my YouTube and other social media without spending a dime on ads. By no means do I consider myself an Youtube expert or guru. Through trial and error, I’m figuring out my Youtube channels.)
I do no try to assess why people do or don’t show up, why they do or don’t support, or why they do or don’t care. Or why they claim they care and love me but never show up. This is not PSY 120. When people show me that they are not trustworthy and display toxic behaviors, I’m glad in those many situations I stuck with my gut.
My ownership? I might not let people in, but when they show me better than they can tell me that I’m better off by myself. I take notes. My experiences taught me that it’s safer to go through difficult seasons alone than to trust the wrong people (thank you Mitchell C Clark). 2nd ownership: Sticking around the situations wayyy too long, holding out hope that things would change (because after all people make mistakes, but once I’m done, I’m done.). Not using acquaintance more, because some people didn’t deserve to be called a friend throughout the time we knew each other.
The people that you vibe with will come into your life effortlessly. And love you for who you are flaws and all. Life isn’t perfect or easy, but I rather be more independent than dependent. I faced harsh and cruel consequences over trusting the wrong people.
6. Some male friends in my life have asked me if I want kids, and it just seems like it’s more of a way to pry for inquiring minds. First and foremost, to answer the initial question, f*** no. (FYI, I’m currently about to prepare for surgeries, and being a child-free woman, instead of just being a friend and just asking how I’m feeling, you ask me if I want kids? I would rather be tied on a rocket ship that malfunctions in the middle of the air right after take-off, than be a mother.) I told a cousin recently, I’m not trying to push anyone away, but at the same time; I think they are stepping into uncharted territory i.e. asking questions that’s none of their business. Then when I give them a piece of my mind, I’m seen as the bad girl/guy. Your auntie/friend that your sister needs a friend right now because my nerves are high for surgeries. If you like me in a romantic way, don’t. I mention this because ladies (future aunties in the making), everyone and their mother starts to bug you about kids directly and indirectly. I want to say it starts right after you leave education (rather that’s high school or college). It’s literally to the point where I have to start staying away from people and putting my phone on airplane mode. The last thing I’m thinking about, especially right now is being someone’s mother. (Well maybe to my outdoor cats).
7. It’s interesting, because as my Youtube gets into the 10s of millions instead of millions, I keep getting comments like this..
OMGGGG I thought you were a teenager.
This girllll is an adult.
Despite what they say, (and still having a babyface), I do have signs of aging, which is mostly my hair turning gray.
Are you really curious as to how I “look” so young, and yet so many of my peers are aging faster and look like they are in their 40s? Genes. Working out. But a big big thing. Keeping the stressful situations within my control at bay.
Lets be REALLY honest. Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. I’m someone that really values my own time and space, and SLEEP. I think one of the reasons why I was able to cope with hard things in my life (i.e. friends passing away) is I had a lot of time to myself. No one was looking or demanding anything off of me. It was just me and my thoughts. One friend disappears for weeks around the time our friend passed away from suicide each year. We don’t question it, and everyone has their way of dealing with things. He comes back around when he’s ready.
If I was being pulled in many different directions, trying to be everything to everyone at everyone’s beck and call being a mother, do you really think it would be the same? Hell no. At least in the auntie capacity, when I overextend/life happens I will have time to recoup and regroup BY MYSELF. I know a lot of women out here do it, but I would drown if I was in a circumstance where I give give give give give give, try to give from an empty cup give, not get sleep yet try to give.
And FYI I did have a trial run at it before, saw myself deteriorate to one of the worst states I’ve ever seen myself go to, and I simply said to myself. Alesha we are gonna get out of this, and I would be crazzzyyyyyy as f*** if I let this happen again. Lets not listen to what the world tells us and do things our own way next time, look at what listening to well intentioned advice got you? A one way ticket to hell, and irreversible damage and thank God you figured it out while you were in your 20’s and still young, not in your 90's.
So I didn’t and I don’t.
So the bottom line is, I don’t mind being called names, like selfish, cruel, a bitch, mean, a slut and everything except the son of God. Because all these same people who did the name calling were not around and not gonna be around. And would not show up. And I’m not going to live life purely just to fit in with others. I noticed I ran into issues when I listened to others well intentioned advice. Sometimes I believe people saw “potential” in me and they tried to do one of two things: cultivate or try to destroy me. Many tried to destroy me, and I saw what was happening, and still kept my eye on the prizes. Where would I be if I actually fell for what the jealous people were saying “don’t do this” “you can’t be that.” If you have people around you that’s kicking you down, negative nannies, trying to talk you out of your dream? Don’t listen to them. Distance yourself from them, and if you can’t (maybe they are in your family, or you see them at work often?) Limit your contact with them.
I rather be make my own bed and lie in it, be a little what the world calls “lonely” (which by the way, being an only child, I thrive in my alone time) and left out sometimes then be living in misery 24/7 in the situation, regretting my life, hating it, wishing I did things differently. Or seeking “help” and the “help” would be/is is not putting myself in the circumstances in the first place. “But how do you know? You wouldn’t know because you don’t try it. It may make you happy and fulfill you in ways you don’t realize. I know my personality, and I’m not going to follow the status quo because others think it will make me happy. I do not care what people think, and I picked my poison years ago.
8. This world sends a lot of mixed messages. When it comes to advice nowadays, I take some and leave some. I know there’s so many people who followed what they were told to do growing up, and now they aren’t as happy as they thought. They are living this life that they were told their whole lives that would ultimately lead to their fulfillment/happiness/purpose, just to realize they are former shadows of themselves. This guy Michael from Quora describes it perfectly.
I find that “aunties” and the rebellious women are fun to be around, because I find they are unapologetically themselves. To be yourself in a world who is trying to make you be everything you are not is the greatest accomplishment.
People really have no sympathy or empathy towards women who have issues of some sort (mental, emotional, etc), especially if you are a woman with kids… (look at Brittany Spears, they are coming down harder on her because she’s a woman and a mother. The double standards are there, yes….she’s made tons of mistakes…but the double standards are there.)
If you are self aware enough to know that’s it’s not for you, and know that the world is just going to kick you down further, why bother? I have my quiet time, my peace, my mental faculties in tact (saw what it looked like when the screws got lose, and screwed them back in myself). Why in the world would I want to put myself in the lion’s den, and then expect rescuers to come into the lion’s den to try to save me? My thing is to avoid the lion’s den in the first place.
Misery loves company and some people want you to be unhappy because they are.
Which leads to my next point.
9. Necesitas saber esto ✨ A la gente no siempre la gustas!
Since I’m rapping in Spanish nowadays, I’ll write out the Spanish and English versions. (It’s published, give me a bit, but in a nutshell, don’t expect everyone to be happy for you)
Be careful of those who grow silent during your season of celebration. It’s amazing how much people like you until it gets really good. People don’t mind being with you, as long as they feel like they are on the same level. But the minute your lifting comes? When it’s clear that you are highly favored? Or things are just going well? LOOK AROUND. AND WATCH THOSE WHO GROW SILENT.
Watch those who stop clapping.
Watch those who start speaking negatively about you.
Watch those who stop coming.
Watch those who try to compare what they have to what you have.
Watch people who always try to lift themselves in the conversation.
Watch people who are always in competition with you.
Watch those people who will not give you a compliment, no matter what.
Especially when you are elevation or ascending to new levels of success.
If somebody cannot be genuinely happy for you, these are the people that absolutely do not need to be in your life.
They don’t call.
They don’t show up.
And they stop applauding, because they slick jealous of what’s happening in your life.
You do not need these people around.
Be mindful of these people.
And definitely don’t call them a friend. Pastor Kels said it best.
Auntie Alesha has experienced a lot of this and remember you can still rise.
The most consistent thing that I’ve heard from many of my clients during this time is that many people seemed to just be “falling out of their lives.”
Have you experienced this recently, Alesha?
If it’s been difficult with losing old friends, disconnecting with family members that just don’t seem to support you or understand who you truly are, and even move away from jobs that no longer serve you, you’re truly in alignment with The Universe’s energy.
Don’t worry!
This isolated feeling is coming to a close with the divine message of fulfilling partnership and friendship with the 3 of Cups card.
As challenging as vibrating past your old friends and family might have been, it was completely necessary to isolate and improve yourself by yourself.
Now that you have space in your life for new connections, you can attract authentic soul family members that match this 3 of Cups energy in the future!
People being jealous, people not applauding, people disappearing from your life and people you want to care, you deep down know they don’t. If you sit back and let the universe do it’s thing, I promise what’s waiting on the other side is better than the people and situations that you wanted before.
Not everyone is gonna be happy for you. Some people only get a taste of success by taking a bite out of you, and some people never escape the jealous mindset at all. If you read enough of my stories, I ran into so many people that loved backstabbing, cutting, and gossiping about others to move themselves up. It was ridiculous. I’m not the jealous type, and I can pick up on jealous behaviors right away. There’s a lot of jealousy out here, but you still do you anyways. And just know there’s people out here that have your back and that is on your wavelength, but you have to find them. It may take time, but it’s worth it. What people say and think of you is none of your business.
10. My Auntie Alesha channel is launched.
11. 9/12/2022 Update.
I wanted to add these in, because as auntie, I do look up things for my girls (i.e. cousins and friends I love ya). I take courses, get on Mama Natural and so forth to educate myself so I can attempt to be helpful. There’s a lot of info to read through out here, for real. Because I’m not going to be a mother, it’s impossible to put myself in her shoes because I never been there (and heck there’s somethings I won’t get, but that’s cool). Reading those blogs and watching those videos are the closest thing I’ll ever get to it.
In these links, I see indirect references that what #teamchildfree is saying is not too far off from the tree…
After 40 weeks of pregnancy, followed by childbirth, you’re probably still getting used to your post-baby body. Yes there might be a few stretchmarks, or you might have had a tear while giving birth, but it’s important you learn to love your body and respect the amazing thing it has done.
But while things aren’t quite the same with a newborn around,
Parenthood brings with it a whole new level of tiredness that you didn’t even know existed when you were child-free…
After you’ve been through the trauma of labour and endured weeks of sleep deprivation,
There are plenty of other reasons why you may not feel like having sex: Adjusting to motherhood can be stressful or emotionally all-consuming. You may feel less attractive or less confident in your changing postpartum body. You may be nervous about becoming pregnant again, particularly if you’re using a new form of contraception. Or you could be struggling with postpartum depression.
When taking care of a newborn, there will be stress, sleep deprivation, and hormones at play. It’s difficult to adjust to your new life as a parent.
Your mental health can also affect libido. Postpartum anxiety and depression are common, or maybe you had mental health struggles before giving birth.
because once you become a parent, ‘tired’ takes on a whole new meaning.
That’s alright.
As you were.
-Auntie Alesha
